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Episode 81 - Summer S'mores with Conan and the Chill Chums 5

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On another Summer S’mores special, Conan and the Chill Chums discuss the perfect murder.

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Regarding perfect murders and how not to do one, I encourage an internet search for "Drax Quartermain" and go down a crazy rabbit hole that includes a person who broke his girlfriend out of prison by stealing a helicopter and landing it in the prison yard, and a man who was supposed to go into witness protection but refused because WITSEC wouldn't let him use the name "Drax Quartermain" for his new identity.  Cheers, and you're welcome!

Edit to add: I work for a lawyer that almost exclusively handles murder cases, so can confirm that most murderers are not smart.

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I work with violent crimes and murder for a living, but not as a criminal.  I can verify that Sona is correct--serial killers are considerably smarter than others.  To deal with all of the death and crime I see every day, a warped sense of humor is a must and Conan would fit right in with the major crime detectives I work with.  Like Sissa above, I can also confirm that most murderers are not smart, although they think they are.   Conan is also correct that we have a lot of homicides here in the Pacific Northwest.  Could be the rain, or could be the meth.  Frequently it's both.    

Also, I am as pale, if not more so than Conan.  If Conan, Jim Gaffigan, and I were in a room together, we could easily blind an entire state.  Some of the attorneys I work with cover their eyes when I have a dress or skirt on and any of my skin shows.  Also, my son says my arms will look like a giraffe's neck soon due to my freckles.  Being Irish is great.  (cough).  

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I don't know where to review your podcast because I've been drinking so this is where I'm going to do it.



Hello Rob, Arnie, and Dawn wannabes! If you love Dave's Killer Bread, then you'll love my criminal record!  Hahahaha, just kidding, not really. Anyway, give me a job at six figures a year, and a Corvette, and I'm yours. All I want is a chance at a job interview, and if I beat you in that wresting match then the job is mine! 


P.S. I've been drinking

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