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Wedding season is starting, and who better to advise you on your nuptials than Drew Droege? Matt Besser and Sean Conroy, that's who! We'll help you through every step of the wedding process, from choosing your DJ to finding the right religious leader for you. Do you want to be in a retirement home still pining after your loved one? Do you want to risk your love by being captured by American naval fleet lead by Charlie Sheen? Are you worried that your busy career in law or journalism could take away from your romance? We're here to help you out...or you could just watch Bridesmaids instead.

We end this week with a poem, but one a little different than past poems. This one is considered "tonal poetry" and it is...well, why don't you just listen in and find out!

Listener Julia should be proud. She's inspired yet another set of inspirational posters! Hang in there, Julia!

When we relaunched Earwolf.com, we added a section called Yourcast that would allow podcasters to advertise on our site. For this week's The Wolf Den, we've asked two of our Yourcast users (Jacob Munford from Lobstercast and Cameron Buchholtz from CB Radio) to tell us about their experiences using the service and to teach us about the unique struggles of running a podcast outside of Hollywood. Enjoy, and be sure to peruse Yourcast for what might be your new favorite podcast!

First crushes, dogs, and daughters are up for discussion with - widely considered to be one of the two nicest people in Hollywood* - TV'S ANDY DALY!! Would you look at those dimples? He keeps us laughing and is somehow able to maintain his dignity, even as we try to ruin him with a discussion about cockdocking. ENJOY!(*Listen to find out who the other person is!)

Are ya'll ready to fall in love? For Thanksgiving, Elizabeth and Psychic Andy thought we should give you, our beloved Laimewads, a glimpse inside a love connection - in this case with HARRIS WITTELS, writer for Parks and Recreation and the Sarah Silverman Program! He's adorable. He's hilarious. His cock shot is in Sarah Silverman's book. Enough said. Enjoy!

Constantly overwhelmed by your dog's impending doom? Drew, Bruce, and Andrea can help. Whether you're scared of toddler pageants, applied hydraulics, or scariest of all, Dr. Phil, we're here to love and support you through meditation, talk therapy, and needle drugs. Grow some cock and balls and get over it! And listen to Glitter in the Garbage.

Constantly overwhelmed by your dog's impending doom? Drew, Bruce, and Andrea can help. Whether you're scared of toddler pageants, applied hydraulics, or scariest of all, Dr. Phil, we're here to love and support you through meditation, talk therapy, and needle drugs. Grow some cock and balls and get over it! And listen to Glitter in the Garbage.

Hey guys, let's make a deal: Every Tuesday, indefinitely, we will get together via the magic of podcasting and discuss different philosophic and metaphysical topics. There! We did it! We made a tradition! Or did we? Find out as Tig, Kyle, and David explore the history of traditions, discover the traditions of the animal kingdom, and teach you listeners about the best tradition of all - Knockout Ball!

Double double toil and blisters, this week it gets scary on The Apple Sisters! Candy, Cora, and Seedy are celebrating Halloween in a spooky abandoned mansion. What's the worst that could happen? Something wicked is this way coming and you'll want to hear just what it is on The Apple Sisters Halloween Boosical Spooktacular!

Today on Professor Blastoff we explore immortality. Like Ponce de Leon searching for the Fountain of Youth, Tig, David, and Kyle (via internet magic) search for microscopic nanorobots, rats growing ears, and The Singularity in an attempt to answer the all important question "Do you really want to live forever?" Put your game of Toilet Mack Truck Turbo 2 on pause and journey through time and space with Professor Blastoff and the gang.

One of the coolest things about science is that you can use it to blow things up! Our guest, physicist Robert Ike III, knows all about harnessing atoms and can explain just how particle accelerators, Uranium, and lasers work. Mostly lasers. This episode is primarily about lasers. And gerbils, surprisingly. It's a real blunderbuss of an episode! Am I using that term correctly?

After ten weeks of competition, we're finally ready to declare a winner! First, a few words of thanks: Thank you to all ten of our podcasts competitors, as well as each and every podcast who gave "Project Tippy Toe" a chance. Thank you to all of our talented guest judges, each of whom played an important part in finding Earwolf's next great podcast. Thank you to Frank and Peter, Jeff and Scott, and of course Matt Besser for putting their blood, sweat and tears into this project. And lastly, thank you to each of you who have listened to The Challenge, blogged and tweeted about it, and participated in the forums. Thank you all, and congratulations to our big winner (I'm not going to go and spoil it!).

If you don't know him from UCB's Death by Roo Roo, Hot Sauce, or Chubby Skinny Kids, you will know him soon when ABC's "Happy Endings" premieres this fall! Listen as ADAM PALLY becomes the first guest to make Elizabeth laugh so hard she cries. They also engage in a dick joke competition! Enjoy.

We're just one week into October and already the chart orchard has turned into a spooky Halloween maze! Test your fears as the Billboard Top Dance Singles goblins and weekend box office ghouls wait behind every twist and turn to frighten you. Rob Huebel is here to hold your hand (and play a round of Chart Goose), and if the ghost scratches on his chest are any indication, he's prepared to fight! Are you ready to be transported to the scary world of LMFAO and Killer Elite? Are you prepared to fend off scary strangers at birthday parties and videotape armed gunmen?Do I look pretty?

Listener Glenn, like many of us, is plagued by constant anxiety regarding which public restrooms he should and shouldn't use. The foremost expert in the field, Bob Ducca, is here to help!

The studio is divided! Drew splits his time this week between his friends Willam and Maile who teach us about gender bending, conservative politics, and the dark and scary world of a Grateful Dead concert. Beyond that we have all the usual: Embarrassing has-beens, obnoxious grocery store persona, and self-absorbed councilmen. Now SQUEEZE ME!

We had so much fun with UCB's Charlie Sanders that we had to extend the podcast to 43 minutes! If there are any unfortunate souls out there don't know of him and his unique brand of dry humor yet, you certainly will soon. Or God help us. Check it.

It is time for another product review and this one is a real doozy. Is the Over Door HomeCervicalNeck Traction Kid by Spineright spine-right for you? Listen in and hopefully you can avoid some of Bob's mistakes.

With Season One of The Earwolf Challenge under our belt, we're ready to go back and see what worked, what didn't, and how we can make Season Two even better. This serves as both an episode of The Wolf Den and The Earwolf Challenge as Jeff Ullrich, Frank Capello, and Matt Besser talk to three of our vocal forum participants to find out how we screwed up and what we did right. If we left anything out, be sure to let us know in the forums!

Tig, Kyle, and David are all healthy adults, but why? Was it because they avoided fast food as kids, because they went around catching lizards in the desert, or was it something genetic? Our guest this week is Mo Hassanein, a PHD student who serves as our resident expert on childhood obesity. Learn about fat distribution, the difference between sucrose and fructose, and why it is important to keep kids healthy from a young age. And yes, there will be riddles. Enjoy!

Okay guys, I think we need to have a meeting. First of all, you need to work on your first date etiquette. I mean, it's a date not an asshole party! Secondly, you can't use your sibling's fame to try to propel your own career. I don't want to see that! Lastly, and this is most important, you need to get off your butt and listen to this episode of Glitter in the Garbage with Drew, Dante, and Rebekah! Sheesh, was that so hard? Meeting adjourned!

Sure, most podcast listeners are white, American males, but that doesn't mean that we lack cultural diversity as an industry. Today Bob responds to a listener letter regarding some of the geographically and culturally specific ailments and illnesses that can and will afflict many of us. Thanks for your letter Sam!

There is a lot you don't know about Tim Heidecker. You probably don't know about his relationship with rock legends Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey. You probably don't know about his scary side gig in the world of the killer elite. You probably don't know about his rad new iPhone app or what he ate for breakfast. Listen to Who Charted? and you'll learn a few things: Not only about the Billbord Heatseeker Albums or the weekend box office, but about Allentown, Heidecker & Wood, and Bob Odenkirk. Oh Mary!

After five weeks of scary pirates, fierce competitors, mysterious natives, pervy judges, and more, it's time to grab a cocktail and enjoy the thrilling conclusion of our six week Boat Queen adventure. Will they learn how to speak to the natives? Can they get off this scary island? How will the girls ever win their dearly desired crown? Find out this week on The Apple Sisters!