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Episode 39 — Godzilla

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Pop on your headphones, but be careful no giant dinosaurs sneak up on you!  Attack Of The Show's Chris Gore bravely sat through Godzilla to discuss this summer movie disaster with the HDTGM crew, and it's agreed that cute baby Godzillas eating popcorn aren't enough to save this one. Keep suggesting bad summer movies for us to cover, and join HDTGM’s Summer Movie League to compete for a cool prize!

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I can't believe how little I remembered about this thing from 14 years ago. It was pretty good considering that I'm pretty sure it was one of the only movies written and cast by Helen Keller. Thank you Jason for mentioning the boats falling off of Godzilla. To play devil's advocate you don't really see him at that point in the movie, so maybe his hands were full of boats. However, I really can't swallow the fact that Godzilla sat in Madison Square Garden shitting out eggs and sticking them everywhere. To settle the discussion, Jean Reno was gonna edit himself out of the tape...I assume. Love the show guys, even though we are "central losers."

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I know this show doesn't touch on the soundtracks, but how can you forget Puff Daddy spitting hot fire with Jimmy Page:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShVzWDp5DsQ

Also Rage Against the Machine proclaims "Godzilla [is] pure motherfuckin' filler..." on their track "No Shelter (Godzilla)". This movie sucked in every way possible.

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"2012" was actually HUGE. I mean it's dumber than shit, and it only did OK in the U.S. as far as big explody blockbusters are concerned (166 million), but it did another 600 million internationally. The next time anyone trashes on America for making brainless, stupid entertainment, they need to look at the rest of the world to see who's fault it really is for making them hits.

 

Oh Jesus, I forgot about the Puff Daddy song, or rather, "Kashmir" with a lot of yelling over it. The biggest problem I had with that song was when he and Jimmy Page performed it on SNL. There was this orchestra backing them up, and they made it a point to show us the sheet music they were looking at, which was titled "Come With Me", not "Kashmir With Puffy Just Yelling Over It".

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I could not finish this movie. It's the first movie in HDTGM history that I simply could not finish. It LITERALLY was the most grating, awful thing I have ever seen. I thought the movie was over, and then I saw that there was an hour left. I skipped around and realized that the next hour would be literally the exact same crap that I had just endured.

 

Also, I'm just going to say it: lizards don't eat fish.

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Was that first Amazon review written by the Green Lantern? Who drinks a cocktail after worrying about WORLD PEACE and COSMIC DISASTERS?

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"That's a lot of fish".

 

By the way, my favourite review from the French amazon

 

 

"Godzilla est un super film , a conseiller livraison très rapide, excellent qualité a couper le souffle.

Une image et un son au top. "

 

5/5 etoiles

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You know what's messed up? In my memory of this film, the only thing I liked was that Kathy Griffin--who I can't stand--seemed kind of sexy as the cute, quirky redhead scientist (and realization that I found KG attractive made me sick to my stomach).

 

Then I rechecked the cast and realized that Kathy Griffin wasn't in 'Godzilla' ... it was Vicki Lewis as the cute, quirky redhead scientist.

 

Thank God!

 

But that's how awful this movie is ...

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James Rolfe aka Angry Videogame Nerd had a great Monster Madness episode over this Godzilla, too. Check it.

 

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Let's not forget about the Saturday morning cartoon that was the follow up to this movie. It picks up right after the movie where Broderick's character finds the egg from the final scene in the movie. He then goes to raise it like a pet and the new Godzilla fights monsters that attack the city, basically a campy version of the movie fans would have liked to see where Godzilla fights monsters rather than farting out eggs in Madison Square Garden.

 

Here's a part of the first episode of the cartoon:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVXUrAej-4A&feature=related

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My favorite moment may be Jean Reno's Elvis impression. Or the "fat slob" scientist who sneezes all over his hands right before going in for a hand shake. Comedy gold.

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Did anyone else notice the Independence Day Alien toy on top of the computer when they broadcast out of Madison Square Garden?

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I probably hadn't seen this movie since I went crazy for it when I was 8. Buying all the toys, renting it every time I had friends over...

 

Everything you guys said was true. The boats. The half hour of set-up with boring characters talking around the globe. The weirdly majestic, almost bouncy score. The terrible CGI that would barely pass in a SyFy original movie these days.

 

I'm so sad now.

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Just had to post this clip. This is what Chris was talking about, from "Godzilla: Final Wars" - supposedly the last Godzilla movie (it wasn't), and a sort of anniversary movie where Godzilla fights EVERY MONSTER from throughout the series' history. Toho added in the stupid '98 American Godzilla - here, just called 'Zilla' - simply so that Godzilla classic could kill him in seconds. Here's the clip:

 

 

I suppose I should also mention that Hollywood is going to try it again. They hired the director of the excellent (though not as excellent as Cloverfield) 2010 found footage monster movie, "Monsters" (Gareth Edwards) to write and direct a new Godzilla reboot. Toho and Legendary Pictures are co-producing it, so here's hoping it's much, much better than this turd.

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Truly an amazing episode...thanks for going with my suggestion.

 

Chris Gore was dead on with the Japanese referencing the American version of Godzilla in Godzilla: Final Wars. Its one of the best scenes in that film. Some Japanese scientist says something to effect that there might be more than one Godzilla out there. Another scientist pops in "What about the one in America?" and the reply... "That didn't exist"... classic.

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Truly an amazing episode...thanks for going with my suggestion.

 

Chris Gore was dead on with the Japanese referencing the American version of Godzilla in Godzilla: Final Wars. Its one of the best scenes in that film. Some Japanese scientist says something to effect that there might be more than one Godzilla out there. Another scientist pops in "What about the one in America?" and the reply... "That didn't exist"... classic.

Well now I officially have to watch this movie.

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Well now I officially have to watch this movie.

 

Godzilla: Final Wars the US version is known as Zilla; It references the 1998 Godzilla movie when Zilla is defeated. The bad guys, in the Japanese version, says, "I knew that tuna-eating lizard was useless," a reference to the American creature's diet of fish in the 1998 film. In the American version, he calls Zilla a "tuna-head". The line was, "I knew that tuna-head wasn't up to much!"

 

Truly a shitty Kaiju film of epicness

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The Lucky Dragon Incident invovling Japanese fisherman and the US Military who were testing a Hydrogen Bomb in the South Pacific was what inspired the original "Gojira" film to get made. As far as Toho was concerned they were making any anti-nuclear film disguised as a giant monster movie since American occupation after World War II prevented the Japanese from saying anything outright about nuclear bombs during that time. The scene of Fisherman being attacked by Godzilla is a reference to that incident.

 

Which makes this film really messed up since they decided to recreate that scene as an homage to the original film but in doing so stripped it of all its context especally since the French are to blame for the creation of Godzilla in this movie.

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I wanted to post something about how it was ironic that Pepsi had advertisements in both the film Godzilla and the podcast that took the film apart, but then actually looked into it and the only advertising tie-in's Godzilla had were with Taco Bell

and Kodak Max
.

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I have a very vivid childhood memory of watching New Years Rockin' Eve and a 15 second commercial that came on with a fake-out countdown/balldrop that was smashed by Godzilla followed by the ominous "This Summer" or whatever. Me and my brother lost our shit and my dad took us to see it the first weekend.

 

All I remembered before this episode was asexual reproduction and eggs in a basketball stadium. I honestly didn't remember anything else now that I have heard it. But hearing the gang tear it apart is so much better anyway.

 

Great episode! This is going to be an awfully fun summer

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Thank you for covering this movie. You've given me closure on this chapter of my life. I was one of those fans who was so excited to see an American blockbuster version of Godzilla, and I ended up leaving the theater angry and confused (he's pregnant? how big is the he/she lizard? Where is he/she hiding? Why is that man named Animal? Do Kodak pop-machine's really exist?). I've had this pent-up rage since 1998 and finally, your humorous podcast can help me put this section of my movie watching history to rest.

Also, the reason Broderick looks so old is that he had to hide out on Broadway for so long after making this film. It's impossible to stay young while singing showtunes with Nathan Lane.

 

I've loved the Speed 2 and Godzilla podcasts....keep up the great work!

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