AbeFroman

An erotic thriller that is neither erotic nor thrilling yet has been one of Netflix’s most watched films upon release. This had the potential to be a “Hand That Rocks The Cradle” type guilty pleasure, but instead is perfect for HDTGM. Lifetime production values, plot twists that go nowhere, ghastly acting and a portrayal of mental illness that would be offensive if the film wasn’t such a farce.

It’s legitimately nuts. Jason and June would have a field day with the skinny dipping scene and the drunk dancing to Concrete Blond’s “Joey”!!!!

Bumping this in honor of Wilford Brimley’s passing. He is amazing in it and clearly having a ball. Now knowing his history makes the horse back riding action sequence less ridiculous.

Bay found Don Simpson’s old 80s coke stash and binged all of Tony Scott’s films is the best rationale for this mess. Apparently Bay was being held during his previous studio work because this is the most over the top, incoherent thing I’ve ever seen. He actually might be the worst action director ever. There is not a single coherent shot at any point in this film.

Took my 7 year old to see this and....wow. Downey’s accent is indecipherable. I caught 20% of his dialogue. Occillates between Irish, Scottish, English and even Welsh. Every word seemed to be ADR as well. Because of the accent I literally had no idea what the plot was for a good portion of the film. Banderas plays some sort of Spanish ruler/king and his accent is only slightly more intelligible. Everyone is just doing a bad riff on Jack Sparrow. The film takes place in the 19th century yet the animals talk like millennial shitheads and use phrases like “Snitches get stitches.” The biggest waste of Jim Broadbwnt ever. Dragon enema. Zouks as a dragonfly was literally the highlight of the film. The last three films I took my son to are Malefecent 2, Rise of Skywalker and Dolittle. So....movies suck now?

Bumping this one as it is the original Gemini Man. JCVD as a serial killer that looks like the lead singer of Bush? And he gets cloned so the police can track him down? Despite being directed by the late great Ringo Lam and having a pretty cool premise for DTV, this is less a movie and more of a Canadian tax shelter.

I will continue to bump this until Hard Target gets its proper due. Once again, Wilford Brimley rocks a Cajun accent and shoots people with a bow and arrow. And that is one of the least bonkers aspects of this minor miracle of a movie.

This film is hot garbage but Amy Dolenz was the subject of several junior high conversations back in the early 90s. Would make a disturbing but hilarious double feature with My Father The Hero.

Bumping this after a recent rewatch. By no means a classic, but Die Hard at Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals has held up very well. As far as Die Hard clones go, it's top 5 along with Under Siege, Speed, Executive Decision and Cliffhanger. It's utterly ridiculous but legit entertaining in a way that most modern actions films aren't. Powers Booth does a fantastic spin on Hans Gruber as well. Double Impact is still better suited for HDTGM, but Sudden Death is too much fun to ignore.

Tom Sizemore vs. an ancient man/lizard/sabertooth hybrid from the Amazon in the Chicago Musuem of History. Oh, this ancient creature also feeds on the hypothalamus in human brains. Currently on Netflix and has the distinction of being the darkest film ever. Darkest as in there is little to no lighting in the film whatsoever. I struggled to make out what was happening on the screen 90% of the time. Redeemed by the ray of sunshine that is Penolope Ann Miller.

Hyams has some great stuff on his resume (Outland, 2010, Running Scared, his stuff with Van Damme) but some hot garbage as well (End of Days, Sounds of Thunder, Stay Tuned?!!) . His films are rarely dull though.

Bumping Double Impact as it has been too long since the crew tackled JCVD. The Bloodsport and Timecop episodes are my all time favorites and Double Impact is equally worthy: black silk underwear, another boss fight with Chong Li, splits in a unitard and bad early 90s rap on the soundtrack.

Rivers Edge is indeed strange but it’s a Thank God This Got Made. It’s based on a true story and features incredible performances by Crispin Glover and Dennis Hopper. As it was Keanu’s first major role, it will never be lost to time. In fact, the cast is uniformly awesome: Ione Skye, Roxanne Zal, Daniel Roebuck and the little brother from Teen Witch!!

A travesty that will probably kill the franchise for good. Struggled to get past the 15 minute mark. I was astonished at how bad it was, especially with the involvement of Shane Black. You can also tell it was hacked to pieces in post production. Catch it when it makes its cable run and marvel at the ineptitude.

Not Arnold's best movie (that's Predator IMHO), but certainly his most rewatchable as well as most "Arnold" movie. The tool shed scene alone should qualify this movie for a live episode. Definitely a Thank God This Got Made.

I would vote for Village of the Damned as his worst. It needs to be seen to be believed: Kirstie Alley chain smoking, an embarrassed Christopher Reeve, Mark Hammil overacting and Crocodile Dundee's wife holding the whole thing together. The kids themselves are hilariously not scary. It screams "contractual obligation". I doubt Carpenter left his trailer on that one. Ghosts at least knows what it is: supremely cheesy fun.

I searched for this film several times here and can't believe there isn't a thread for arguably JCVD's best "fighting" film. Lionheart is a certifiable Thank God This Got Made. Take the best pats of Bloodsport and Kickboxer, sprinkle in the the French Foreign Legion, the bad guy from Cobra, unitards, kilts and a boss fight featuring a behemoth named "Attila". Was released around the world with different titles in almost every market (Wrong Bet, AWOL, Leon, etc.) Please make this happen. We are long overdue for another JCVD live episode.

Zodiac all the way. Even though I'm a huge Edgar Wright fan, I can't cast my vote for Shaun when Hot Fuzz exists. Hot Fuzz is the perfect distillation of Wright's sensibilities as well as a seamless combo of action and comedy. In fact, Hot Fuzz is vastly superior to many of the action "classics" that he pays homage to in the film. Every viewing reveals a new joke and unlike the Apatow comedy factory, it is deftly plotted. No unnecessary riffing or improv here. Magnolia is PTA at his most pretentious. Even he is on the record that an hour needs to be cut from the film. Boogie Nights is far more Canon-worthy PTA. Zodiac is not Fincher's best film (that would be Social Network), but it is firmly in his Top 3. It also might be his most personal film as he grew up in the area during the Zodiac killings. Zodiac just might be his definitive statement on obsession in a career of films that focus on obsession. The ensemble acting, period design, cinematography and canny use of CGI are all incredible. It got zero recognition from the Academy and deserves to be in the conversation of truly great films from 00-10.

Would love to see some heroic bloodshed. But any episode on this sub genre has to include Ringo Lam’s City on Fire. Not only did inspire countless imitators, but Tarantino borrowed large chunks of the film for Reservoir Dogs. City on Fire vs. The Killer?

My top pick would be LA Confidential. It simply needs more recognition as of the truly great films of the 90s. Also, one of the very last mainstream studio films aimed squarely at adults. Wish list: Three Kings Trading Places vs. Coming to America To Live and Die In LA Hot Fuzz vs Shaun of the Dead

Like so many other fondly remembered and endlessly quoted films from the 1980s, Caddyshack simply does not hold up in 2018. The film's narrative is a complete mess and it ultimately devolves into a series of admittedly enjoyable riffs by a few comedy legends. It's also hard to root for Danny Noonan, the film's ostensible lead, when he disappears for large chunks of the film. What's the point of making a "Slob vs. Snobs" comedy when we spent more time with the snobs and the slobs are so unlikable (save for Sarah Holcomb, despite sporting the worst Irish accent in history. She was also the mayor's daughter in the infamous pass out scene from Animal House) As a teen in the 90s, this film was indeed a comedy touchstone as well as a gateway to the work of its key players (Ramis, Murray, Chase, Dangerfield). My friends and I would endlessly quote Dangerfield's dialogue to each other, 100% of which is comedy gold. But a relentless barrage of great quotes does not make a comedy classic. If the film is celebrated for its key players, there are far more Canon worthy films of theirs to discuss: Groundhog Day for Ramis and Murray, Fletch for Chevy Chase and Back to School for Dangerfield. In fact, I would argue that Back to School is a far more successful "Slob vs. Snobs" entry than Caddyshack, perhaps the best of the 1980s.

Bumping this thread because I recently discovered Hot Fuzz on Netflix and it has quickly become one of my all time favorites. Good Lord, what an endless rewatchable film. Wright is a true original and he has now proven with Baby Driver that he can make a seamless transition to Hollywood.

Big bump for this incredible time capsule of a documentary that is perhaps more relevant in 2018 than ever. It is astonishing in its presentation of 1980s NYC and the subcultures within it. It is hilarious, entharlling, harrowing and heartbreaking all at the same time. The Canon needs to devote an hour to this classic, if for no other reason than to educate people as to where terms like “throw shade” actually came from.

As a Bostonian, I used to love The Departed. And while it remains supremely entertaining, it’s also a complete mess. Nicholson is a disaster and many of its themes (racism, father figures, impotence, masculinity) are ultimately abandoned. The Canon definitely needs some Hong Kong action and IA would be a worthy addition. To that end, I would love to see Hard Boiled or City on Fire receive consideration given their impact on action and crime genre films. Also the rat at the end is indeed too on the nose. However, the very posh Beacon Hill in Boston (the location of Matt Damon’s apartment) is legendary for its rat problem. As the screenwriter is also from Boston, I can’t help but sense that the setting was deliberate.

The Point Break episode reminded me that Keanu went right from a major studio action film and made this iconic Gus Van Sant indie classic. River Phoenix's best performance ever? A contender for Van Sant's best film, if not his most personal? One of the defining indie films of the 90s? Also, everyone in the cast immersed themselves so much in the street hustler lifestyle that there was major collateral damage afterwards. Many have speculated that this film is where Phoneix and co-star Rodney Harvey picked up the heroin habits that ultimately cost them their lives. Reeves was also rumored to have picked up a habit on this film. A devastating article in Premiere (1998, I think) chronicled the demise of Harvey and the fall out from MOPI. A haunting film that needs more recognition.