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CarolineEAnd

Bad Summer Movies!

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Yeah he and Paul are buddies. Is he in Click, though? It must be a small part, I can't remember him being in it at all.

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He plays the Bed, Bath And Beyond creepy dude who wants friends

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Days of Thunder....just horrible. I fell for the hype and tried to convince myself that this is a good movie. Tom Cruise and his 'rival' driver have a wheelchair race inside a hospital -do I need to say more?

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Off "Days of Thunder," I was going to say "just about anything Tony Scott has made..." then I checked Wikipedia and found a surprising number of his movies were released in the fall. The only ones left besides "Days of Thunder" are "The Taking of Pelham 123"*, "The Fan," "Crimson Tide"**, "Beverly Hills Cop 2" and "Top Gun"**. It's annoying, because the only movie of his I've seen is "Man on Fire," and if any movie feels like a stupid summer film, it's that one.

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* I've never seen the Tony Scott version, but I hate it solely off the impression that someone thought the 1970s classic needed less Matthau and Robert Shaw and more John Travolta.

** Yes, I'm aware plenty of people actually like those movies. I'm just listing.

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"The Punisher" and "Man on Fire" came out in the same month, and "Man on Fire" was so much better of a Punisher movie than "The Punisher" was.

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No Holds Barred was a summer movie. Plus, tie-in with the re-release.

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Guys guys guys! We've overlooked the most obvious choice!

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Danny Devito plays a detective who happens to be a cartoon cat named Whiskers. Sir Ian McKellan plays Death. This movie has to be done!

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Last Action Hero is AMAZING! Smiley Face Eyed bad guys? Come on! I agree, it must be done.

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JAWS: THE REVENGE!!!

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It would be sacrilege to have a bad summer movie series without it...

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The heartwarming tale of a telepathic shark that travels over 1200 miles through the chilly Atlantic to the tropical Bahamas in order to avenge his slain bloodline. You've got...

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- Michael Cane playing Hoagie, a drug trafficker with a heart of gold. A role that caused him to miss accepting his Academy Award for Hannah and Her Sisters.

- A telepathic connection between Helen Brody and the shark (oh yes there are dream sequences!)

- A shark taking down a sea-plane... yes a f*cking sea plane!

- The shark's final demise involves recycled footage from the original

- The water tank wall is clearly visible for almost the entire finale!

and much much more!!!

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Fun fact: In the original script (and featured in the novelization and may have even been shot - Universal is mum) the reasoning behind the shark's obsession with the Brody family is not revenge but a voodoo curse! Yes a gosh darn voodoo curse!.

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Please please, please consider!

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My Super Ex-Girlfriend from Ivan Reitman the guy who gave us Stripes and Ghostbusters. Starring Luke Wilson and Uma Thurman with Anna Farris, Rainn Wilson, Wanda Sykes, and Eddie Izzard.

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Batman & Robin

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Battlefield Earth

Super Mario Bros.

Howard the Duck

Jurassic Park 2 (if for nothing else than the scene where that 10 year old girl does gymnastics and kicks a dinosaur in the face)

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Oh, also...this...

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I mean..."He's a Rappin' Genie with an attitude...AND he's ready for Slam-Dunk fun!"

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Oh man...Cobra is the BEST! My favorite part is when he's eating the pizza, and he cuts just the tip off and only eats the little triangle.

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Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon

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Absolutely horrible! Its 2 hrs 34 min, nuff said there, not to mention the absolutely retarded acting: to call the actor's performances childish is to severely insult all children around the world. It makes Stallone's Dredd performance look subtle and nuanced, I would rather watch Judge Dredd 20 times than have to watch 10 minuets of Transformers 3 again.

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How could I have forgotten quite possibly one of the greatest movies that was tailor made for this program?!?!

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CONGO!!!!!

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You need to do this movie. The list of everything in this film reads like a "Stefon" sketch: It's got Lava, Lasers, Sign language monkeys, sesame cake, Bruce Campbell, hippos, pygmies.

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CONGO!!!!!

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Also, need to second The Happening, as that movie melted my brain when I saw it. And Deep Blue Sea, because... it's Deep Blue Sea

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Speed Racer, which had to be the most physically painful to watch movies I've ever seen

Rocky & Bullwinkle

Osmosis Jones

every movie inspired by a video game

oh yeah, and how about North? that movie was TERRIBLE

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oh yeah, and how about North? that movie was TERRIBLE

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Oh, my god NORTH! How could we forget the inspiration for Roger Ebert's I Hated Hated Hated Hated This Movie?

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Stealth

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I'm still pulling so hard for Wild Wild West. I second Congo and Super Mario Bros big time.

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May I also submit The Haunting. Oh boy. I saw that movie a bunch of times as a teenager and it's so bad, I've blocked most of it out except for Owen Wilson's death scene. When I started watching Six Feet Under and Lili Taylor was introduced as a character, I went "Oh shit. It's that chick from The Haunting."

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Then there's Stealth. It tried to be Top Gun. It failed.

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If we're talking Michael Bay, I think Pearl Harbor is the way to go because not only does it suck, but it capitalized on a giant tragedy.

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And just as a side note for why Wild Wild West NEEDS to be done: Will Smith publicly apologized for it.

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Someone mentioned movies based on video games earlier, and I think that needs to be expanded on, because those are a gold mine in general.

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Two words, for instance; MORTAL KOMBAT!

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT4nmnr6fWk"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT4nmnr6fWk

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Based on the hit fighting game! Many people consider this to be the least terrible video game-based movie ever made, partly due to its

and lovably hammy acting.

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On the other hand, the sequal,

, is unironically considered to be the worst video game-based movie ever made. I don't even know where to begin explaining why.

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Alternatively, there's Street Fighter: The Movie, which stars Jean Claude Van-Damme and the late Raul Julia, and was the standard-setter for bad fighting game movies.

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And there are so many others, too. Are you familiar with Uwe Boll?

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"Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" (which unlike the first one was a Thanksgiving release) is probably the absolute worst film I've ever seen in a theater, which is really saying something, as I manage a theater and watch all SORTS of shit that I'd never pay to see. Back in 1997 though, man, did I ever pay for it. I remember seeing "Boogie Nights" earlier the same day at the same theater, which has since become my favorite film of all time, so I guess the universe has a crazy way of keeping the balance.

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