Cakebug Tranch

How did Jade make the teacher's strappy shoes? And who did the teacher's hair?

It is the ONLY logical conclusion. Welcome to the boards, by the way! Post often, stay a while!

Also, Bubbie is giving Yasmin expensive pairs of shoes, likely worth hundreds of dollars, in exchange for a small piece of chocolate. Two questions: What is Bubbie's shoe hook-up? Does she know a guy at the docks? Is she a compulsive shoplifter? Does she run a sweatshop? Does she have a giant inheritance that she uses sparingly to trade goods for chocolate? Which leads us to question two: what is in Yasmin's chocolate? Does she have some magical chocolate making technique that makes a small piece enough to satisfy even the most discerning of chocoholics? Or is 'chocolate' a codeword for the methadone that Yasmin is withholding from her junkie grandmother? Or is this chocolate laced with speed, that she gives out when Bubbie's really starting to get the shakes? There's much more to this clandestine shoes for 'chocolate' trade.

ABOUT ALIENS, TAYLOR?

Best C+O of the week so far. My favourite sign on the walls at the school was 'NO GAMBLING'.

I'd like to bring up a point about the timeline and hierarchy of this school. The movie starts with our Bratz heroines starting freshman year at high school, meaning they're around 13 or 14 years old. Ignoring the fact that none of the actresses in this movie look to be that young, we are set up to follow this four through their freshman year. The question I have, is if Meredith is the same age as the Bratz, then how is she in charge of the seating chart? Even if she's a year older (as a sophomore, which makes her a senior after the flash forward in time), why are the seniors and juniors at this school allowing her to call the shots? It can't simply be to do with the fact that her father is the principal. If it weren't for the fact that the Bratz mention the two year passage of time it would be completely understandable to guess that the 'two years later' chiron was added in post (and maybe their references to it were added there too). But if the Second Super Sweet Sixteen Party dominates the second half, this means that two years prior to that, Meredith was in charge of the school as a fourteen year old. Surely a Meredith-only movie, documenting her rise to power, is necessary, along the lines of the Sharpay-only movie that followed the 'High School Musical' franchise? I guess my main question is, why are the school's seniors so scared of this 14 year old? Seriously, Meredith, WHAT IS ON THAT FLASH DRIVE?

Am I the only one who couldn't look at Yasmin's bubbie without thinking of Lainie Kazan in 'Gigli', getting Ben Affleck to inject her with a syringe in the ass, over a too-tight exposed thong? That image is going with me throughout the rest of my life.

The new logo isn't showing on my computer, only my phone, so in case not everyone sees it...

Just refreshed my podcast app to get the Bratz episode: love the new logo guys! The 'Junior' one was long-overdue for retirement.

Apparently not. Look, it's even listed among the IMDb keyword searches linked to the film...

Not to bring everyone down from their Marilyn-Jane high or anything, but I thought it worth mentioning that this movie fails the Bechdel test. Miserably.

I thought that Lorelei's big mistake was being too greedy with Piggy: if she was leading him on for a few of his nice diamonds, that would be one thing, but to covet his wife's tiara that she loves so much that she carries it around with her rather than leave it locked up in her cabin? Surely she'll realise that it will be missed in quick time? If it had have been a bag full of diamonds or a necklace that wouldn't have been missed, he wouldn't have raised the alarm, out of embarrassment.

And of course we can't forget that the genius Baz Luhrmann mashed up 'Diamonds' and 'Material' in 'Moulin Rouge!'... ETA; GOD DAMNIT TAYLOR

I don't know, I think the porthole/blanket/hand/laryngitis sequence was a major highlight for the film. I liked that the kid didn't seem particularly precocious (he'd never get cast today) but was solemn and was thinking through his lines. By the time he started wisecracking under the blanket, I was sold. But then he was gone.

Me too. I found myself fervently hoping that his name was 'Danny' and that it was her pronunciation of the word. Later, when I heard his name stated a few times, my heart quietly sank.

I liked Marilyn a lot more in 'The Prince and the Showgirl', in terms of her comedic timing and line delivery, but she was pretty great in this too. I found her raison d'etre a little galling - she was a cartoon character in the way she'd go weak at the sight of diamonds and her process of convincing the old dude to give her the tiara was pretty sketchy - but that's the character, not the performer. Anyone got a theory as to the significance of the title? Because THIS gentleman preferred Jane Russell. Or is it saying 'Gentlemen [rich dudes?] prefer blondes, Pole Vaulters and Private Investigators prefer Brunettes'? I'm not sure I saw anyone prefer blondes - Jane got plenty of attention too. I also want a whole other spin-off movie about the rich little boy who thinks Marilyn is a burglar. It's a damn shame that the last time we see him is in the blanket/tiny hands moment.

Kate wins.

I wrote this review of GPK on letterboxd last week. Having listened to the bonus episode, I feel like I correctly predicted what life was like at home for the Astins.

I said to my wife the other day, in all absolute seriousness, "I can't predict the future, and I don't know what's ahead, but I know one thing with absolute certainty: that at least once a day for the rest of my natural life, I will get at least one 'High School Musical' song stuck in my head."

Obviously, in honor of the name endowed by Cam and Tom, I'd be Cake Butt. So a kid with a butt. Of Cake.

So if we buy the idea that the GPK are from space (although i agree with the idea that the opening credits outer space sequence was probably tacked on in post), why do the kids both resemble earth-bound stereotypes, with punny names? These characters emerge fully-formed from the goo, presumably are ageless (so are not growing older, even though they're all 'kids' by name but older by action), but also have their identities immediately established, so much so that they introduce themselves by their defining characteristic. Now, I can get that a kid named Winston who grows up with an issue with flatulence might either be nicknamed or self-styled as 'Windy Winston', much in the way that if his name was Frank at birth, he might be 'Farty Frank', but what about 'Ali Gator'? That's not a nickname based on his actions, that's a definition of his species. An earthly species, by the way, which further complicates the space alien suggestion. As Paul points out (and Jon emphasises), 'Valerie Vomit' only vomits once, which means that sometime in her past Valerie vomited enough to make this her defining characteristic. And 'Greaser Greg' is based on a 50's stereotype that's at least 20 years old at the time of this movie, meaning that kids watching the film would have no idea what a greaser is: and the question must be posed. Was Greg a greaser before he was named Greaser Greg, or did he become a greaser because that's what his name was? What about Foul Phil? He's pretty foul, yes, but what baby isn't? Is Nat Nerd a nerd because of his interests, or because he was called a nerd from birth, hence he figures he might as well just be a nerd? There is a serious thread of nature vs. nurture throughout this movie, where people become the things that we say they are, and that's their defining characteristic for their whole lives. Except for Ali Gator. That's just a lazy-ass pun.

Epic pick, Taylor, and thanks for giving us an excuse to watch this! I've never seen any Marilyn either except for 'The Prince and the Showgirl', which prompted me to immediately shift my impression from Marilyn as a ditzy hack known only for her curves, to 'holy cow this woman is a straight up comic genius'. By the way, I am not around as much at the moment because I have just relocated to Upstate New York for my new job at SUNY Oswego. Orientation started this morning and it's a LOT. In addition to my tenure track teaching position, I'm living in one of the resident halls as a Faculty Mentor Resident, so there's very little time, it seems. But, I write this sitting at the window of my apartment, looking out over Lake Ontario from the sixth floor. It feels like last week that I came in here to announce that I got this job!

Ooof, that's a credit you'd 'accidentally' leave off your resume. It's jobs like that which Alan Smithee credits were invented for.

I got the part about the suicide attempts but I found it shocking how dismissive and cruel everyone was about her attempts: diminishing the actions of a clearly mentally ill person isn't cool. A cry for help like that is more than just being dramatic!

Guys, let's just say what we are all thinking. 1. Shared universe where Gigi and Gaston's son grew up in Paris to be the Emcee in Cabaret. 2. Jacob's Ladder Scenario: Honore starts singing 'Thank Heaven for Little Girls', dies of disgustingness halfway through, the whole movie is his death rattle, only to have him finish the song at the end and then head straight to hell. Sorry to point out the obvious guys.