Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

Houston

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    570

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    3

Posts posted by Houston

  1. Posted

     

    It's spelled "MD 20/20" and it's not just for the homeless or college students anymore.

     

    stepped their game up and have been producing some below average to minimally toxic fortified wine.

     

    a "Mad Doug" that doesn't fit your obviously intellectual and diverse palate.

     

    experience this gas station ambrosia, as it is truly something that you won't regret maybe.

     

    serious props on the phrasing in this post.

     

    MD 20/20 was my first introduction to the fascinating world of alcohol. It satisfied my curiosity for more than a decade as my this particular batch of 'gas station ambrosia' had notes of gasoline, koolaid, and a rustic air of sadness that lingered on the tongue. Thanks for the memories!

    • Like 5

  4. Posted

    You guys didn't get to hear my sweet voice, but I was able to print off the transcript from my NSA files. h/t TT for the files.

     

    Sean: Hi

     

    Hayes: Houston, Hang on.

     

    Houston: Hello.

     

    Sean: We have a problem

     

    Hayes: Hang on Houston, Hang on Houston.

     

    Houston: I can hear you now. (killer verizon reference cuz I have att.)

     

    Sean: Houston we have a problems.

     

    Houston: Wow, never heard that joke before. Points for originality.

     

    Hayes: Okay.

     

    Sean: It’s a shame we didn’t get Houston.

     

    Cody: It’s computer not me.

     

    Houston: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME CODY! DON’T BLAME THIS SHIT ON TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. WE ARE FEUDING NOW!

     

    Sean: We got to bail on Houston.

     

    (I was all like)

     

    BSDsIBb.gif?1

    • Like 17

  5. Posted

     

    Check ur inbox ;)

     

    NOTE: This is a satire. I think it is DISGUSTING and GROSS when men send unsolicited dick pictures to people on message boards.

     

    FOLLOW-UP NOTE: However, I am unflinching in my realistic portrayal of the problem, so...check ur inbox ;)

     

    When someone says "I was harassed online" and "all men are bastards who just want you to see their dicks" it can ring a bit empty. I mean, I'm not saying that I don't believe them, but it's hard to take on another person's offense when you didn't experience it yourself. That said, seeing Casey's kibbles and bits at 1280x1160 on a retina screen.... that can change a man. I now have an insight into what it might be like to be optically violated online. It's probably not good to spam your dick to virtual strangers. Quantity interactions do not make up for quality ones. Casey, I feel like I learned something about how to engage with others online, thank you! I feel like I am more empathetic to others experiences now. Honestly, I feel a lot of things. So many new stirrings inside me. Casey, check your inbox for a reply. :wub:

    • Like 9

  6. Posted

    Steve I think your intellectual curiosity is wonderful and should be encouraged. I am a man of science myself, and also a former anatomy instructor, so I am happy to help you out. Here's a scientific illustration of a capybara's penis:

     

    xhxvsJb.png

     

    Spunky,

     

    So the holiday season is coming around and my family are all big IFLScience types so I think they'd really get into dick science art. Do you do commissioned work? PM me.

    • Like 13

  8. Posted

    Here are two of the rodents I see sometimes out in the marshes. Can you guess what they are? Here's a hint, neither of them is remotely as cute as any of the rodents you've posted. Despite the size difference, they are pretty ecologically similar. I find their skeletons all the time, either in alligator nests or following hurricanes because they drown all over the place. The nail clippers are a size reference for you, and also a reminder to me that I need to clip my nails. Shit, and a reminder to YOU to clip YOUR nails.

     

    A1f2afI.jpg?1

     

    Edit: Too scary, also mouse skellington.

     

    Edit-edit: Neither of these is a mouse skull, I just wanted to be the first to make such a funny joke. Sorry, couldn't pass it up!

     

    Muskrat or Nutrea (sp?) we had those in Texas.

    • Like 8

  9. Posted

     

    I'm not sure why, but this sentence immediately triggered a reaction of pure, profound sadness in me.

     

    Probably because I'll bet you never got to meet one of those critters and the thought of a small boy hugging a cold, flat image of a cute little critter and never getting to meet the real thing is heart-breaking.

     

    Please tell me you got to hug a real one.

     

    Nope. They are Australian I think, so unless Dairy Pillows or Devscoots can get me the hook up it's an unrequited love.

    • Like 10

  10. Posted

    you know what? i really like elephant shrews.

    there.

    i said it.

    does anyone else have opinions on elephant shrews?

    i think that would be a good discussion to have!

    they're very small and have odd noses? yes, those ones!

    opinions? anyone have opinions on this

    please?

    ok cool

     

    btw pcast ep of hh v funny v good

    edit: this is what they look like, what a lovely creature!

    elephant_shrew.jpg

     

    Danny, I can't get behind your shrew. I'm team rabbit eared bandicoot. Apparently I used to hug a picture of one every night when I was a wee baby.

     

    2afqLgy.jpg?1

    • Like 14

  11. Posted

    It's good to know that this group is full of young, progressive, and socially conscious people just trying to make sense out this crazy mixed up world we live in. I would contribute more but I have a wedding to plan and I don't want to ruin my chances of going to boner town on my wedding night. Rose always holds grudges and I'm pretty sure she's still mad that I don't give her rope kong toys anymore. ta ta

     

    I can see your wedding registry at Petco, but I just wanted to be sure that you didn't already have the match plate/bowl set.

    • Like 8

  12. Posted

    Wrong! I'm a hardcore TrendHead who has listened to almost every episode of TWB (and one episode twice by accident), so I know what podcasts is. This "Hollywood Handbook", on the other hand, didn't even have a hoedown at the end, so I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify?

     

    Dan. I don't know you and I hate to be THAT GUY who recycles HH jokes into everyday life, but, uh, EHHH WRONG! Just because you didn't get the hoedown invite doesn't mean it didn't happen. Chillax bro.

     

    yyJ8zEf.jpg?1

    • Like 11

  13. Posted

    I'd like to give a big thanks to Engineer Cody for turning the mics on early so we could hear Sean explain to Steffi how the call-in system worked, and Hayes doing a Dr Evil impression. What a special Third Day of Thanksgiving treat.

     

    Also, I've got 99 problems but knowing the Earwolf wi-fi password isn't one.

     

    You'd think that all that extra time turning on mikes he'd know how to take a call. You know, like he did multiple times and the shit the bed on one caller? I mean, it's fine. No big deal, right? It could happen to anyone. #likeanelephant

    • Like 6

  16. Posted

    Sean and Hayes,

     

    I really respect your content creation. I really am sorry that your experience with Howl has been foul. I worked really hard to get my folks to drive my car to earwolf filled with my clothes and pets. After hours of tense negotiations it looks like it will not be possible for my mommies and daddies to drive my car though as my dad's a real stiff.

     

    Fe4VD1A.jpg?1

     

    Also, I ate an apple. It was good. Opal I believe. From Washington where they know what apples should taste like.

    • Like 20

  17. Posted

    Saying a song is Darude Sandstorm. Ummm, Houston, we have a problem, that's usually not the song because I check.

     

    Holands, this is Houston actual. We read you loud and clear.

     

    Edit: it's been brought to our attention that Holands is in fact, not spelled Holands, but HONLADS. We've directed communication to the right people to amend this transgression and promise to do better in the future. We here at Houston are big fans of mugs and most things that can be put inside of them. Not all things, because some people have disturbed imaginations. Godspeed Honlands.

     

    Edit: I'm not drunk, but it's possible I should be.

    • Like 13

  24. Posted

    pretty not cool with Houston being a big bully and mad at Wheezey cuz now our big day of going around impersonating honlads is ruined.

     

    That torch can get up to 500,000 BTUs and I've got about 1/4 tank of propane. What d'ya got?

     

    Souprman? Might take 600,000 BTUs though. Only one way to find out.

     

    Aside - why do you have a blow torch and where can you get one?

    • Like 4
×