Just Add Pepper

Great 69th post.

Brandon, What's the most important part of advertising? Stephanie, What's the best way to become a movie star?

Ouchy squealy, bfd. Let me know when you meet Shaq in a Hooters and then we'll talk.

Ran went off to find an Indian snake charmer, but accidentally navigated to North America instead. Happy Columbus day guys!

I had a similar experience: I guess he was listening to his episode of WTF with Marc Maron and decided to check out some of the other fine content offered exclusively on Howl premium.

Do you guys ever wonder how much heat the Dinkman is packing? I do.

Glad to see a podcast that finally speaks for people like me, just busting nuts and not giving fucks.

JP/JM is running six feet under with his woes

How 'bout a pic of that starbucks running. Like, for real, how'd you make it do that ha ha. I've heard of running water, but running starbucks? Jeez louise eatin peas in two trees, somebody check the locks on the nearest looney bin cause you are MENTAL, haha. But seriously though, could you fuckin imagine? Ha ha.

My dating profile is just a picture of me with a deli salami poking out of the fly of my pants and the caption says "if this turns u on omg i can't believe how shallow u are keep moving, but if you're a real woman u can feel free to get to know the biggest salami of all...my mind"

Could you please edit this and add the word "step" every time you say "brother" or "sister"? I mean I can do it myself in my head and it sort of makes it easier to j.o. to but when I'm in the moment and the guy is like "you feel so good, sis" I just have this sudden moment of oh god I'm a terrible person and the light is high and my screen is dim and I catch my own reflection in the screen among the expanse of flesh shining with nuru jelly and I see with shocking clarity my own face, my dead animalistic eyes pupils narrowed in the hunt for pleasure and thinking of nothing and no one else and I realize that all I am is a beast put on this world to eat and fuck as much as possible and here I am drinking coke zeroes and mating with a wad of napkins as I read about celebrity nip slips and the brother and sister are now fucking on top of of a pile of old family photo albums and she rolls over and a single polaroid is stuck to her back and it's the two of them at the beach together ages 7 and 9 and the sandcastle that they "built" but really their dad built while they played in the water and used that new skimboard for all of 2 minutes before deciding it was too hard and they kept falling. Step I say to myself, a mantra to the gods of onanism, step step step they are step-brother and step sister step step I am not a pervert step step I am a good person step step... Many years of marital bliss to Sean and Grace!

Guys I really want to participate in this discussion but I haven't listened to this episode yet. Sorry, I don't know if it's good or bad, so right now it exists in a state of being both things at once for me. Haha if you don't get that reference you're not a real nerd go take a college class in astrophysics you stupid Abercrombie model lughead moron jock jerk loser get out of here seriously get out of my face I may not be a muslim kid but I'll clock you right in the face you hear me. Anyway, I know I've been talking a lot about living off the grid and moving into the Alaskan wilderness lately so I just wanted to post this to allay all of your worst worries and fears YES MOM I'M STILL ALIVE I'll get back to you guys once I finally listen. xoxopep

haha dude, I love that joke! that's why I bought the t-shirt, so I can laugh and laugh and laugh

guys this 100 ep is 2 spooky looks like a coupla ghosty eyes googling at you and he's holdin a knife in his right hand like gonna stab u watch out lol oooOOOOoooo how does a ghost laugh in chat? lo000OOOoooOOoo00OOol. Speaking of Google, really cool font in your story Jakal, way to pay homage to Google's new comic sans logo (tim wtf?) Anyway, all jokes aside (cause seriously I could go on all night - just ask your mother heyoooo) congrats on the hundred episodes Hayes and Sean really didn't think you could do it, which is kind of embarassing cause I just started listening like 5 episodes ago. Real egg on my face. Keep up the great work.

If you ever wanna holler at Mike Jones you can hit him up at (281) 330-8004

Hey Jesse, Where's the rest of your band, you know, The Rippers? Ha HA.

Jesse, big fan, has your position as the host of Bullseye made you any better at darts? Cause I think it would be a total baller move if you just threw a dart over your shoulder, took a swig of whiskey, and said "you already know where that one landed, baby, they don't call me Mr. Bullseye for nothing"

My favorite club song? Oh hot damn, this is my jelly. PS: Congrats on 690 posts. the second funniest number imho

Great ref to the Andy Daly episode of Never Not Funny where Andy talks about buying all his clothes from J Crew at The Grove. Kind of a deep cut, but I dig it man. Really funny stuff.

Terrible brand name. Makes me think of an uncircumsized penis. But then, what doesn't?

Origin of brand name[edit] Mattus invented the "Danish-sounding" "Häagen-Dazs" as a tribute to Denmark's exemplary treatment of its Jews during theSecond World War,[4] and included an outline map of Denmark on early labels. The name is not Danish, which has neither anumlaut nor a digraph zs, nor did the name have any meaning in any language before its creation.[5] Mattus felt that Denmark was known for its dairy products and had a positive image in the United States.[6] His daughter Doris Hurley reported in the 1999 PBSdocumentary An Ice Cream Show that her father sat at the kitchen table for hours saying nonsensical words until he came up with a combination he liked. The reason he chose this method was so that the name would be unique and original.[7] Haagen Dasz is a filthy fraud, DP, you deserve better. This would be like me posting a picture making out with a blooming onion. Would it be an erotic rollercoaster? Yeah, of course. Would it also taste good? Slather some sauce on that baby, and you betcha. But would it be true, would it be right? No. Absolutely not.

Hi Paul, It's a well-known fact that you were born in the state of Iowa, home of the famous metal band Slipknot. It's a lesser known fact that you also were a member of Slipknot for a brief period during high school. What do you think your career would be like today if you hadn't left the band due to creative differences during sophomore year?

No. It's fine. More than fine. Solidly good enough. Or whatever.

According to Wikipedia one of the recurring characters on Cochran's show The Miller's Tale was played by an obscure no-name actor called Sean Hayes*. I'm really disappointed that they didn't get into this golden nugget of comedy. I mean, it's both of their names! The hosts of the show! Y'know, there's Sean and Hayes, and then get this, this guy's name, is both of those names? Honestly I could riff on this for a book the length of Moby Dick, or even longer, the length of my dick (don't steal this joke please), but I won't because of my chronic 420 arthritis makes it hard to riff that long. Anyway, pretty good ep, but I can't help but feel like I watched Columbus sail right past America, thinking of the comedic oil that could have spurted from this deep, rich premise. Bye. *Maybe they talked about this on the last episode, but I don't believe that any one man or company can "own" comedy, because comedy is a free-flowing beautiful, wild and powerful thing like a stallion running along a beach, and so I refuse to get a Howl subscription to find out.

Scott, Thanks for taking the time to talk to the fans. A lot of us are pretty emotional about all of this, and it means a lot to have our comedy hero listening to our concerns, even if they can't all be solved. I for one have a lot of emotions today. My voice is starting to change, and my body is going through a whole bunch of changes. The boys at school that I used to think were yucky and gross, I look at them and I feel...something different. I can't put my finger on what it is, but I sort of want to just touch their butts all day and never stop. Like Tony Scatino, he used to always call me a little piggy, but now he just kind of stares at my chest in class with this weird look on his face. Such a creep! But I kind of like it...Then, something happened in my underwear today that was so gross, I won't even post about it here. My mom says it's normal, and it happens to all young girls, but to me it's so scary and new and I just don't feel like I'm ready for all of it. God, I have to get my picture taken for the yearbook next week, and I've got this HUGE pimple right in between my eyebrows. I'm gonna look like an Indian girl! And that's not racist, they really do have those little dots. Anyway, I've got some emotions about this Howl thing as well, but it's been pretty well covered, so I won't waste your time. Luv ya, j.p.