SamThompson

Greetings! So pretty much every decision made in this movie is completely bananas. I'll start with what exactly is a machine? Does it, by definition, require electricity? NO. Machine: A tool containing one or more parts that uses energy to perform an intended action. Machines are usually powered by mechanical, chemical, thermal, or electrical means, and are often motorized. Therefore a bicycle is a machine. So is a sprinkler! A machine does not require a motor. Even a sailboat should be considered a machine (wind powered). Oh, and a gun. By the way, that stupid gun had a range of 360 degrees in the horizontal, but at a fixed height. Emilio could have easily sauntered over and disabled it at any time. The screen notes at the beginning and end of the film perfectly reflect how completely bonkers this movie is: In the opening text, what makes a comet’s tail extraordinarily diffuse? Why even include this adverb? Like, everyone and their mom knows how diffuse comet tails are. But THIS comet tail will blow your mind! And if it is sooooo diffuse, why is there an obvious green mist in the sky? ALSO! What the fuck is a rogue comet? How does a comet "go rogue"? And if the comet is in fact rogue, why can it be predicted with certainty (using astronomical calculations) that the comet will do anything? It's a rogue comet. It's on the loose, right? It can do whatever it wants! Fuck calculations. In the closing text, a UFO and Russian nuclear satellite are introduced. Enough said. Finally I think King's best directorial decision overall was having the guy in the arcade inexplicably say “Yo Mama” for no reason right before he's murdered by the arcade game. AND the waitress. Holy crap she was amazing and I think King probably got all his cocaine from her.

Attention! I have updated Ice-T's Wikipedia page to reflect the great work he did on Leprechaun 5: In the Hood. The world needs to know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-T Edit: Sadly, Ice-T checks his Wikipedia page hourly and he removed my change, which doesn't seem legal as everything I pointed out was entirely factual ;(

OMISSION: If Castor Troy wanted Sean Archer dead he could have shot him another 10 times in the opening infanticide sequence. It's not like Castor Troy is worried about getting caught because he remains at the scene for quite some time watching Sean crawl over to his dead son. It would be like shooting pigs in a barrel but I guess there would be no movie if this happened ;(