babyoilbandit

Just came to say this exact same thing. I've seen The Room twice now and yet I couldn't make it through 3 minutes of this crap, it's just so obnoxious that I refused to waste my time watching it for whatever comedy value it may have, what an odd choice of film, oh well hopefully the episode is a good listen

I was wracking my brains to come up with an alternative title and I've got it. Small B.L.A.R.T. Maul Cop The B.L.A.R.T. Means Bonkers Laser Attack Robot Teens Either that or Shopping Maul

Something just occurred to me, I think it was Jason that pointed out that the bad guys look smooth as fuck when they travel back in time but JCVD always ends up stumbling into the past on a highway or in the middle of the ocean or whatever - the man they execute didn't just end up somewhere in New York City, he ended up in the middle of the air 20 storeys up. So this makes me conclude that the tech guys are just fucking with JCVD when they send him back, they tell him they can't do anything about it that's just the way you time travel - "yeah sorry Max Walker we couldn't send you back to somewhere safe you totally accidentally travelled back in time and appeared in a sewer outlet pipe. What are the odds right(?)"

So in the future (our past, or the alternative 2004) the US constitution allows cruel and unusual punishment? They sentence the timecriminal that was doing the stock thing in the late 1920s to a death sentence, no ordinary death sentence though, they send this man back to die by massive bodily trauma falling from a great height. If you're going to sentence someone to death then why not just execute them by future lethal injection or future electric chair or future gas chamber? Also surely if you're trying to avoid fucking up the past then surely removing timecriminals is the least disruptive thing possible, why send people back in time to die when it will only risk changing the course of history, imagine who could've been in that paddy-wagon. One more thing, the only true Timecop is the Time Trax bloke, didn't have JCVD's buns or splits ability but he also didn't let his wife die

Here's my tagline: JCVD is Timecop - Making history, Making love

If we get to the end of Timecop without a long derail about Jean-Claude's buns and his splits then I'll turn off in disgust. Now I know someone will say how will you turn off the episode after it has already ended well I'll skip back 10 minutes then turn it off in disgust

Ninja Terminator has the stupidest story I've ever seen, and I've seen the entire Sweet Valley High series

I haven't quite finished yet - maybe someone in the audience answers the question - but Starlee asks why when she goes with the boyfriend to the architect firm does seeing that picture of the lake house want to make her find him. The simple solution is that the brother says that he died two years ago today. So maybe this gets addressed later - I've got another 45 minutes to listen to

As I was watching this I couldn't help but wonder how I'd never seen it given the sheer number of shitty kids films I saw in the 90s. Then when Rob Schneider was doing the whole what-if thing it suddenly struck me that someone had recommended this to me and I'd just never seen it - so I knew someone who not only thought that Surf Ninjas was a funny film but that Rob Schneider was the funniest part of it. Fuck the 90s were bad, good riddance

I'm most of the way through the episode and just wanted to make a minor correction that may have been corrected late on but anyway the xXx death scene isn't his whole face it's just his scalp - in which case he could've faked it, also I think this was a deleted scene and not in the actual film. Here's the clip without audio because that's the only one I could find:

Surely the explanation for the title Airborne is that Mitchell Goosen is mentally airborne - he has his head in the clouds, he's always daydreaming about surfing and being back in California. So when people complain he learnt nothing, surely he realised that with the love of a good woman (or teenage girl in this case) he found his feet back on the ground and realised that life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. The tagline then should say "Mitchell Goosen was Airborne when he landed in Cincinnati, but it took a special girl and zany sidekick to bring him back down to earth".

I imagine you're probably right and know more than me as I have a very vague recollection when I saw it here in merry England in the 90s on whatever it was on BBC, ITV(?) Reading the wiki apparently it was "surprisingly mature/violent", well that all depends what you mean by violent but I suppose it's better than in the TMNT cartoon of having robot foot soldiers so you can cut them to pieces.

I remember in the Highlander cartoon that you don't cut people's heads off it's more like a knowledge exchange where you meet up with other Highlanders in order to gain their knowledge consensually which kind of takes the fun out of Highlander - it being about fights to death. Imagine a cartoon version of Death Race 2000 where people score points by high-fiving spectators or shaking hands at high-speed with other drivers

The thing I don't get about THE PRIZE being mortality is that surely if anyone wants to die then just don't put up a fight and let your head be cut off. No no no I don't want a quick painless death, I want to die old and infirm, I want to be mortal and work a 50-hour week for fifty years, at the end of which they tell me to piss off. Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die rather than suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time. That's what I want.

I haven't had the chance to finish listening just yet but this really reminded me of Perfume: the Story of a Murderer, people suddenly getting super horny when they eat the food, I thought it would also end in an orgy

I guess the lady who gave the five star review saying that the volume was too low had the silence on her tv turned all the way up, common mistake

Two things unrelated to the film but related to the podcast: Paul says he and June watched the Manchurian Candidate with the brightness down (I just wrote that as darkness turned up, what the fuck) and concluded that it was a crappy tv, I doubt that's what it was. If I'm in a hotel I like to switch the tv on and turn the volume down low and turn the brightness down so I can fall asleep with the tv on but without the light in the room (it's like listening to white noise), I've known a few people who do this, at least I have the common courtesy to turn the brightness up again in the morning. Secondly, I'm reading People Who Eat Darkness now, the paper version though not the audio book, and I'd definitely recommend it because it's not just about this little subculture it goes into the culture that created that subculture that grew because of the conditions of post-war Japan and the bubble economy of the 90s. My brother lives in suburban Tokyo with his family so I'll have to ask him about this stuff. It's a slightly surreal story, just goes to show that truth is stranger than fiction as it would just make an unbelievable fiction story.

I don't remember watching Hell Comes to Frogtown, but according to my imdb rating I hated it

I tried watching Solarbabies and I gave up after I realised I hadn't been paying attention for the last ten minutes and I had no idea what was going on. It's like my eyes were pointed at the screen but my brain turned them off. I think this sort of nonsense might have been bearable when I was a kid but holy crap is it obnoxious, it's supposed to be a Mad Max Babies or something but I couldn't make it all the way through.

I always feel embarrassed for the audience members who have to come up with a "what would you BLANK" or whatever Paul also wants in addition to the question. I imagine some people don't ask a question because they can't think up a wrestler name or alternative movie title or whatever, in this case it's fairly easy. For the record I'd choose a sexy professor type - with tweed jacket and leather elbow patches and pipe and reading glasses. I don't know if it's kosher to mention another bad movie podcast here but anyway We Hate Movies has an occasional feature called Animation Damnation that covers shitty cartoons and they point out that in the 80s everyone had a cartoon, if you were famous in the 80s you get a cheaply animated poorly written cartoon, so watching this I couldn't help but think where was the Village People cartoon. The Harlem Globetrotters had a cartoon, alright I know that's the 70s but same principle as here because it would be easy to make into a cartoon when you have a bunch of different characters in one format that could be transplanted into another format. Imagine then The Village People Detective Agency or The Village People Defence Force protecting America from commies. If you wonder how Steve Guttenberg got the role in this movie I'd say it has more to do with the Stone Cutters than Guttenberg's sexiness. One last thing, what surprised me was how skinny some of these Village People were, I think my brain had them confused with the Chippendales. I thought being buff was part of the gay sub-culture or was that later?

I was hoping the new Bloodsport film, since it's a reboot, would be called Bloodsport: The New Blood.

Let me introduce a wonderful film called American Movie

Not to ignore the pleasure I got from the gang covering this film but I think the biggest laugh for me was the girl saying "if I wanted to spend 2 hours watching average looking people I'd go visit my family". Sick burn bro. Also you've been pronouncing Covenant wrong, it's pronounced "COE-venant", man. What else could it be pronounced? "CUH-venant" sounds like "ovenant", man. And that's just... it doesn't work.

The whole fight with the sledgehammer thing made me think of all the times I've seen someone in a film fight with a sledgehammer. Off the top of my head I've only got Pale Rider where Clint Eastwood hits Richard Kiel in the face with a sledgehammer and doesn't Shaq have a sledgehammer in Steel? I guess Shaq never hits anyone in the face with it. Anyway the whole problem everyone had with the scene is that sledgehammers are top heavy and will take you with them when you swing them at somebody and this very issue comes up in a scene in a martial arts film I saw within the last year or so where the solution was to not fight with the heavy end but to fight with the handle. Anyone know which film I'm talking about?