The Last Dragon belongs in the “Thank God This Got Made” Pantheon with the likes of Bloodsport, Steetfighter and the entire Fast and Furious franchise.
Why, you may ask? Well it is a blaxplotaion kungfu labradoodle of a film starring the mononymous powerhouse duo of Taimak and Vanity. It’s the story of Bruce LeRoy Green, a young black martial art student from 1980's New York who searches for the proprietor of the “Sum Dum Goy Fortune Cookie Factory”, only known as “ The Master” in hopes that he will able to help him obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as “the glow” In his travels he encounters Laura Charles who has reached the pinnacle or power and influence for any woman of the 1980s; an MTV/SoulTrain-esque VEEJAY. Mrs Charles runs afoul of Eddie Arkadian, an ambiguously mobbed up (?) dirtbag (!) promoter of all things that can be promoted. Be it a washed up boxer (Played by Mike Star, who somehow looks older here than he does almost a decade later when he appears in Dumb and Dumber) or a bobo Cindi Lauper
Does this movie have 80’s era action/comedy troupes? Yes, all of them!
Terrible 80’s music (including a cameo from the effeminate, black, undeniable John Oats-esque "DeBarge"!) CHECK!
Casual 80’s racism? Check!
Cartoonishly evil villain with an evil plan that’s vagueness is only overshadowed by its underwhelming potential for ROI? Check!
Creepily over-sexual little brother? Check!
A kid poppin' and locking his way out of bondage ? DISCOUNT DOUBLE CHECK!
This movie is packed with start power. Aside from the aforementioned Vanity who places Laura Charles (who can only be played by Beyonce in the inevitable gritty reboot), there is a baby Ernie Reyes Jr (Side note: the transformation from the ewok-like creature in this film to the hunky leading man of Surf Ninjas warrants its own 8 part documentary series, a la OJ: Made in America) We also have Christopher Murney, whose portrayal of Eddie Arcadian is a tour de force! He out Kurt Fullers Kurt Fuller's performance inthe seminal work “ No Holds Barred”.
Oh and if you think this movie doesn’t have a cameo by William H. Macy, you would be WRONG!
This movie should, neigh MUST, be reviewed on HDTGM! In the racially charged times in which we live, this primarily African American cast film takes a brave look at life in the inner cities of the 1980's and says “Hey, lets make a Van Damme movie, but like, with, like, black folks!” #HDTGM-SO-WHITE
Is this the greatest movie that will ever be on HDTGM? SHO’ NUFF!
