Andrew

I think it's very sweet that they keep tabs on each other.

Would anyone be interested in hearing my Crash Test Dummies/Hanson mash-up album "Mmm Mmm Mmm Bop"?

Hi Sam, a microphone is anything that turns sound into electricity. This could be the devices you might have seen around the studios that people talk into, this turns their human language (sound) into computer language (electricity). Or, a wind turbine turning the noise of the wind ("wwwhhhshsshhhshshshhhssshhhhshh") into electricity is also technically a microphone. So are those Clapper switches. The opposite of a microphone is a speaker (the technical term is "macrophone"). This is anything that converts electricity into sound, like a pair of headphones. Even a person screaming due to electrocution falls under the legal definition of a speaker.

Why does everyone keep making scripts in a typewriter font? It's like, we have Times New Roman now guys!

Another PG question! I'm 2 for 38! All these dogs and cats are getting pretty boring, surely someone has a different kind of pet? Anyone socially maladjusted enough to have a lizard?

People's "like"-threshold's have a really wide range here. Is there any official guidance on what should be liked? I'm really uncomfortable not being told what to like, because left to my own devices I end up liking Garden State and The Eagles and stuff and then people have to tell me that I shouldn't like those things because they're lame.

BOOO, TOO SOON.

We did NOT flop, we just chose to take some tactical defeats. It sets up a great 'underdog' narrative for when we crush Costa Rica 10-1, (and relying on Italy winning both their games helps to foster a greater sense of European trust and confidence). They're pretty good, I guess. I have a dog, but I'm mildly allergic to her, so when I kiss and hug her it's actually like a perfect example of sacrificial love, yeah? i.e. She makes me sneeze, but I still rub her dumb face because she loves it.

I think cool cats are OK to post here, you'd need to confirm with an admin probably. I personally identify as more of a hepcat. Edit: 100th post, pop the champagne.

What's with all these posters and their cats? Hayes has a cat, Freja has a cat, VB has a cat, I think Sean has a cat? It's like, "you don't need a cat to post here, but it helps!" (P.S. Mr Anchorman I'm willing to discuss licensing that phrase for possible merch opportunities)

PSA TO PARDO, CAPATCH, AND LENNON: This is the real Andrew posting, 'my' last few posts were all written by Chanson, any insults were entirely his responsibility (I love the name Oliver). I think he hacked my account, please send any and all legal threats/hired goons to his address.

Ohgodohgodohgod I didn't know this, does anyone know how to delete posts from here? I CANNOT let these H-wood titans know I inadvertently insulted their sons' names.

Guys, what's your least favourite name? Mine is "Oliver". (Just stirring up some debate, we're not even at Post Two-Hundo yet.)

And not to get all British again, but AREN'T YOU GUYS ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE WORLD CUP?!

23, turning 24 in July. Which makes me about a month older than Mr Treese, so it really grates that he's got all this disposable income to spend on tables when I'm sat here in this cardboard box under a bridge. Ms Parham - you had a baby in April last year. Jessica St. Clair had a baby in October last year. Do you think she did this to copy you? Is it annoying to have such a clingy hanger-on as a "friend"? Also, could you explain how you get a baby? My parents told my school that I wasn't allowed to be in the lessons about babies. Do you have to eat a seed? Where can I buy the seeds? Mr Grawley, you haven't put a podcast out for over a year. Is that due to laziness or mere incompetence? Sean and Hayes manage to put one out every week, so come on, step up your game.

Great script, loved it... just some minor notes mainly on how to save money for the production: 1. You could save money on sets and props by moving all the scenes to one location, like a shared house. 2. Scripted characters need auditions, actors, writers, time to learn lines, and so on - if you use regular members of the public you can skip a lot of that! They can come up with their own lines and even wardrobe. 3. Encourage audience participation - maybe some mechanism where the audience could express their opinion on the show, like being able to vote off their least favourite character. 4. If you don't go with professional actors then the "cast" will want some sort of incentive to be on the show, so there should be a sort of reward or prize available. But otherwise a great first draft, lots of potential just waiting to be released!

Woah woah woah... radishes are bad, but they're not celery bad.

I think the Treese/McGurl feud will surely lead to a tragic end, but damn if we aren't getting some amazing music out of it.

They should call it 'Chips' because that's what the UK calls fries! (Frys = fries!)

1. Everyone in the UK enjoys golden showers, it's why our teeth are renowned for their distinctive yellow hue. Urine is sterile so it's OK. 2. If a hard man came running at me with a hard peener, I would be even more scared so I don't think it takes away from it, if anything it makes the whole package more scary because a hard peener is like a meaty lance (if you're built like a H or a S). 3. We try and have as many slang terms for lady parts as we do for man parts, it's all part of our national commitment to gender equality. (Hahaha that's a joke, our main newspaper has a topless lady on the third page everyday, we are really awful at gender equality)

ugh NO you keep calling things chips - WE DON'T SAY CHIPS, we say CRISPS. And we don't have 'fries' we have CHIPS. Your CHIPS and our CHIPS are completely different things so your joke doesn't work.

You still don't understand. WHAT YOU CALL CHIPS, WE CALL CRISPS. No-one has fish and crisps, that would be strange. We have fish and chips, which you might know as fish and fries.

I wondered about growing my brand but I think Film Crit Hulk has cornered the big letter market. I know you think you're being funny with the chips thing but actually we call them crisps. I can answer any other questions you have about the UK (honlads can too probably, but he'll do it in a funny accent).

Stealing a TV would have been pointless because your plugs are missing 33% of their prongs. I am hereby launching my campaign for Best HH Forum Poster 2014 so your analysis is very heart-warming. Not sure if I'll be able to stand up to Big Money candidates like Mr Treese but I'll try to do my best for the little guy, i.e. you. (I called my sister to help me with my big letters, she pressed a capslock and now I have small letters again. Thanks sis, big kisses for you!)

WE DON'T HAVE BEST BUY, IS THAT LIKE CURRYS OR PC WORLD OR DIXONS? ALSO WE DON'T HAVE GEEKS WE HAVE BOFFINS OR SWOTS. ALSO I ALREADY HAVE A MAC, THAT IS LIKE A RAINCOAT BUT OUR WORD FOR IT, HAHAHAH. FUN BEST BUY ANECDOTE, WHEN I WAS IN ARIZONA (PLS SEE PREV. THREAD) I WENT TO A BEST BUY AND IT WAS ENORMOUS, AS IN THE LENGTH OF TWO FOOTBALL PITCHES AT LEAST, AND I SAID "IS THIS A TYPICAL SIZED SHOP OR IS THIS NORMAL?" IN MY CHARMING ACCENT AND THE MAN STOOD BY THE DOOR (THEY HAVE MEN STANDING BY DOORS THERE TO SAY HELLO TO YOU, IT WAS WEIRD) SAID IT WAS PRETTY NORMAL. ALSO I WENT TO ANOTHER PLACE CALLED FRY'S AND I WAS JOKED "I THINK IT'S SPELLED 'FRIES'" BUT ONLY IN MY HEAD, ANYWAY THE POINT OF THIS STORY IS THE WHOLE PLACE HAD AN 'AZTEC TEMPLE' MOTIF, ALSO THAT ONE WAS HUGE TOO.