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Just Add Pepper

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Posts posted by Just Add Pepper

  2. Posted

    (Read by Morgan Freeman over panning shots of buttermilk sauce dripping from a basketful of glistening fried chicken wings on a wood-grain tabletop)

     

    Dearest Melinda,

     

    Your kindly words remain in my thoughts as I sup upon this dish of chicken wings with bleu cheese. It is the vision of your eyes that keeps my mortal strength intact while I bite and chomp through the various sinews, while I suck the meat from the bones and gnaw the last bits of flesh from the knuckly bits. The newsboy says that soon this dinner will be over, and our lives reunited once-a-more. In the meantime, a 12-year old fellow has kept me company. He reminds me of myself from a younger, more innocent time before this piece of chicken was split in twain.

     

    Yours fauthfully, Shaq

    • Like 8

  5. Posted

    Somewhat related story, I went into a guitar shop the other day and asked if they had this goop you put on the nut of your guitar to help the strings stay in tune.

     

    "That stuff doesn't work. We don't have it in stock."

    "Oh, really? I was reading online, and there's a ton of people who swear-"

    "And there's a ton of people who swear 9/11 was an inside job! There's all kinds of theories on the internet"

     

    So the moral of the story is, believing an overwhelmingly popular opinion on how to keep your guitar strings in tune aligns you with 9/11 conspiracy theorists.

    • Like 11

  11. Posted

    I used the advice of this show when I was taking my daily faceplant into the old lady's canal, she said it was better than usual, slimed like the end of Ghostbusters. I told her if she loved Neil Campbell so much, why doesn't she fucking marry him that bitch. So then she went and married Neil Campbell and it hurt a lot but slowly, day by day I got over my feelings and it was ok until one day she sent me a message on Facebook and just seeing that name and that little picture of her was like a fucking knife in my heart, and why is she sending me anything oh she wants to catch up and see how I'm doing I'm in shambles, woman. Shambles!

     

    Pretty good episode.

    • Like 6

  15. Posted

    Hey guys, I think I'm finally drunk enough for one of you cool guys' type of drunk post on the HH forum. I just wanna say, y'know, well, I've been thinking long and hard about what I wanna say, and I've decided "Fucking Jews... the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?.

     

     

    PS: I learned while making this post that if you go onto Mel Gibson's wikipedia and CTRL+F "jew", you have to scroll through SIX occurences of the word "jew" to find this relevant quote.

    • Like 4

  17. Posted

    ween songs i need to hear every so often.

     

    Great songs.

     

    I guess the Ween era I had in mind was Pure Guava era where all the guitars always had that out-of-phase sound to them.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIEj9zEt_cs

     

    Thank you FaceLikeThunder, for inadvertently giving me a reason to go back and listen to Ween songs. I haven't kicked out their jams in a while.

     

    (sorry don't know how to embed, I'm too busy doing cool jock stuff)

    • Like 3

  18. Posted

    Celebrate Mem Day with Nick Swardson as tells us all about what it’s like touring in the bus that Alice Cooper, the groundbreaking topics he covers in his new stand-up special “Taste It,” and life on the West side of LA. Then, Bernie Sanders, junior U.S. Senator from Vermont, stops by to talk about economic justice and the changes that will occur in America if he were elected to be President. Later, personal productivity expert Jacob Cloudy arrives to offer everyone tips on how to maximize their day to day activities. Plus, Bernie shows off his filibuster skills as Would You Rather returns!

     

    The INFAMOUS mem day blurb

    • Like 4

  19. Posted

    Hey guys!

     

    The fact that you exist is BLOWIN MY MIND MAAAAAN

     

    I thought the plugs theme sounded like early Ween doing Tom Waits.

     

    Also, I recently tried to turn some of my friends onto podcasts, cause they were watching the CBB TV show, and I was like "hey, you guys should check it out, there's a whole weird world of this stuff"

     

    My friend said "oh yeah, podcasts. What's that one, about the murder? Someone was telling me about that"

     

    "Serial, yeah, that's an NPR thing. I've heard it's really good. But I'm really into these comedy ones, like Comedy Bang Bang, then there's this weird spin-off podcast with Adam Scott where they only talk about U2, but they never really talk about U2, then there's an entire podcast of the guy who plays Dalton Wilcox"

     

    "Hm, yeah, that sounds interesting, I'll have to check that out"

     

    A couple of days later, my friend says "Hey man, just want you to know that I went and downloaded Serial, and it's fucking GOOD. Thanks for that."

     

    That's the story of how I accidentally got my friend to listen to Serial.

    • Like 14
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