AbeFroman

It’s legitimately nuts. Jason and June would have a field day with the skinny dipping scene and the drunk dancing to Concrete Blond’s “Joey”!!!!

An erotic thriller that is neither erotic nor thrilling yet has been one of Netflix’s most watched films upon release. This had the potential to be a “Hand That Rocks The Cradle” type guilty pleasure, but instead is perfect for HDTGM. Lifetime production values, plot twists that go nowhere, ghastly acting and a portrayal of mental illness that would be offensive if the film wasn’t such a farce.

Bumping this in honor of Wilford Brimley’s passing. He is amazing in it and clearly having a ball. Now knowing his history makes the horse back riding action sequence less ridiculous.

Bay found Don Simpson’s old 80s coke stash and binged all of Tony Scott’s films is the best rationale for this mess. Apparently Bay was being held during his previous studio work because this is the most over the top, incoherent thing I’ve ever seen. He actually might be the worst action director ever. There is not a single coherent shot at any point in this film.

Took my 7 year old to see this and....wow. Downey’s accent is indecipherable. I caught 20% of his dialogue. Occillates between Irish, Scottish, English and even Welsh. Every word seemed to be ADR as well. Because of the accent I literally had no idea what the plot was for a good portion of the film. Banderas plays some sort of Spanish ruler/king and his accent is only slightly more intelligible. Everyone is just doing a bad riff on Jack Sparrow. The film takes place in the 19th century yet the animals talk like millennial shitheads and use phrases like “Snitches get stitches.” The biggest waste of Jim Broadbwnt ever. Dragon enema. Zouks as a dragonfly was literally the highlight of the film. The last three films I took my son to are Malefecent 2, Rise of Skywalker and Dolittle. So....movies suck now?

Bumping this one as it is the original Gemini Man. JCVD as a serial killer that looks like the lead singer of Bush? And he gets cloned so the police can track him down? Despite being directed by the late great Ringo Lam and having a pretty cool premise for DTV, this is less a movie and more of a Canadian tax shelter.

I will continue to bump this until Hard Target gets its proper due. Once again, Wilford Brimley rocks a Cajun accent and shoots people with a bow and arrow. And that is one of the least bonkers aspects of this minor miracle of a movie.

This film is hot garbage but Amy Dolenz was the subject of several junior high conversations back in the early 90s. Would make a disturbing but hilarious double feature with My Father The Hero.

Bumping this after a recent rewatch. By no means a classic, but Die Hard at Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals has held up very well. As far as Die Hard clones go, it's top 5 along with Under Siege, Speed, Executive Decision and Cliffhanger. It's utterly ridiculous but legit entertaining in a way that most modern actions films aren't. Powers Booth does a fantastic spin on Hans Gruber as well. Double Impact is still better suited for HDTGM, but Sudden Death is too much fun to ignore.

Hyams has some great stuff on his resume (Outland, 2010, Running Scared, his stuff with Van Damme) but some hot garbage as well (End of Days, Sounds of Thunder, Stay Tuned?!!) . His films are rarely dull though.

Bumping Double Impact as it has been too long since the crew tackled JCVD. The Bloodsport and Timecop episodes are my all time favorites and Double Impact is equally worthy: black silk underwear, another boss fight with Chong Li, splits in a unitard and bad early 90s rap on the soundtrack.

Rivers Edge is indeed strange but it’s a Thank God This Got Made. It’s based on a true story and features incredible performances by Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper. As it was Keanu’s first major role, it will never be lost to time. In fact, the cast is uniformly awesome: Ione Skye, Roxanne Zal, Daniel Roebuck and the little brother from Teen Witch!!

A travesty that will probably kill the franchise for good. Struggled to get past the 15 minute mark. I was astonished at how bad it was, especially with the involvement of Shane Black. You can also tell it was hacked to pieces in post production. Catch it when it makes its cable run and marvel at the ineptitude.

Not Arnold's best movie (that's Predator IMHO), but certainly his most rewatchable as well as most "Arnold" movie. The tool shed scene alone should qualify this movie for a live episode. Definitely a Thank God This Got Made.

I would vote for Village of the Damned as his worst. It needs to be seen to be believed: Kirstie Alley chain smoking, an embarrassed Christopher Reeve, Mark Hammil overacting and Crocodile Dundee's wife holding the whole thing together. The kids themselves are hilariously not scary. It screams "contractual obligation". I doubt Carpenter left his trailer on that one. Ghosts at least knows what it is: supremely cheesy fun.