Servo Academy

"Fucking A one, sunshine! It never occured to me that it wasnt called Avengers Assemble outwith the UK even though I know its a reasonably common practice." I wouldn't say it's due to this movie, but rather the show which is well-regarded on both sides of the Atlantic, but more of an aficianado thing over here so even if people didn't know the Marvel comics they mostly wouldn't think "what, Steed and Peel?" but they probably thought maybe they oughta differentiate a bit for the UK audience.

The imagery wasn't any more plausible in 1995 than it had been in "Weird Science". Being such geeks shouldn't they have referenced "Superman III" without waiting for Office Space to do it? One fleeting Star Wars reference? I really don't remember bondage pants being a thing when I was in college. jnco's sure, but not that nuttiness they had on. Also, I can't believe Jason didn't point out the mix tape of ZUKES! (though I guess he might not want to be associated with vomit)

See? I THOUGHT that was the number! I just thought my Nikon Eyez had failed me.

That English is Fuller than Full! Lovely.

Isn't the Beta guy just saying he's gay? Is it just me?

In the words of Crow T. Robot--NOT an actor

That's the one. I wanted to yell at my computer "20 Minute Workout, dammit!!"

"I don't forgive anyone for shitting on California!" And that's exactly why I do shit on California.

Kinda lazy for Barty to just re-use his Figment voice.

Goddammit, Larry!

And I watched "Hercules In New York" gladly! But no...even the time didn't seem worth it, as well as what I'd have to spend on the booze.

"Riding With Death" was so influential!

It's like the second rescue ship in Aliens. You know, except they're apparently about fifty miles off the coast of California.

It's a SECRET that they're genetically modified sharks? How did they think they were different? I figured the "Harvard Protocol" stuff meant they hadn't modified human genes, because these are clearly modified sharks, there's been three generations of huge modified sharks WHOA, you did WHAT?!?! Thomas Jane's criminal record has nothing to do with anything going on. It's gonna attract bad publicity? What, by Monday? She's got two days to cure Alzheimer's, it's NOT going to be an issue. It's *aggressively* stupid. I thought it was just *kinda* stupid so I'd never watched it. Oh no, they're going large here. Beautiful.

At first I was like "Oh, that old thing?" But I've never watched it. And then....."as a side effect". As a SIDE EFFECT?!? That's what you DID! It's the EFFECT! Oh shit, that's what the movie's about??? Now I'm excited.

Yeah, they were playing the movie. I doubled over giggling picturing it and hoping they had a red backlight.

Wasting all that Popov.

Oh I just meant that it's implied you're using a boat to be a safe distance from dry land. But that's logic and this is......Safe Haven.

I think the bike got abandoned, I know the canoe did. Does Mrs. Ghost send them home? "'s'alright, I got a ghost'll come pick it up." "Why are you so late?" "It was raining." "You were ten minutes away!" Why did they bother getting in a boat to set off the fireworks? They were ten feet from the dock (if you think about it, Alex burned his own place down). Did you notice the gas pump foreshadowing when Lexie vaguely mentions police? "Hey everybody, Lasse here--just want you know there's a gas pump adjacent to the store. I'll see you all in a bit."

Or the magic of it. "You gonna PAINT over that possum hole, Katie?" I asked. Apparently she did. But Alex broke the enchantment and the hole reopened. WHERE CAN SHE GO FROM ATLANTA???

"Cherry Point! HUSH HUSH!" They're On The Water--how the hell far away is the beach? Do they not like their own part of the shoreline?

And it took me much longer than that to watch it, because I kept pausing it in disbelief, the third or fourth instance of which was "1:55?!?"

It's "Rattle And Hum"

"Do you know this woman?" "Yeah, you live across the street from me. What are you, drunk?" Where can she go from Atlanta? ANYWHERE! If the guy told him there's an airport here too it would've blown his mind. "Wait...I'm in a Nicholas Sparks movie, she's in North Carolina. Phew, that was easy." Until the end I got progressively more irritated with Smulders' character because she was so unnecessary because she was so underwritten. But everything was underwritten. Actually, it just wasn't written at all. Also "this isn't the way to win her back, champ! Say it with flowers!" Shouldn't he have been arrested and not just suspended? Has no one noticed he hasn't been doing his job for....I dunno, two weeks? (this movie probably takes place within about two weeks, let's be honest. She was able to rent a mysteriously furnished house with zero deposit, credit check, legal identification--everything in this universe is very quick.) Is he even really a detective? I think he's like when Kramer pretended to work at that office. "Who's that guy that keeps hanging around here making fake wanted posters?" The phone book says "911" in BIG RED LETTERS, and she dials two other numbers, the first of which is four digits. Is she calling Lexie on the upstairs office extension? "This drunk sweaty freak tried to convince he was a detective and that he's looking for Katie. I bluffed him but I think he's really dangerous so I thought I should let you know, in case he comes back later and tries to kill all of us." Who decided this movie needed 2.35? Sparks? "I want my Carolina in Cinemascope. In fact I DEMAND it, Lasse!" I don't get angry about entertainment because I can just IGNORE the stuff I don't want to watch or listen to This movie is proof why that's a good, healthy way to live, because it made me SO mad. "my sole motivating factor being the need to discuss this HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE MOVIE." EXACTLY