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  1. Today
  2. Ladies put your hands in the air if you wanna dance! Fellas put your hands in the air if your city has a major unfunded pension liability!
  3. Look at Zsa Zsa Gaborscht-Belt over here.
  4. Tickle my pickle with a hammer and sickle. This is a haiku.
  5. Long time listener, first time poster - don't leave a ring, please use a coaster.
  6. This is quite a sexual catchphrase.
  7. In this episode, my guest lays out her three-phase plan for lasting peace between Particle Man and Person Man.
  8. Before we ask ourselves “What’s up, hot dog?”, we must answer the question “What IS hot dog?”
  9. Let me be forthright with you—if you take four rights, it’s the same as just going straight.
  10. Gynecologists are docs who never think outside the box
  11. I don't practice Santeria, because I'm already great at it.
  12. How do you poo the doo-doo that you poo so well
  13. If yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery, today is the taint of human existence
  14. When you're climbing up a ladder And you feel something splatter Onomatopoeia
  15. Who the hell decided to put pictures of delicious food everywhere.
  16. You may be a brahmin but if you don’t shut your mouth you’re about to become a part of a different cast system.
  17. If were gonna do this i wanna keep it respectable. Keep it in the improv comics comunities. There all animals any way so let them loose their souls.
  18. This would make a good horrorr movie actualy. A six foot 5 420 pound goth chick gets murderd by her bullies and her giant ass skeleton hunts them all down and bludgeons them to death then burns the school to ashes. Maybe we could get like the tinyest daintiest actor to play the poor young laddy turned monster. Like nutty proffesor.
  19. Ring and Ringu fans alike, I have to admit; I'm the one who threw that girl down the...
  20. Hey! Quit jammin' on that clam I'm slammin'!
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