NotTheJasonOfMyGroup

When I was younger I saw a movie before WrestleMania 3 came on PPV about a wrestler who disappeared after doing something very bad, and then some masked wrestler comes along and people think that they're the same guy. My 9 year old self was deeply impacted, but for years I couldn't remember the title anything that might lead me to the movie. Until last weekend... You know it's good when the whole thing is on YouTube. I can't tell if this is a comedy, or a drama, or if it takes itself seriously or not. This thing makes No Holds Barred look like The Godfather. It's delightfully terrible. https://youtu.be/u8on5APIe4c

Ok, as a professional stage director, this part of the story got my goat. Nobody just becomes a stage director like that. You figure that maybe 15%-25% of a theatre's ticket income comes from sales to one production. That's a big chunk, and you're not relying on some unknown 20 year old with no track record to keep your company afloat. The father's connections are suspect at best. He teaches college, and even that seems like something that he had to work to get. If he had connections, he would be using them for himself instead of teaching. (...this one hits slightly close to home...) But the big one for me is that he directed a MUSICAL REVUE! Not a play, not a musical, but a revue. Directing a revue literally consists of saying some variation of, "OK, now you come out, stand here in the center, sing your song, and then leave." Nobody makes a name for themselves as a director by doing a revue! You can literally stage a revue in an afternoon. In fact, people do it all the time! That's why they make such great one-off fundraising events. I have a friend who accidentally directed Meryl Streep and Kevin Klein in a one-off revue one time, and guess what? It didn't open any door for him to direct again. Banging the lead actress checks out though. Just ask my wife.

Quick correction: I think June said that the needle used for nipple piercing wasn't sterilized, but it totally was. Aniston totally swirled it in her whiskey sour (or whatever it was), so that totally makes it ok. Basically the piercing version of the 5 second rule.

So is it normal to get ridiculously excited when Paul reads your Corrections and Omissions on the mini-episode?

Tobias Funke: Werewolf Hunter

Yes, except that titanium is a pretty terrible metal for a knife. It doesn't like to keep an edge and dulls pretty quickly. I could imagine someone going berserker on a bunch of werewolves with a titanium blade only to get about 3 kills in and have to resharpen. I feel like that's why Christopher Lee expounds on how many badass titanium knives they have, only to switch to a gun on the way up the hill to werewolf castle. That dude with the big curvy titanium knife never had a chance. And that's why you don't mess with Christopher Lee.

I'm sure I missed this in the movie somehow, seeing how well it was written, but...was the sister pretending to be dead? Hibernating? I'm confused as to why she was in a coffin, but then she comes back like a werezombie. Is there some sort of middle state for werewolves that I'm just not hip to?

Ok, longtime listener, brand new poster. I created an account just to talk about this absolutely bonkers part of the movie that nobody has mentioned yet. Before the final assault on werewolf castle, Christopher Lee shows off their arsenal of magical weapons which includes: - a prism with consecrated oil, - wax from the sacred candles (to protect their ears), - a dagger, forged from titanium, - and, oh yeah, just the freaking HOLY GRAIL And the way that Christopher Lee delivers the lines makes the first three sound absolutely magical, though they're relatively mundane (I get sacred wax dripped on my fingers every candlelight Christmas Eve service at my parent's church!) And then he just throws away the line about the Holy Grail, this item that Indiana freaking Jones is going to spend an entire movie tracking down, as if he's describing his red-headed step-child (shout out to all the red-headed step-children out there - peace and love). And then the brother's reaction to it is completely non-existent, cause like, where are the gunz, man? And then Christopher Lee, who's all like, "Ohhhhh, I see what you're getting at (winkwinknudgenudge)," proceeds to show him another knife, some water (proving that he in no way saw what the brother was getting at), and the absolutely-in-no-way-special gun of the dead midget, which the brother of course takes with glee. Then they exit, leaving ALMOST ALL OF THE WEAPONS ON THE TABLE! And we never hear of the Holy Grail ever again. Though my thought is this: if Stirba is 10,000 years old and Christopher Lee's sister, he's gotta be about 10,004 years old, and maybe he's gotten through part of this past 10 millennia by sipping from the grail every so often to stay young, rather than feasting on the energy of (questionable) virgins. So he probably doesn't want to draw too much attention to what is basically the only thing keeping him alive, for fear that the meathead brother would just trade it in the marketplace for some local arts and crafts souvenir. That would at least explain the last 2000 years...