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Doofgodolac

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Posts posted by Doofgodolac


  1. This was one of those movies I stayed up to watch when HBO would sign off for the night.They would always play something dark or shitty around 1:00 AM then shut down for a few hours. God did this film ever belong in that timeslot. I also have a vivid memory of Gene Simmons promoting the movie, talking about his portrayal of the evil hermaphrodite Velvet. I guess he now says he was terrible in it. He's correct but I am not certain there was any saving this stinking pile.

    • Like 1

  2. Please PLEASE do Monkeybone at some point. This flick is as batshit crazy as a film can be. Who was the target audience? Feels like a family film but it is waaaaay too dark. What was the theme? Beware creating evil monkeys? And why was Rose McGowan a cat lady? And then there's the whole Chris Kattan thing mentioned multiple times above. WTF?!

    • Like 1

  3. What do we need to do to get this film discussed? I have seen it at least three times and am more amazed with each viewing. Paz's line delivery is beyond unfathomable. If you told me that she has no recollection of shooting this film, I'd buy it. She can't have been sober at any moment. She's nude in scenes simply to be nude. And not just for 3 seconds. Whole conversations are being carried on while she walks around bare assed. Jason will be on board immediately. And we need June to talk about Paz's hairdo. I have no idea what's going on with it.

     

    Then there's Katrina Bowden. I have no idea why she'd be in this. Maybe she needed a house payment that month. I suppose somebody needed to be the hot female foil but Bowden looks embarrassed to be in this.

     

    Speaking of needing house payments, Kathleen Turner makes an appearance here. This may be about the most completely unnecessary role she's ever held. As the head nurse she literally introduces our characters then... that's it. Body Heat, Romancing the Stone, War of the Roses... and Nurse 3D.

     

    And then there's Judd Nelson. His direction must have been to be the single most pervy doctor ever. Again, 30 years ago he was SOMEONE. Here he is just the single most sleazy douche you have ever seen. You practically beg to see Paz kill him.

     

    And let's not forget that this film was shot to be seen in 3D. All of the Muppetvision 4D effects are here. Crap flies in your face for no apparent reason. I'm not even certain I understand how making this a 3D film would be a selling point.

     

    Not convinced that this needs to be discussed? Here are Abby, Paz's character's, first lines:

     

    My name is Abigail Russell. I look like a slut. But don't be fooled, this is merely a disguise to lure the dangerous predators who walk among us. This is their jungle. Their breeding ground. And tonight I'm on the hunt. These are the cheaters - the married lying scum. They are like diseased cells, cultured in alcoholic petri dishes, but destroy unsuspecting families, and infect millions of innocent vaginas. There is no cure for the married cock. Only me, the Nurse.

     

    Need I say more? This film begs to be discussed.

    • Like 1

  4. Maybe a more specific subset of "Grossest Sex Talk," but I'd like to hear a rundown on "Paul's Weirdest Sex Ideas." Off the top of my head, there's "All goddesses are sluts" from Hercules in New York, and the "Sex robot assumptions" from The Avengers, but there's got to be more than those two...

     

    I like this idea. How about Paul saying he just wants to see Rick Moranis cuckolded in Episode # 128: Streets of Fire?


  5. 2) Tatiana Maslany - Love love love love love Tatiana. She's such a giant nerd and really just gets shows like this. She jumps right in and just nails it. Side note: her appearance on CBB was equally amazing, and she even played along with the improv on that. She's amazing, and if you don't love her, you are 100% in the wrong.

     

    I am one of the (apparently few) people who prefer the live shows. Live shows seem to bring a little something extra out of the cast and guests. Comics and actors playing in front of an audience I suppose. Considering her range, I'd love to see Tatiana have a chance to play off an engaged, and prepared, audience. I also felt Jason dialed things back a little in the "Masters of the Universe" episode which was unfortunate. Having seen enough interviews with Maslany, I think she could handle anything Jason threw at her.


  6. Love this thread! Great idea!

     

    5) Showgirls

    Everything about tis film was, and still is, so bad it's good. Every time I see Berkley's Nomi pull the knife on the dude at the beginning, I spit up my drink. Worst acting ever... and goes down hill from there.

     

    4) Flash Gordon

    Where do you begin? Stupid plot? Bad acting? Crazy music? Aliens so insanely colored they looked like a Benetton ad?

     

    3) Caveman

    Atouk zug zug Lana. Doofgodolac alunda Cavman.

     

    2) Spring Breakers

    Love him or hate him, Franco's Alien was one of the better anti-heroes in recent memory. And then he gave a blowjob to a gun...

     

    1) Ghost Ship

    Terribly bad horror movie with an insane premise... and it is amazing. Right from the first scene where all of the passengers are cut in half by a steel wire, I am hooked. And have to love the fact that the little girl was a very pre Sucker Punch Emily Browning.


  7. I listen to HDTGM and Doug Loves Movies religiously. On a tournament ep of DLM, Samm Levine made a comment that, on Oscar night, he goes to a dinner with a bunch of older actors so he can listen to their stories. I now understand what Samm meant because Mel Brooks just gave that to me. Is there anything more enjoyable than "old Hollywood" reminding you of what it used to be like, before the 90's technological advances destroyed that mystique?

     

    I have always adored Mel Brooks, but now I feel as if I cannot get enough. I want a weekly podcast about him, his stories, and his life. And. yes, I get that a podcast is an end result of the 90's technological advances that have destroyed so much. Cruel irony!!!!


  8. I'll list them by episode (which allows me to cheat and count 2 guests as 1):

     

    5) Ep # 65 "Howard The Duck" : Kristen Schaal

    Kristen can come off a bit spacey but she did her research for the flick. I love when guests come prepared. I loved her discussion around how Leah Thompson must have been so confused thinking she was in a kid's movie and asks Lucas about it, to which Schall replies, in her best George Lucas voice "Yeah, yeah, yeah, so get your tits out."

     

    4) Ep # 79 "Deck The Halls" : Andrea Savage

    Andrea wasn't afraid to comment on how retched the film was, going so far as to quote her friend who acted in this mess. Her reveals around DeVito (kinda felt Andrea up once... allegedly), Broderick ("this is the bottom"), Chenowith (crying constantly due to recent breakup), and Davis ("freeze your eggs!!!!") were AMAZING.

     

    3) Ep # 84 "No Holds Barred" : Tom Lennon

    Tom had me with two lines. The first, when he commented that the film was like looking at a Mapplethorpe picture of just two glistening dongs and you try to find deeper meaning and, nope, just two dongs. And then there was the statement that Hulk Hogan looked like Nude Clown.

     

    2) Ep # 99 "A View To A Kill" : Matt Gourley and Matt Mira

    I love Bond flicks and I loved the James Bonding podcast. This crossover episode will always have a place in my iPod. Gourley adores this film so much, and Mira just adores trashing it, which just destroys Gourley's childhood. Mira:"This movie's terrible Matt Gourley!" Gourley:"Terribly wonderful."

     

    1) Ep # 128 "Streets of Fire" : Rachel Bloom and Jessica St. Clair

    I have listened to this one at least ten times. Not certain if there's a funnier conversation then around Rick Moranis and sex. There's Rachel saying she hopes Moranis gets blown a lot. Then there's St. Clair saying she's going to fuck Moranis to which Jason replies "Or, you could give him a part on your show".

    • Like 2

  9. For those of you who haven't watched this piece o' shitake, it is conveniently airing on some of the 172 HBO channels this month. I recommend watching it on HBO Latino if you don't speak Spanish. Your not understanding a word of the dialog will only help this confounding trainwreck.

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