People of Earth, I present to you for your consideration....
The Jewel of the Nile!!!!
The year was 1985, and after the success of "Romancing the Stone" who could have guessed how far off the mark this star studded picture could hit. Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito all reprise their roles from the original in this terrible movie about an author who gets suckered into writing lies for an evil middle eastern Sheik/Dictator who has "stolen" the Jewel of the Nile from his people.
Can these white people save the day for the apparently inept middle easterners?
Of course, because 80's racism.
Are there elaborate traps that seem to be put there as reference to something the audience has no prior knowledge of?
Yup.
Do these traps involve Rats?
Oh Yeah!
And Acid?
You know they do!!!
But wait I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's let Danny Devito tell us about the picture...
Wait, did he just brake the fourth way?
You're god damn right he did.
Oh and did I tell you that the whole thing culminates at what appears to be the scene from Apples 1984 commercial but set in the desert? Well now I have. You Can't Unknow That!
It's 107 mins of all out bonkers! Nothing makes sense and I don't care.
Hang on hang on, who directed this piece of -
Lewis Teague!
The Director of "Navy Seals"?
The SAME!
Do I have any reason NOT to watch this movie?
Only if you hate America and Fun.
What if I chose not to watch this movie?
God will send someone to sit behind you at every movie talking on their phone. You're at home? TOO BAD! Random strangers will now loudly talk on their phones behind you.
That sounds like hell.
Then Shut Up and Watch Dumb Dumb!
