Cakebug Tranch

Surely this is the whole point of this exercise! And this website! Seeing movies that we're not sure if we should be excited about or not!

And THAT was the reaction I was waiting for. Yasss. (That's what you get for 'Tommy' )

My turn! Hooray! Okay, so as you know, I thought long and hard about what I should suggest. I thought about some musicals that I dearly, dearly love, and I thought about some that are unequivocally challenging, in the spirit of this site (obviously I'm not naming any names just in case these films are randomly chosen by other players in future). In the end, it came down to a single film which holds a dear place in my heart but also annoys me too. I love it but see the problems with it. So. - One of the greatest collections of songs ever assembled? CHECK. - A visual feast? CHECK. - A genius director who's also a certified lunatic? CHECK. - A complete and utter mess that's trying way too hard? CHECK. - 53% on Rotten Tomatoes, guaranteeing that at least one of us love it and one of us hate it? CHECK. - A film that at least one of us have scored 4 stars on Letterboxd and one of us have scored 2 stars? CHECK. - A film that earned back about 40% of its $70million budget, making it a verified bomb? CHECK. - Our first bona-fide Jukebox musical? CHECK. You know what it is, don't you. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

Which begs the question, why didn't they just Rosie Ruiz the whole race? Grab a cab at the top. There are no rules, after all.

Oh right, when he jumped off the building roof and on to the truck tray instead of going the long way round? Or would that be considered smart direct racing?

I thought Mitchell was legit and it was Wiley and the other bad-skating Prep that got a lift? And they didn't factor into the top three finishers, so no foul...

Edit: all will be revealed. Monday morning. Strap in.

Winner winner chicken dinner

To respond to Cameron H.'s challenge: "Hey Mitchell, did you know that when he's not driving a Zamboni, my dad's a regional Playboy photographer? Yeah. Cool, huh? Not only that, you know Nikki from homeroom? She's actually 22 and engaged to a dwarf. Funny thing is, in her 1991 issue, my Dad shot her, it was weird." Okay, fine, that's kind of gross and creepy, but it works as a segue to mention something curious about Brittney Powell (Nikki, a full-on adult during this movie) and her pre-'Airborne' appearances in Playboy magazine, which was mentioned in the podcast. I'm going to link to an image below which I will cover with a spoiler, and I hope no one is offended by its content - although rest assured it's not one of Ms. Powell's Playboy photos. No, it's actually the cover of the issue that she appears in, April 1991, and while the young woman on the cover is very much underdressed, the reason I'm linking to it is because of what she's wearing on her feet. Rest assured, this isn't exactly SFW, and Dan, if you feel the need to take this down, I get it. Again, don't click there if you would prefer not to see it. Anyway, I just thought this was a curious connection.

Like Bull Durham!

Also, since I'm on the subject of ridiculous things I noticed in this movie: The moment in the diner when Blaine grabs Gloria and decides he wants to dance-rape her awkwardly in the middle of the room has a source. I invite you to join me in the following clip from 1989's Back to the Future Part III where Mad Dog Tannen dance-rapes Doc Brown's beloved Clara. (The timestamp didn't work, so fast forward to 38 seconds in) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c-UIkfsk1U&t=0m38s Come on, it's the same thing! I see you, Airborne director!

Okay, I would like to shift the conversation back a little bit towards hockey and this film. The relationship between hockey and this movie is fraught at best. As our esteemed Ohioan members have pointed out, hockey isn't a major sport in Cincinnati - there is a pro team but it's not like it is in Canada or Minnesota or something. So, hockey's not such a big deal. YET. The only school team that we see or hear of is the hockey team, and this doesn't really feel a sanctioned school game, with the kids picking the team on the fly in the hallway, and no coaches to be seen. Okay, so we've established all this already. Except hockey is set out to be a huge deal in this world. The twins wear matching Cincinnati Cyclones jerseys in every scene they're in. Wiley introduces himself to the class as being all about hockey, he loves hockey, he lives hockey, breathes hockey - but when he's put into the game, he confesses that he can't skate, and only likes to play hockey on his Nintendo. BUT. Wiley's father is established as an award-winning Zamboni driver. They actually have a line in the movie about how he won an award for being the best Zamboni driver in town. His license plate says 'my Other Car is a Zamboni'. Yet when Wiley says that he played hockey, dad doesn't seem familiar with the sport. "Wiley play hockey? I gave him a puck! A cup? You can't win a Stanley Cup unless you're on a team" Here in Canada, Zamboni drivers are the rink rockstars. It's a huge privilege to get anywhere near a Zamboni and the guys who do it are hardcore in the community. There's just NO WAY that Wiley's dad gets to drive a Zamboni and not be familiar with the sport, and if he's working in a rink, how is it possible his son hasn't learned how to skate? This makes absolutely no sense. Add to this, the game between the Centrals and the Preps is billed as having been going on for years. Like, it's been so long since the Centrals won that it's really bugging them. It's set up like some kind of finale to a Mighty Ducks movie, except the Preps don't have fancy uniforms up against the rag-tag Centrals, like you'd expect, everyone looks like they forgot their gear at home that day and had to use whatever was in lost property. And for a school with such a passion for hockey (and a pretty nice outdoor covered rink with a scoreboard), why can't they find guys to play? Like, picking Wiley in the hallway and Mitchell from the stands? Is this seriously the best they can do? Not to mention Cam Bert's earlier point, about the fact that menacing gang member Snake is actually the Latino Wayne Gretzky in disguise. And what about Rosenblatt? Poor old Rosenblatt, very clearly a member of the team prior to the film starting, is seen in the film class with a broken nose, unable to make his speech, but never really sighted again. He seems like a throwaway character, but when the Centrals declare that they won't graduate losers by getting beaten by the Preps again, what do they all dedicate their future win to? FOR ROSENBLATT! They all cry, rousing us all around a character who will never play hockey, never skate in the race, never actually utter a line. Seriously, guys, WHY was hockey made such a big part of this movie if no one was willing to really invest in hockey overall?

Thanks for the tip, Shannon! Sounds terrific!

He can't be fired. HE WROTE HIS OWN EXISTENCE.

Now THAT's a freakin' C+O. My only defence of the teacher might be that in 'speech' class, this module has something to do with personal biographies, and that the syllabus has been set up in such a way that they're asked to re-introduce themselves to each other. We all know, though, that it's just a lazy screenwriter (and part-time actor as the teacher) who's getting all the get-to-know-you exposition done in the first five minutes Goosen's at the school, only to be DESTROYED by Fister's logic. I personally blame the set dressers who felt they needed to put snow on the ground to show the difference between California and Ohio. Without that, I could buy that this was the first week of September, given that he's surfing with his buddy in what looks like summer vacation (although it could be a weekend). Which brings us to ANOTHER question. If Mitchell is in Ohio from October to April (maybe), then: a) it makes sense that it's hockey season in an outdoor rink; b ) does it make sense that they're playing street hockey and having races in what must be no earlier January but no later than March? (Cincinnati locals chime in please); and c) why are the Goosen parents going to research a wombat in the depths of Australian summer when it's 40 damn degrees celsius in the shade and probably the worst possible time to be looking at marsupials? Goosen says when he fights Blaine and Jack in the Denny's that he only has three months left, so that gives us a sense of time passing, but if that's the case, we have to assume that it's January or February. But the entire double date is about wandering next to the river in light coats. But according to this site: http://www.usclimate...states/usoh0188 the average January high in Cincinnati is 39F, or not far above freezing. Not adding up, guys. We're through the looking glass now folks. Tread lightly.

Oh yeah, the dork in the middle (wombat wrangler and lab assistant to the Goosens) isn't a member of my family, hence my not being fussed about his identity. I didn't spend any extended time digging around in the giant wombat's scat so I didn't notice cubed poop, sorry. Not all of them are this big: it depends on species. There was a popular TV show in the 80's (Aussies back me up) called A Country Practice which very prominently featured a pet wombat named Fatso. It was more the size of a medium sized dog.

Breaking news: I've just uncovered a rare image of the Goosen family on one of their important wombat-related research trips. See here: http://imgur.com/a/4sIJm

Thanks Quasar! I have a list of other things to bring up later on too - I don't want to use them all at once!

Oh no, I love Canada - my kids are Canadian, so am I now. We just want to go back to Australia for a bit to give the kids a chance to spend some time with their grandparents before they get too old (both kids and grandparents). We'll be back in Toronto, 100%.

(sorry, on a roll here) There's also no National Zoological Society in America. https://www.google.c...ical+society%22 Are they Welsh sleeper agents?

Oh. And I should point this out. When Mrs. Poole from Valerie slash the Secretary from Ferris Bueller says to Mitchell that she's had word from Mitchell's parents, and that he's caught 'poison oak' in Australia, everyone takes this at face value. BUT POISON OAK IS A NORTH AMERICAN PLANT. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxicodendron_diversilobum So what if Mitchell's parents NEVER went to Australia? What if they're just so sick of this bonehead that they made up this story, packed him off to Ohio, and are now living the life of key parties and binge drinking with Dog Dog? The idea of them going to Australia in the first place (wombats) is pretty flimsy, and their ruse is immediately spoiled by trying to embellish too much (poison oak). I want to see the reverse sequel, where Mom and Dad pretend to go to Australia only to breathe a sigh of relief and get up to all kinds of hijinks with Dog Dog.

Yes, your use of 'bush' is correct - much better than the always-incorrectly-used 'outback'. The thing is, wombats don't live in crazy arid or deserty or isolated areas: they live mostly in Queensland and New South Wales, in fairly temperate locations, so Mitchell would likely have a great time. Source As an Australian currently living in Canada but seriously considering relocating my family back to Australia later this year, I can attest that this is a consideration, but not a roadblock. Australian schools have a different schedule, yes, so there'd be some adjustment, but the number of American kids who showed up in my high school for a term or two because their dads were in the state to work on the mines (okay, there were two. Two American kids) suggests that this isn't so hard. Of course, they were social outcasts because of their accents and silly phrases, but generally they did fine academically. I think the problem for the zoology parents was the cost: they had a grant to go learn all about the wombats, as though they can't do that on the internet (oh right, 1993, sorry) and as though there aren't LEGIONS of Australian scientists who know everything about the wombat, so what are these two knuckleheads going to contribute? I think they've said, 'well, we've looked at the numbers, and it costs a ton to fly to Australia, so if we don't bring the kid, we'll suddenly have all this financial flexibility and it'll be just as if the condom never broke sixteen years ago, oh Larry, just think of the freedom!"

Seriously, you guys, I have the stupidest username