Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

Mr Chocran, a Google Image Search reveals a lot of topless photos of you. Do you think this kind of work will hinder your future showbiz career?

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

I went to New York last week and had to leave my 5 star hotel suite in Manhattan for two days to go a wedding in New Jersey. I swear I saw upwards of TEN BUGS! I honestly don't know how you flyover people can live like that. I guess when your jobs are just pushing dumpsters back and forth across parking lots you get used to it...

 

I went to Arizona on holiday (too hot, please fix that) and I saw multiple lizards. On the ground, just scuttling around, and no-one seemed to care that these people lived among LIZARDS like that was a normal thing to see everyday.

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

I don't have a crew neck or a turtleneck

 

It's more like a shawl collar?

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

I met someone called Agata today, I thought it was a made-up internet handle like 'OcterDoctopus' or 'Chanson', but it's a real-life lady name.

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

 

Also noteworthy is:

 

1) Andrew is British. He's really British. If he was American and faking it by using words like "bloody" and "wanker", he's be a cigarette (get that funny joke?).

...

6) Hayes and Sean don't post here that much. I'm pretty sure they only occasionally even read it. They advertise on the show that you can talk to them here, but they're big-leaguing you. But you can't complain, because they're the alpha dogs and if you don't pay them 'spect then you're one of the dumpster people.

 

First of all, I don't know how you worked out I'm bloody British, I think I've kept it a bleedin' secret you bloody Yank. Apples and pears, you havin' a larf? God Save The Queen, what what? How did you do it, trace my IP address or something?

 

And I've seen HayzieBone pop up on the Online Users list way more often than you'd think, so I figure he's always here, silently watching.

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

Bloody Chanson, what a wanker.

 

(Sorry, just meeting my Chanson-bashing quota)

[Episode 35 — Mikal Cronin, Our Close Friend]

H+S reading the "You're Still The One" scene made my peener tingle.

 

I don't know who this Mike L. Cronut is, but the 'man + guitar' shtick is a total rip-off of Nick Thune's act. Shame on him.

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

tim please stay safe, I watched a film about gangs and they can be very scary so don't insult anyone or wear any coloured bandanas.

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

I think I have a pretty strong case and am looking to expand my wealth by 3.5 million dollars now. (1 million for every extra minute I had to wait)

 

3.5 million dollars isn't cool, you know what's cool? 3.5 billion dollars.

 

(a billion is a hundred million so it's a hundred times as cool)

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

tbh i dont have an opinion about any of those things

 

Probably because you had a abstinence-only sex education sponsored by amerikkkan Chri$tianity™, yes?

 

Europe is #1 best country in the world, woo-hoo!

 

Seriously, brah, get educated, people are eating chicken periods and no-one is doing anything about it.

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

Anyone else think it's weird that a human woman lays eggs like a bird sort of, but a chicken is much smaller than a lady but lays a bigger egg? And we eat the eggs from a chicken but not a lady? Is a chicken egg a chicken period? Is there a Professor Blastoff about this?

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

I actually don't like ANY religions, and I thought that this forum was going to be a respite from all the Crazy Christians, and Organised Religion is actually such a SCAM I can't believe people FALL for it. More jokes:

 

Judaism = Boo-daism

Hinduism = Hin-don't-ism

Jainism = Painism, in the butt-ism.

 

Btw, does anyone know how much Bill Maher pays for jokes?

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

unrelated to the episode but im looking for a cohost for a christian podcast, holyword goodbook, pls apply via pms or facbook

 

I'm no comedienne or anything but maybe you could do a joke where you say 'Pope' but it's actually 'Poop'? Not sure how to word it.

[Episode 34 — David Wain, Our Close Friend]

Very good interesting episode, esp. re: stunt work.

 

True story: when I was a kid I thought if a movie had stunt/death scenes they would find people who actually wanted to die, then kill them on screen for real.

 

I was a dark kid, but also, kind of a genius?

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

I refuse to hear any forum members voice. I assume all of you are actually a-list celebrities like I am, and I don't want the illusion shattered.

I'm actually Jeff Bridges.

 

Can't fool me, your picture makes it too obvious, everyone knows you're Colin Hanks with a fake beard.

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

Mr Wains, will you ever work with your brothers? I looooved White Chicks but it needed that "David" touch, y'know?

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

Does anyone know if forum posts are eligible for the Nobel Prize for Literature? Think we have some contenders here...

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

There is just SO MUCH MONEY to be made in a S+H/Twilight mashup (Edward=Sean, Jacob=Hayes (obviously)), but I know they would never sign off on allowing their likenesses to be used for vampires and werewolves

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

You didn't mention me, which was surely intentional, but I forgive you. Although I never forget.

[Episode 33 — Anders Holm, Our Close Friend]

 

I'm no scientist, but don't I need that blood in other parts of my body to keep me alive? Come on, man. Don't take me as a fool.

 

You dummy, your body makes more blood during the s*x. What do you think comes out of your peener when you're done?

[Episode 32 — B.J. Novak, Our Close Friend]

What's a "D" "M" "X"? Is that like a DMV?

 

I could post a bunch of English celebrities and you'll be all "Yeehaw, howdy y'all, I reckon I cain't recognise that there fella, now I believe I was fixin' myself a big ol' plate 'o grits" but I DON'T because I'm considerate.

[Episode 32 — B.J. Novak, Our Close Friend]

Is that a famous person, because I don't know who that is, but I assume he's a very important famousman because he has to multitask phone call AND picture.

[Episode 32 — B.J. Novak, Our Close Friend]

Hey guys I couldn't donate any money this month (just bought a sick jet ski cash only) so my donation is a song. I made you guys a song to play to explain the Popcorn Gallery to guests. I worked really hard on it so definitely please use it. And please not in post... Please use it live so the guest can hear it too I think it will actually SAVE us all time.

 

https://drive.google...dit?usp=sharing

 

EDIT: And before anyone asks... No I actually haven't been classically trained as a singer! My church just says I have a knack for being on key. Too much talent in one body! Thanks the Lord Jesus Christ for my blessings!

 

Loooooovved the song, very Billy Joel-esque.

[Episode 32 — B.J. Novak, Our Close Friend]

Burdrulz, what do you have against Bill Bur?

[Episode 32 — B.J. Novak, Our Close Friend]

I have a BMW, a Porsche, a MonsterTruck, a house, and 30 companies. S**k my d**k!

 

lolol. can someone please remind which episode this is again??

Ep #38 - I Have 30 Companies (Jon Gabrus)