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  1. 9 points
    I know this is kinda repeating something I said earlier but I do think the "we're not slaves" line from Stella Star is one of the funniest lines in the movie. Yes, Stella, you kinda are. See you committed multiple crimes and were found guilty by a court of Krangs. As a result you were sentenced to life in a hard labour penal colony. This is the good news bad news situation. Assuming Space prison has similar laws to the United States, once you are a prisoner you are now a ward of the state. This means they can not work you to death. They have to provide food and care for you. If the radiation does burn your skin off like you complain about they have to treat that. Unfortunately they are allowed to subject you to penal labour which as a form of unfree labour does make it "slave labour." You have the right to complain and register complaints but that doesn't mean they have to listen you. However this is your punishment for committing crimes and breaking the law and as a result they are allowed to force you to work for 12 hours. However, if Space law is more like say North Korean law then you probably aren't afforded those rights and as a prisoner in a penal labour camp. In that case, yes you are a slave and they can do what they like with you. I'm sorry if you thought "hard" labour meant just a little light lifting.
  2. 9 points
    For a Star Wars rip off that features prominent bikinis I want to take a moment to remember my favorite ( and possibly only) Star Wars fact I know thanks to Carrie Fisher's fantastic book Wishful Drinking. Apparently George Lucas thinks space is an underwear free zone because "you go to space and you become weightless...But then your body expands??? But your bra doesn't — so you get strangled by your own bra." (This might be my favorite of many amazing parts of Wishful Drinking). Carrie wrote that was how she wanted her obituary to read. Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra. I still think about that line sometimes because it's just so utterly Carrie.
  3. 8 points
    I watched a Friday the 13th documentary where the director of this movie said that the credit card was shown for so long because he wanted to allow time for an audience member to yell out, "Don't leave home without it!" He said that a lot of the jokes in the movie are meant for audience participation.
  4. 8 points
    I cannot express how much having something like The Jane Club could have helped my mother. My mom was a single mother and was also very dedicated to her career. She also had to deal with a nurodivergent child. On her own . I wonder what she could have achieved if she had had a place like The Jane Club where she could go to work and take me along. I remember when she was a in quality auditing for a bloodbanking company/ organization that she would bring me to work with her on the weekends and I would literally wonder the building going into any unlocked room I could find like an absolute feral menace. I realize now as an adult they 100% probably had security cameras and my mom 100% got yelled at. The only thing that makes me feel a bit sad about the Jane Club is from what I know you have to pay to be a member and it looks pretty pricey so it makes me think about mothers like my mom who would have benefited greatly from such a place but could never have been able to afford it. Hopefully in the future they make scholarships or grants available for care givers who are less financially well off.
  5. 8 points
    Are you sick of vampires yet? Too bad, cuz we're watching the movie the BFI called "undoubtedly the only vampire snooker musical in cinema history"...
  6. 7 points
    So, for any one wondering, according to what I could determine through online research, the amount of force it would take to punch straight through a person’s chest and rip out their heart is approximately 50kN (kilonewtons). To put this into perspective, this is about ten times the force exerted by a professional boxer - who average about 5kN per punch - and over twice that of the bite of a Great White Shark (18kN). Furthermore, it would take nearly 1,100 lbs of pressure (far greater than mortal man is capable) to crush a human skull in one’s barehands, and depending on the situation, leverage, and torque, it would take anywhere from 30-200kN to rip a person’s arm from its socket. All this is to say, Jason’s a pretty bad motherfucker. Especially for someone who was, until very recently, a desiccated corpse.
  7. 7 points
  8. 7 points
    Have we discussed that her name is literally Star Star? Stella is the Latin for star. Random fact about me : I have a tattoo on my wrist that says Stella Fulgens which means Star Bright.
  9. 7 points
    Did anyone else notice the turntable turbolift at the beginning of the film? In the pre-title sequence, we see two soldiers get out of the rounded conveyance and walk down a hall of their ship. As they exit, another soldier gets on the “turntable-lift,” it does a quarter turn and the soldier gets off to walk down another hallway. Wouldn’t it just be easier to tear out the “turntable lift” and install a corner in the hallway instead? The torpedoes with people inside remind me of the alien torpedo ships from Star Trek Beyond (another film that drew inspiration from Star Wars). The kit bashing on this film makes the Satellite of Love from MST3K look like 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  10. 6 points
    In the climactic showdown, Tommy and his boulder have rowed out to the middle of the lake and have challenged Jason to a final confrontation. Jason, recognizing that he must either accept this affair of honor or forfeit his rights as a gentleman, is quick to oblige and underwater strides his zombie ass to face his foe. As he breathlessly awaits Jason's arrival, Tommy sets the lake ablaze and scans the water for any ripple of movement. After interminable seconds, a flurry of bubbles break the surface of the flaming lake and Tommy leans over the port side of his vessel and prepares his noose. However, both he and the audience are taken by surprise by Jason when he springs up not from the port side, but from from the starboard side of the boat! This is, of course, a classic and well executed misdirect on Mr. Vorhees' part. However, I can't help but wonder what caused the torrent of bubbles to break the surface of the water in the first place. I mean, he can't possibly be in two places at once. Without any other explanation put forth by the film, I can only assume that from beneath the boat Jason was laying down some strategic, underwater farts in order to distract Tommy and get the drop on him. The full extant of Jason's powers are never truly explored, but I think that it is safe to assume that tactical, supernatural flatulence must be a part of his arsenal.
  11. 6 points
    Early in the movie, there is a scene which shows children sleeping in their beds, each with a book laying on their chest, which presumably is the book they are reading before they fall asleep. The last kid apparently has been reading Jean-Paul Sartre’s 1944 existential play “No Exit.” At first, I thought it’s just a gag (kid reading super-serious literature,) but after some googling the synopsis of the play, I feel it might not be the case. The play goes like this: 2 women and a man found themselves in a room after they died. The room has no window and mirror, only a door which cannot be opened. The three characters all did something terrible during their lifetime. Furthermore, Woman A finds herself to be attracted to Woman B, Woman B is attracted to the man. The man initially is not attracted to either of the 2 women, then later succumbed to the seduction of Woman B. But he is only willing to have sex with her if both women say he’s not a coward; the man was executed for desertion, so he wants people to assure him he’s not a coward. Woman B complies, but Woman A refuses, partly due to jealousy and partly because she’s a sadist. Then the door suddenly opens after the man’s several attempts to open the door, but he refuses to leave the room until he convinces Woman A he’s not a coward. However, Woman A tells him she will never give him the approval he so desires. Also, neither of the women wants to leave the room as well for various reasons. This is when the man realizes they are in hell, and what is torturing them is none other than each other. In Jason Lives, after we see the kid with the Sartre play, the movie cuts to a shot of the hamster cage, with a hamster frantically running a hamster wheel, almost like trapped in a loop. Maybe the movie is saying that Jason and the characters in his movies, especially Tommy, are kind of like the characters in the play, trapped in a metaphorical hell. Jason can never stop killing and avenge himself and his mother, as there will always be horny teenagers. Tommy and characters in Jason-verse will forever be haunted by the unkillable monster that is Jason. Oh, if the plot of “No Exit” sounds familiar, maybe it’s because it serves as one of the inspirations for the sitcom “The Good Place,” in which Jason Mantzoukas is a recurring character.
  12. 6 points
    You wondered who put up a tombstone for Jason Vorhees? The director’s original ending would have answered that. Tom McLoughlin originally intended for the caretaker to live until the end. Then he’d be visited and paid by a man he called “Mr. Vorhees”- Jason’s father!
  13. 6 points
    It turns out the characters in this are inspired by real life snooker players. The green baize vampire is based on Ray "Dracula" Reardon and Jimmy "The Whirlwind" Webb. I don't know how The Whirlwind ties into an American western hero but, I guess so? I couldn't find any information about them wagering their careers or even notable matches against each other. So, I not sure why these two other than they were big figures in snooker in their day.
  14. 6 points
    This may be a controversial stance, while I don't think this was a good movie I don't think I disliked it though. The story is beyond simple and the snooker players are very cartoony, but it just made me think about why aren't their more sports based musicals and how other sports could translate into musicals. Snooker, when not at the highest level, could make for a lot of musical chances as one person sings as the other plays and back and forth. I appreciate the big swing and miss they took and can't hate them for it. I probably won't remember any of the songs, but I like the gumption of those involved and hope they went on to try more unique and new things.
  15. 6 points
    Yeah, I was pretty blown away when he said he didn’t like it. I thought Clue was pretty much universally beloved. I know I quote it all the time.
  16. 6 points
    Holy shit guys... I had that clue VCR game. During the Drop Dead Fred episode I remember noting that Jason had it all wrong with the Clue quote and I'm pretty sure someone on the board pointed it out, so I let it go. The Tim Curry Clue movie is one of my top 10 desert island favorites, so I knew Jason's quote was wrong and I figured he had just gotten it mixed up with Haunted Honeymoon or something. Since there was a lot of love for Clue in our house, my mom bought my brothers and I the VCR game. I never played the game but I watched the dumb video a million times. I remember a lot of images but not many details, like Mr. Green having a business card that just said "Business" and when asked what kind of business he was in he would say something like "None of your business." There was a even a sequel, which we also had. Paul (and the comment submitter) pretty much cracked my brain open today because I had not given it one thought in about 30 years. Childhood memories UNLOCKED. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woJVCOEoVCM
  17. 6 points
    We should introduce her to “Manos: The Hands Of Fate.”
  18. 6 points
  19. 6 points
  20. 6 points
    Hearing that the director and production team were basing this movie off of a Star Wars novelization makes a lot of sense and explains a lot of its crappiness. So much of what makes this movie exhausting to watch comes down to basic editing. As a visual medium, movies need things like establishing shots and travel montages to move the audience from place to place, whereas novels inherently don't. Take, for example, the trial scene, wherein we are standing before the Right Honorable Krang hearing Stella and Akton's hard labor sentence, and then smash-cut to Stella, in the mine, some indeterminate amount of time later, lugging space orbs around on a stretcher with the other slaves. There was no "guards, take her away" moment, no shot of her arriving at the mine, no Shawshank "fresh fish" scene, no nothing. A good movie would show Stella arriving at the prison with other prisoners, an establishing shot of the prison, and then the mine, and then show her working for some length of time before deciding to bust out, but Starcrash just has none of that. It was the same thing with the snow planet, when Stella and Elle get back to the ship to learn that Thor had betrayed them -- the movie doesn't even so much as show the damn ship taking off, leaving them abandoned on the planet. Thor walks off screen, and then smash-cut to Stella laying down in the snow to die ... for all the audience knows, the ship is still right there out of frame. But novels can get away with that kind of thing because it doesn't need to take the time to present the spectacle of the moment. Smash cuts aren't a problem with novels because you can reveal the shift in time along with all the other details that set the scene. In fact, I think this whole movie might work better as a novel: "Stella Star," bellowed Judge Krang,"you are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of hard labor in the galactic acid mines." And with that, court was adjourned. *** Chapter 5 Stella's back and shoulders ached as she and the other slaves lifted the acid orb upon the stretcher and joined the queue for the hole full of dry ice. In this cheaply constructed soundstage that was her prison, time seems to slow to crawl. Had she really been wearing this same bikini every day for the last three months?
  21. 6 points
    Maybe this movie was what Lucille was talking about.
  22. 5 points
    I now work with one British guy and am very close friends with a few more that live here in Japan. I was explaining this movie to them, none of them had heard of it, but most thought it sounded like a ploy to get a typical pub going musical avoiding type of gentlemen interested in musicals.
  23. 5 points
  24. 5 points
    I am glad you reminded me of this because it was one of the funniest things in the movie to me. The ship WAS just right there out of frame. Thor couldn't take off because Akton had sabotaged the ship. But Stella and Elle made no attempt whatsoever to get inside. As soon as Thor said that he had taken over the ship they immediately went to the option of lying in the snow for as far as they knew the next thousand years. It makes me think that it is a known thing in this universe that locking your keys inside your spaceship is pretty much the absolute worst thing that can happen to you.
  25. 5 points
    I'd like to discuss the temperature on the ice planet. As Stella and Elle are about to go to the surface of the planet; Akton tells them to hurry because once the Sun sets the temperature will drop thousands of degrees. THIS IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Let's assume the planet is similar to the climate of Antarctica. Average Temperature on Antarctica ranges from -76 Farenheit (or -60 Celsius/or 213 Kelvin) to 14 Farenheit(or -10 Celsius/or 263 Kelvin). The coldest possible temperature acheivable, anywhere in the universe, also referred to as Absolute Zero, is -459 Farenheit (or -273 Celsius/or 0 Kelvin). Meaning, at -76 Farenheit, it is not physically possible for the temperature to drop more than about 400 degrees on the Farenheit scale. Now, it is possible for temperatures to change by thousands of degrees. Let's say the surface temperature of a given planet is 2,000 Farenheit(or 1093 Celsius/or 1366 Kelvin), it would be possible for the temperature to drop another 2459 degrees (on the Farenheit scale in this instance). I think we can all agree, though, if the surface temperature was 2,000 Farenheit(or 1093 Celsius/or 1366 Kelvin), our heroes would not only be incinerated, but a planet of that temperature would not be covered in ice but would instead resemble Venus (a planet experiencing a runaway greenhouse effect). So, unless they're using an entirely differenct temperature scale (which is not introduced), this movie just doesn't make sense. Just because of that one fact, though. Rest of the movie is on-point!
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