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Episode 67 — Religious Upbringing

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Attention podcast listeners, the answer to stuff is in this week’s Professor Blastoff! Hampton Yount joins us for an all out discussion on religious upbringing. We dive into baptism, going to church, and the social aspect of religion. Get up on your feet, put on your best velvet suit, and listen!

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"girlfriend, this plane stank" = me spraying coffee all over my monitor. Thanks Kyle! Also, the yodaberg impression was delightful!

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On Scientology:

Part of the reason that I find old religions like Christianity and Judaism more acceptable is that at the time, it seems as logical an explanation as anything else. Today we have built this whole system of scientific understanding over the course of thousands of years. But if you looked at things like the theory of relativity, or the big bang, without all those intermediary steps are just as crazy as anything in mythology. Hell, I remember when I was a kid just hearing that the world was round, and that the earth went around the sun, blew my mind when I first understood it. Basic empirical observation makes it seem like both these things are false, but there was really no evidence to contradict the events of the Bible 2000 years ago. And Christians today are just following those ideas that have been passed on for millennia.

 

But with Scientology, you have people who have all this knowledge of how the world really does work, and yet they're still believing all this crazy bullshit that makes no sense. Not that I agree with Christianity, but I kind of think it's just human nature and can live with it. Whereas Scientology is this wholly modern creation, and one that extorts insane amounts of money from its followers. To me it's on a different level from more traditional organized religions.

 

 

I do think there's truth to the idea that religion is inherent to human nature. Kyle says that this is something most of us would only believe if told--that we wouldn't come to that conclusion entirely on our own. But the thing is, humans are social animals. It is natural for us to interact and communicate with other humans. And I think it is human nature to want to believe in some sort of a higher power to explain the things we don't understand, and make us feel like there is meaning to our lives. And while all things in the universe do have a natural explanation, to humans just observing the world through their own five senses, it is hard to imagine that such a big and complex natural world isn't planned, and created, and maintained, by some sort of higher being or force.

 

One more thing: people often see hell as something that was thought up to scare nonbelievers, but I don't think that's true. As a child, hell is indeed very scary. But to an adult, being told that according to some belief system you think is horseshit, you might be suffering after you die--is that persuasive to anyone? I can't imagine it would have been in any time.

 

No, I think that the reason heaven and hell appealed to people is because it gave comfort to believers. I think we all want to believe that there is inherent justice in the world. We see bad things happen to good people, and vice versa, and we don't like it. To think that all those evil people will get what's coming to them, while those of us who do good will be rewarded, is a very appealing idea. Especially to people living in more pagan religions, which usually centered around superstition and mythology and didn't emphasize things like morality and justice.

 

Of course Christianity and all major world religions have superstition and mythology. And a lot of their followers will hold on to the superstitions, or apply a simplistic and superstitious interpretation to their own belief system. My point is that they put themselves forward as something more, and offer you a sense that you are not just obeying the whims of these powerful beings, but answering to a higher calling to be a good and righteous person. I think that if you look at all the successful major world religions (Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism) that is what distinguishes them from older pagan religions. Not saying that they are any more true--I'm an atheist--just that the religions that have really been successful over the years have done so by appealing to people's better natures.

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I thought Kyle's Mark Zuckerberg was based on Matt Besser's impersonation from a few months ago on CBB. I was pretty surprised to hear MZ's real voice, which is surprisingly similar to the impersonation Kyle (or Besser) did. Nice work. It's not as fun as Bill Maher or as luxurious as Trump, but it's another fun voice to add to the mix.

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Kyle's Maher impression is awesome. Never stop doing it.

 

Also I just remembered a story related to "baptizing kids when their parents weren't looking." My grandmother baptized my cousins when they weren't looking. They were very religious Catholics, but her kids are all very much less so, and one of my aunts married a guy who is pretty much an atheist and never had any intention of baptizing them. So my grandparents baptized them in the kitchen sink. I remember thinking that was so fucked up when I heard about it, especially since my grandmother is one of the sweetest ladies you ever met.

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So I guess this was one of the banked pre-cancer-diagnosis episodes? I kind of cringed when Tig was talking about the plane scare and jokingly said something like "My mother dies, I get C-dif, and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now I'm going to die in a plane crash."

 

Kyle's impressions were great...luxurious, even.

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@Kickpuncher I don't believe they started banking episodes until Tig's diagnosis/run up to the diagnosis. When Tig started the plane story with that bit right there, it sounded like she was focusing on what her mindset was at the time of the flight, and excluded what was to come because it wasn't relevant to the story.

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@Kickpuncher I don't believe they started banking episodes until Tig's diagnosis/run up to the diagnosis. When Tig started the plane story with that bit right there, it sounded like she was focusing on what her mindset was at the time of the flight, and excluded what was to come because it wasn't relevant to the story.

 

I'm pretty sure this is a banked one, I thought they mentioned that they had some banked before that episode. That was heartbreaking though, to hear her saying she was feeling like that, having no idea what was coming for her.

 

Plus, I thought she wasn't doing any new shows right now so I don't think she would be hosting an event in DC like that.

 

Oh, and the clincher is Tig asking for donations for CLOWN SERVICE, since we know they met their goal.

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With the number of times Kyle went into Bill Mahr, maybe this ep should've been called "Religulous Upbringing."

 

If PB ever decides to do another religion show, it'd be interesting to have a religious historian on. Religious historians are different from theologians in that they study the actual history and historical context of religion, which debunks a lot of the religious claims that get cited from the bible (in the case of Christianity).

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This was a really funny listen. Thanks for this podcast, it makes my nonstop commuting pretty bearable.

 

David read my e mail a number of eps back and it made my day to hear Kyle's brief trump vs bill maher impression. I felt Luxurious for the entirety of the Chemistry class I was on my way to. I think Kyle's Zuckerberg sounded like Kermit the Frog.

 

Best wishes to all, especially Tig in tough times.

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I think Kyle's Zuckerberg sounded like Kermit the Frog.

 

 

Ha. I said the same thing.

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Hey T&K&D...aaaand A,

 

Great show-I hope things are going well with Tig and Kyle's move. You're all in my thoughts. The show's been a wild ride lately, and I wanted to single out Kyle's Donald Trump imitation for high praise-it's weird, eerily accurate, and of course most luxurious...

 

Jamey

Austin, TX

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When did Kyle show Tig his balls? Is there a wiki of episodes/stories somewhere? I love your stories and I hate when I miss/forget one. I could listen to the AIDS story every day for the rest of my life and it will always make me laugh.

 

Aweeeesome ep! Wopp on da geep!

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When did Kyle show Tig his balls?

 

He didn't really show Tig his balls. He pretended to show her his balls by using a toy basketball or something.

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Kyle needs to bust out the Zuckerberg impression more often. It's better than they were giving him credit for.

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