Just Add Pepper

To be honest, I would be happiest if everyone left the forums because I'm a big mean curmudgeon and I want the forums to just be me posting "good episode, I laughed a lot" once a week.

u guys remember the time that a tibetan monk banned himself in the middle of the street to protest the Vietnam war? why? oh, no reason, i just thought it would make a badass cd cover

Ban JeffreyParties

*checks into forums for the week* Oh, SteveH is plagiarizing old blog articles? Ok fuck this. *closes window* *but not before making a snarky post, baby *

yo i'm gonna be straight up here, zero bits, like legit 100% on my George-Washington-cherry-tree grind right here, this episode was friggin dope as hell edit: also hi, check out this week's podcastsarewonderful.com if you'd like to hear me doing jokes and generally being a big ol goofus

Not sure what round we're on, but I'd like to draft Vaping Hard as Fuck and Blowing Huge Fuckin Clouds EDIT: Not sure if I get an extra pick or not for missing a round, but if I do, I'd also like to draft Actually Being the Smartest Kid in Class But Not Doing Any Work Cause Like, Who Cares About The Scarlet Letter It's Boring and Lame Why Can't We Read Cool Stuff Like Watchmen, Which is Actually a Really Smart, Good Book, Even Though It's a Comic, I Think We Should Read That Instead

Haven't listened to the episode yet, but I did watch Sunday's episode of Vice Principals that Hayes was a credited writer on, and it was very good. Sean and Hayes are such modest little good boys that they never plug their own work, so you guys should check it out if you haven't already. There's a great scene where Danny McBride looks at the camera and goes "whaddup whaddup hm yes speak on that ooh no too scary for me, hmm yes frankingsteins" and I turned to my girlfriend* and said "I just KNOW Hayes wrote that line, I got a feeling about it" *I don't have a girlfriend. Sorry I lied, I thought it would make the story more relatable. I just wanted you all to like me.

I'd like to draft Dick Jokes, please. I think this will be a big year for them, with Sausage Party in theaters.

Cool. Welcome back from army. You could always consider going AWOL (absent with official leave) as well. I hear beaches are nice and leggy year round.

keeboco are you really in the army or are you stealing valor u son of a bitch

If anyone was wondering, Jughead's "crown" is actually a whoopee cap, which is a type of hat that young men used to wear which was made by taking a fedora and slicing it up, then flipping the brim upwards. Sometimes kids would put buttons on the front. Jughead at one point put on a unique pin on his hat which attracted many girls to him, so he had to hide it to avoid the crowd of girls rushing1. This was due in part to the fact that Jughead Jones himself is asexual2, and does not show interest in dating or kissing girls. 1; Jughead's hat on wikipedia 2; Confirmation of Jughead Jones' asexuality

Hi Sean, hope your birthday is really...good (a little inside joke that that only me and my very close friend Sean will understand)

i don't know about the rest of you guys, but personally i've got such a palpable, raw sexual energy, that when i was 16 my dad sat me down and asked me to explain the birds and the bees to him. afterwards, he gave it to his wife* so good, he told me, she was HOWL-ing all night. *his second wife, my step-mom, don't be gross, guys. my birth-mother is a saint.** **by which i mean, she died*** ***not really, she's still alive. was it worth it to kill off my mom for a dumb joke, i don't know**** ****honestly, i find myself wondering if anything i do is worthwhile anymore. and i guess if i really look into myself, like way way deep down, you could maybe even say that this almost comical amount of really really great sex that i'm having, it's almost like the only hole i can't fill is the one deep down inside of me, you know? fuck, man. it hurts to think about, but it really might be true.***** *****for real though guys, i do have A LOT of just mind-blowingly good sex. Like, Sting calls me up for tips.

lol, u guys fuck good? me too haha

I know I'm gonna lose a lot of likes for posting this, but...very good episode.

Dan Engler? More like Ban Engler. (Other mods, please ban him)

Thanks

Just listened, very funny episode. Ha ha, you idiots. I haven't even listened yet. I can't BELIEVE how hard I just owned you all.

I've decided to skip this episode and save it until I'm 70 years old so I can have one final, fresh 'book to listen to before I die. So please no spoilers in this thread.

Yes. I actually feel very safe around honlads. And by that I mean that I would feel safe if he was by my side in a vicious bar fight because that man is DANGEROUS

Sorry guys I don't feel safe posting on this forum while honloads is still here.

I think the movie was Slither. Sorry, no jokes anymore. Those are reserved for secret forum.

Hi new friends, No doubt you're here because you heard Hayes and Sean on Comedy Bang Bang today and you want to come sit at the cool kids table. And we're glad to have you! We're a pretty close community over here, and we love making little jokes with each other and generally spreading good vibes like a Dave Matthews Band concert, except instead of a beach ball it's gags and riffs and puns and good friendship. Hollywood Handbook fans tend to be a very specific niche of comedy nerds, and so if you like making jokes, making funny pictures, or making your own podcast (a few forum members have podcasts that are very funny), this is a good place for you. I've spoken with the admins, and while we SHOULD have the bandwidth to support your posts, we will NOT have the bandwidth or RAM to support 19 threads of "where is popcorn gallery posts?" or "anyone else think frankenstein is a scary rudeboy?". So I want to help you guys out. For starters, here is a forum guide by our very own Joe McGurl: https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing And then, a few FAQS: 1. I made a thread and nobody is responding, why is that? There's no great reason for this, but the bulk of our conversations stay within the weekly episode threads. Many moons ago, when it was The Reality Show Show, Hayes and Sean would implore the audience to post on their forums, saying that they really needed a "HOT" status on the weekly thread in order for Earwolf to keep them on the air. Maybe it grew out of that. 2. Reality Show Show, what's that? It's a very funny podcast hosted by the same people as Hollywood Handbook. The episodes are still available through Earwolf, and unless that Howl paywall ever goes up, you can listen to them any time. 3. Where do I post Popcorn Gallery questions? Hayes or Sean (screen names Hayzie Bone and Clem Dawg) will pop into the weekly thread sometimes and ask for questions. They usually record later in the week, and I've seen question requests go up as late as 9pm EST. It's not every week, but it is some weeks, so keep an eye out for that. I'm sure there are more things I could answer, but hopefully this steers you guys in the right direction. Much love, -J.P.

You might see "hayzie bone" (Hayes) or "clem dawg" (Sean) make a post like "hey guys need questions for Bun Aztec" and it's on you to take that name, write it on a whiteboard, and really puzzle over it to figure out that it is in fact Ben Aflac, the car insurance duck, who will be the guest on next week's show. PS: Bear and I are very friendly, but be warned there are some rough-and-tumble cats around here who would burn you HARD for starting a new thread. Typically, we keep all our discussions within the weekly episode thread. C u th8re, hunib8r