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The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure (2012)

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What was supposed to be "Rocky Horror" for kids turned out to be the worst weekend box office opening of all time. Featuring Christopher Lloyd, Cary Elwes, Toni Braxton, and Chaz Palminteri and from "The Marketing Visionary who brought you Teletubies, Thomas the Tank Engine, and Eloise' and the Oscar-nominated director Mark Diamond, this children's film seems like an endurance test to say the least but it's such a catastrophic misfire it can't be ignored.

 

Oogieloves-hys.jpg

 

See for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1kVrIkDW6Q

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It's pure nightmare fuel. We had the talking standee in our lobby for like 3 months, and I still didn't believe it was going to be a real movie. It seems like one of those fake movies within a movie that's supposed to satirize how stupid kids movies are, but sure enough, it's real. I caught a couple minutes of it here and there, and it seems like it's a movie for 2-year-olds that was written by 6-year-olds...on cocaine.

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It's now been featured on My Year World of Flops. And, seeing as how HDTGM inspired Nathan Rabin to see "Drive Angry," I feel like they should be inspired by this. It would be awesome.

 

Heck, get Rabin to guest.

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Yikes... maybe this is TOO terrible to have them sit through though? There's gotta be a limit to what Paul, June and Jason can endure.

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I actually think Christian Jacobs would make a great host. He's the lead singer of the Aquabats, the creator of Yo Gabba Gabba (which Paul is on) and a funny guy. I think he could give some insight into where this insanely cynical kids movie went wrong.

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"Ooh -- Let's make a Teletubbies movie!"

"Uh, we can't get the rights for that."

"Let's make it anyway!"

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I did sort of just say that. Thing is, Yo Gabba Gabba is a great show for small children but by all accounts Oogieloves is bizarre yet having no personality of it's own.

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I am shocked the movement for this on here has gone dormant. I mean just out the gate this film is the biggest bomb released on over 2500 screens of all time, which alone is worth its attention. On top of that though the whole production/marketing of the film is a total disaster of epic proportions(almost exclusively focusing on the producer being "the marketing visionary of the Teletubbies). On top of that this is true nightmare fodder of the highet order, I can only imagine what the panel would make of Cary Elwes' performance alone. All of this being some of the finest misguided nightmare fodder that you could ask for.

 

For Your Consideration,

Chaos...reigns

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Yikes... maybe this is TOO terrible to have them sit through though? There's gotta be a limit to what Paul, June and Jason can endure.

 

Yeah, this honestly just looks plain old horrible, not fun horrible.

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Oh trust me, it's worth it.

 

I was just laughing at myself when I was trying to find any assemblance of plot or motivation in this film. This is truly one of the few films where it just keeps topping itself over and over again with horribleness. I don't know where to begin. The southern belle mirror, J. Edgar, the balloons, Cloris Leachman's Drunken Grandma, Cary Elwes doing whatever the hell he's doing here.

 

Special notice does need to be taken by the Toni Braxton scene. I genuinely felt that they were trying to sexualize her and to have her sing not a fast paced kids song, but a Ballad on sneezing and coughing was mind-boggling. And I was infuriated at the fact that for no reason at all, Toni Braxton's character, Rosalie Rosebud, who loves roses, also is allergic to them.

 

This has to be a billion times more crazy than The Smurfs, so it needs to be seen!

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This is a thing? I first heard about this on the JRJR Show an just assumed that it was a bit. This sounds like the kind of movie that would probably make Jason go ballistic, so naturally they need to watch it.

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I'm pretty sure Paul and the gang have mentioned this movie more than once, so they're definitely aware of it, I have a feeling though that they've watched the trailer and can just not bring themselves to want to watch this. Or maybe I'm just projecting, because that's definitely how I feel.

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I would think Paul would be aware of it, at least via his Yo Gabba Gabba connections. Also, this movie somehow spent $20 Million on Marketing.

 

I repeat, $20 Million on Marketing

 

And yet I didn't know it existed until maybe 4 months ago. Insanity.

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As I said before, I wouldn't have known that it was a real thing if we hadn't had the giant talking standee in our lobby. That said, I'm STILL not sure that "Dino Time" is real. Look THAT thing up. We had the standee, never saw the trailer at all, and it was seemingly bumped from it's alleged first week of December (or as I like to call it "The Punisher War Zone Memorial") death slot last year into an abyss from which it never returned. Box Office Mojo isn't even sure if it exists.

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On 9/19/2012 at 2:46 AM, sillstaw said:

It's now been featured on My Year World of Flops. And, seeing as how HDTGM inspired Nathan Rabin to see "Drive Angry," I feel like they should be inspired by this. It would be awesome.

 

Heck, get Rabin to guest.

I say they should not only have Rabin on, but do it in Rabin's town of Atlanta, which they weirdly don't seem to have ever done a show in. I'd drive down for that.

Jacobs is also a good pick for this if they decide to do a CA show.

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