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Wien

The Expendables series

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The trailer for part 2 was just dropped and, well... come ON guys. You are going out of your way to avoid this one. Its going to happen.

 

Go ahead and get 1 done first....

 

...and then when 2 hits the theaters, queue this bad boy on up and drop it like its hot while its fresh.

 

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"I now pronounce you man and knife"?????? You KNOW they had a contest to come up with the most ridiculous 80s catch phrase, and someone won with that. And then they went as far out of their way as possible to work it into the movie.

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I'm not totally sure there's enough material in the first one, but the second should be great. When your trailers have an "Also" credit, you know you're overstuffing your movie with big(gish) names.

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Bumping. There is no logical reason for this series not to be covered, other than that it is too amazing.

 

The cast probably makes up for a quarter of the HDTGM episodes that have been recorded. It has a body count just shy of 200. Hundreds of one liners that just barely make sense. HDTGM superstay Sly Stallone, Dolph Lundgren as a junkie, and physicis that make the Fast and the Furious seem feasible. Not to mention Eric Roberts, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Frasier himself.

 

This is basically a series that was made solely for HDTGM.

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I feel like if we're allowed to nominate a whole franchise, I have to suggest the Riddick series - it has Vin Diesel as the main protagonist, who never really becomes likeable. He barely ever speaks, so all character development has to be taken from him being bad ass, and us nerds will just have to understand that this makes him the hero, despite all evidence to the contrary. You have the strange change of scope over three movies - the first one is a simple crashed-transport-survivors-have-to-band-together film, and Riddick is a convict, that's it. Relatively solid if middling and flatly written action flick. The second movie goes all out space opera - suddenly there are these Necromongers, a warfaring group of religious zealots that conquer their way across the known universe in pursuit of the "underverse" (don't ask), and it turns out that Riddick is the last of a race called the Furyians. Those apparently have a revenge thing going on with those Necromongers, as Riddick gets blessed with the spiritual mark of the furians in a sort of dream sequence... Anyway, just after it turns out some other guy is also a Furyian somehow, that guy commits suicide, and then Riddick takes on the Necromongers, defeating the lead baddie and becoming overlord a la Conan. This whole movie is quite well done visually, the necromongers certainly have a style of their own. Bam, third movie - and it's scaled back enormously again. Riddick, not talking for a solid first 15-20mins of the film, has been leader of the (murderous, remember? what did Riddick do all those years?) Necromongers without converting and gets betrayed and left for dead on some hostile planet. It turns into movie one again, only this time the wrecked crew consists of two opposing teams of bounty hunters out for riddick, with one of the worst psychopaths of all time. Santana, who I suspect wrote all his own dialogue, spouts terrible dialogue and is clearly someone's limited imagination of someone mental and presumably french. Riddick speaks even less in this one, and while there is some Necromonger framework, the 3rd movie threw out all their pleasing visuals - and indeed all the relationship to Riddick. You may as well skip the 2nd movie and do the 3rd one as a sequel. Nothing about Furyians (that dumb fucking name, oh man) anymore, he abandons the whole necromonger thing right until the end, where they vaguely set up another sequel (announced as in the works on wiki).

 

I'm sorry, this got superlong - but I watched all those three a few days ago, and the inconsistencies are striking. Plus, you know, Vin Diesel.

 

Things I never want to hear again: Riddick (aka Vin Diesel) predicting he'll be "balls deep into Dahl (aka poor Katee Sackhoff) [later], but only because she asked [him] to". Yuck. Apparently, it's an expression of how cool and strong he supposedly is, but I got squicked out nonetheless. Spoiler: she follows through. Yuck again.

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My Dad loved these movies lmao

Literally geeked out "that's Terminator and Rocky!" 

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