Dugan Nash

Bumping this thread. Recently saw this and it does not disappoint. Other people in here have mentioned the prison fight, and rightfully so. John Lithgow beats Jesse Ventura during a nighttime gladiatorial death match in a prison cafeteria. That's also probably one of the least insane parts of this movie. The HDTGM gang would love this film.

I spent 17 years being generally aware that this film existed, and I was content to live my life that way. Take a look at the poster. It looks like a generic trash movie with an inexplicably good leading duo and a hokey premise. You can probably skip it, right? My friends, you cannot. This was the colossal mistake I had made. This movie is one of the best-worst films I have ever seen. It is impossible to overstate just how completely insane it is. It took me four hours to watch this two-hour film because I would constantly rewind to the previous scene to laugh uncontrollably or stare in wonderment at how the director could make, literally, all the wrong decisions. (There's a reason he never made another big budget film again.) This movie is a puzzle-box of madness. You will question why there is a CG scorpion fight in the opening credits. You will wonder if Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell are really the illegitimate children of Elvis. You will be puzzled at why Howie Long got billing above Thomas Haden Church. You will question how God and this movie could both exist simultaneously. I have no answers for you. I am only here to spread the gospel of 3000 Miles to Graceland. Quite frankly I'm surprised that HDTGM hasn't already done this movie. I can only assume they simply aren't aware of it, or are but haven't seen it yet. I am not being facetious when I say that they should do a two-parter on this film. There really is an abundance of material to rip into, and it would be an incredible disservice if they glossed over any of it. My friends - learn from my mistakes. Don't sleep on this film. It's on Netflix and you can stream it this very moment. Be forewarned; you will be handling weapons-grade bad cinema. I leave you with this to whet your appetite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5DP-RC1NFg

This movie is a gem. I wanted to submit these illuminating Andy Sidaris quotes (he also refers to a never-made sequel to Hard Ticket called BattleZone Hawaii): Why he shot in Hawaii: "A lot of people think it’s cute to work 20 hour days, but it’s not, it’s stupid. The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in my life was watching Cast Away, which is a terrific picture with Tom Hanks. However they went to some small island that they had to take a hundred boats to get to every morning. They had to leave at 3 in the morning to get there at 5am. Then they’d wade to shore where they built a little city with toilets and things. They could have gone to Molakai! We were shooting on the golf course. We’d be in the “jungle” and turn around and there was the country club! Two hundred yards out from the hotel, there were mountains and the ocean. Meanwhile, they went to some little island. It’s absolutely stupid to take a crew down there and risk their lives every morning." https://www.bristolb...-b-film-series/ "We've never shown anything below the waist, and we don't do any bumping and grinding or any of that crap. We just do a little bit of sexy stuff. I like our pictures, because they're nice little adventure pictures. They're not mean-spirited, and I think you know that. In our movies, we don't put a knife to some girl's throat and say "We're gonna cut your t*** off, or cut your throat." We don't do crap like that. We have a family atmosphere, we pay well, and we pay on time." http://www.digitally...rview.php?ID=50 What are your future plans?: "Arlene and I have taken a hiatus in order to get up to speed on our company and our ongoing projects. We are now ready to get back into production. I’ve written a pretty exciting outline for BattleZone Hawaii with all the usual ingredients; many exotic locations, fabulous explosions, extraordinarily beautiful Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets, extremely handsome men; some of whom can’t shoot straight but their hearts are in the right place and, most importantly, the snake that was killed in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, laid an egg prior to its death. This egg is hatched and just like its mother this huge, cancerous-infected python is mad as hell!!! Wow! I can’t wait to see this movie." http://www.mediaorch...s-andy-sidaris/

I only joined this forum to promote Virtuosity. This movie is completely insane and covers all the HDTGM bases (big budget, ludicrous script, two future Oscar winners, 90s cheese, inexplicable WTF moments). I cannot speak more highly to how wondrously awful this movie is. We should start a grass-roots campaign; the world needs to see this movie.