Andrew

INT. HOOTERS - DAY COLT tears his view away from the waitress but his LITTLE BONER stays rock hard. COLT Drop the 'The'. Just 'Shaq'. It's cleaner.

"You know, they say that of all the people who saw Colt meet Shaq that day in Phoenix, everyone went on to have a celebrity sighting of their own. Well, I don't know. Everyone seems to have a story about how they were there, they saw the whole thing... let me tell you, I was really there that day, and I'll tell you what really happened. This guy walks in with a kid - a real skeevy dude too, I mean a take-a-twelve-year-old-to-Hooters looking guy - and once the young'un with him caught a glance of Shaq, you could see his little kiddy eyes get big. And that's not the only thing neither, cus we're talking about a pubescent boy in Hooters, d'ya understand me? I mean his little kiddy dick was getting hard? You understand? I'm talking about this boy's penis filling up with blood at the sight of all those big naturals? Anyway, he took a photo with Shaq or some bullshit, I don't care."

Trip is over now. My review: San Diego: they have a big zoo. They have a big boat. They have a big hotel. Not bad. Los Angeles: they have stuff you see in movies but they have it in real life. Also if you go there you can meet Sean and Hayes and be on show, at least in my experience. You can buy a really expensive mimosa but they will keep refilling it and get you really drunk before you see the dinosaur movie. Matt Besser will talk to you at his theatre about being British. Phoenix: I didn't see Shaq in any Hooters, so I think the whole thing might be a hoax. But it was 110°F/45°C, so my eyeballs had melted. Overall I do recommend America, I give it 8/10. I deducted one point for the weirdly large gaps on toilet stall doors and another one because I didn't get to meet Max The Hero Dog.

Congrats Steve! What job you do?

I meant to join the hangout but I was busy being not having a charged phone on the way to Tucson. Also I thought it was at 11pm, but apparently America has multiple 11pms, so that's a funny trick to play on innocent tourists, huh. Anyway you can pay me all the compliments you would have given me right here on this thread, starting... NOW.

I'm reliably informed that my joke should actually have been 6 parts. Very sorry and I love Ireland and kiss the Barney Stone and isn't Father Ted funny and up the RA.

This thread as many posts as there are days of summer - 500!

It's probably one to miss tbh.

Hi Erin, 1. Are the Wild Horses blood in, blood out? Do you think you'll ever get out of the game? 2. When you did that Funny Or Die video about the cops, did you know that Let's Be Cops was going to come along and drop the mic on cop comedies? 3. Was I too shy? Did I seem cold? Sorry. Yours truly, Andrew

Well Anastasia, if you snooze then you will lose. I have some holiday notes too: - I went to a Wal-Mart and it had a McDonald's in it, which seemed a bit excessive - I saw a lizard - I went to a pub and it said fish and chips were a traditional Irish staple

Notes: - Spelling out .com bussing me up one minute in - Ehh wrong theme tune is best theme tune, sorry Tim - I watched Spy and isn't that feminism - Hayes keeps saying y'all and I like it because I do see him as a Tami Taylor type - Too soon to joke about all that tea - New engineer surprise made me jump - The 'dumb children' personas are getting younger and younger, and I love it - Scotty Doesn't Know is hands down my favourite RSS moment

USA, get ready for me to be inside you.

Noice. Post it again in the main thread to collect those likes, baybeeeee.

Happy birthday to forum bigshot Joe.

Wasn't this episode great everybody?! Show that appreciation for this episode by hitting that like button!

I assume these are hurling terms. If they aren't then you really missed an opportunity for a funny good joke.

This shows a pretty amateurish understanding of the game to be honest. Going straight for the Snitch might make sense on paper, but think about having to find a walnut on a football field - how long would that take you? Now it's constantly moving. Now introduce altitude. Not to mention the two Beaters aiming Bludgers at you. Not to mention the flying around on a stick. And during all this, then the other team only has to have a 15 goal lead to negate the effort of catching the Snitch. Any team with a strong Beater pair and a methodical Quaffle strategy should be able to beat a team with a hotshot Seeker.

Mr Matthews, 1) You work on "Live from E!". What's Kevin Connolly like in real life? 2) Are you into 'Scope yet? You gotta, brah. 3) Your boyfriend is called Mr Camarena. Do you ever call him Mr Macarena? Will you, now I've suggested it? Please?

To whoever does the wiki: I was on the first call-in episode too. Listen out for my "Shark Tale" zinger slaying.

Yeah, not every really gets Brett Gelman. I thought it was hilarious, though.

I know I'm a bit late on this one, but Sean's dad only letting him play Goldeneye on paintball mode is so funny to me.

Surely you have potato waffles in America?

I luh it

I would make this my avatar, but I feel like I have too much invested in the Zissou brand now.

When I woke up there were 5 unread threads this morning. No. No. No. No more new threads. If you have a funny idea or post, put it in the main thread please and thank you. I apologise that this is not funny, but I can't tell you how long I've tried to figure out a "one thread" joke and I'm coming up trumps. Maybe something like "let's keep this forum like a silkworm's cocoon - one thread!" but that sucks. I throw it open for the floor.