urinalcake

Bosch be eatin cords. Nice.

#grootdown

these are both great and im quite certain groot himself is reconsidering his self imposed vernacular. as his said many times, the grootionary is a living document and can grow new pages as needed. its his 'perigreum'. for now. well done friends. page three feels amazing.

Hank you old dog. I think you've heard this one already.

Here's a premise for a funny new joke to be solved on page three. What does groot call his taint...

Just checking in on my cuties. Love where this is going. Straight to page 3. #HornywoodHandstuff

they like to watch. thanks for taking me by the hand and escorting me to page 2. didnt think it was a appropriate for school grounds.

this is definitely going to get to the 2nd page. my faith has been restored. sent using the sweet stylus and surgical gloves on my #microsoftsurfacepro

chef kevin needs to get his house in order. he seems to be pushing away those closest to him. i hope it isn't barbiturates again. #workingtogetherforahealthierworld

This is what bonafide cajun swamp dwellers like myself refer to as 'Spicy'. #lovethatchickenfrompopeyes

It's awesome to hear about all of these cool cars. Makes me want to finish my loan application. It's so easy. #navyfederalcreditunion

some prick registered seanspace.com in '97. #vanswarpedtour

Nope. Circle jerk got hijacked by some corporate interests and moved to another site that my older brother blocks on his network. #sandalsresortandspa

couldnt agree more hank. the tenor range in the opening 'earwolf' had me scrambling for towels. #meowtoo

Thanks for the txt rob otam. It helped me think of new ways to monetize adjectives; and good google bing duck duck something doesn't that geico

All this race talk... Finally.

Thanks for the invite bois.

Oddly enough; I've been looking forward to this.

Your hair smells so good today chris.

CHRIS! Do you hear me? Can you feel me?

And I dare ANYONE to come in here, in my forum, and challenge me to a dobro duel. I will make you eat a shit fucking sandwich on week old rye bread in front your nieces and nephews on Easter mother fucking Sunday. Come at me dobroists.

I play the dobro. And only the dobro. I refuse to play a guitar or banjo even though I can quite well. I have that shit up because I realized how much cooler it looks to play a dobro and slide my fingers up and down the neck cuz it makes all the bitches wet as fuck. Trust me. Some of you probably know me from a very popular string band I'm in. I like to wear a trucker hat backward to show everyone that yeah, I might be in a wildly popular traveling acoustic bluegrass band, but I'm fucking RAD. Watch me gyrate my pelvis while I tickle this wood... baby. So I'll play dobro and screw all your girlfriends. Dorks. Except chris'. Because I love him and am in fact in love with him.

Chris. I said I love you and that I am in love with you.

I love you chris. And I'm in love with you.