It's Oscar time, so why not review a movie that is not only a piece of crap, but was also nominated for Best Picture and made nearly half a billion dollars worldwide?
-A grossly negligent mother we're supposed to be rooting for
-A dad who apparently doesn't give a crap
-A horribly incompetent police force that takes one look at the house and instructs the frantic mother to "count her kids again"
-two implausibly stupid criminals and an impossibly precocious 8-year-old setting insanely elaborate booby traps that only millions of dollars and a screenwriter of John Hughes' calibur could have produced