Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Andrew-

What is your favorite band? Excuse me - favourite band

 

After consulting my Top 25 Most Played, my favourite band appears to be Vampire Weekend, which surprised me, because I'm not super into them. But the stats don't lie.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Andrew,

 

How do you feel about part-time suckers? Do you think should just go all in or get out the game? Or do you respect them for splitting time between interests?

 

I don't understand the question, nor do I wish to.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Andrew here, AMA.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

You should all aspire to be Andrew, I'm pretty great.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

I was not to crazy about the Incesant talk of skellingtons especially when the xylophone player in the roots started going off on one of his little Solos when I had the jimmy falcon show playing on my tv in the background. I realy like Hayes and Sean but idk a subscription may be pulled soon if this type of malicious talk become the norm on this show

 

We all did this once. Don't judge this man.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Dear Paul,

 

A man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river. He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing. If the fox and the chicken are left together, the fox will eat the chicken. If the chicken and the corn are left together, the chicken will eat the corn. How does the man do it?

 

Kind regards,

 

Andrew

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Hayes is on Who Charted this week, by the way.

[Episode 98 — John Cochran Again, Our Close Friend]

Heynong man.

[Episode 97 — Julie Klausner, Our Close Friend]

I think they have their own special section of the forums where Sean and Hayes actually interact with them.

 

It's a Howl Premium thing.

[Episode 97 — Julie Klausner, Our Close Friend]

What up what up guys, it's me, Andrew!

 

I'm a big fan of Hollywood Handbook (too scary! Am I right!!!) and I'm looking to get back into the forums.

 

What do I need to do? I can't do big long fan fictions but I can do a pretty good Sean impression. Frankingstein!

[Episode 95 — Mike Still, Our Close Friend]

Mr Sharping,

 

1) I haven't listened to your show. What episode should I start with?

 

2) have you ever made it with a girl? What's that like?

[Episode 95 — Mike Still, Our Close Friend]

You can sing regular Happy Birthday now, there was a new law I read about in News. Maybe they'll cut out that scene from the Simpsons now.

 

P.S. Yes, many thanks to Anastasia for putting this all together, thanks to Earwolf for their forums and for releasing Hollywood Handbook, thanks to no wait I'm not done, turn off that music, no I have so much more to say

[Episode 95 — Mike Still, Our Close Friend]

Happy birthday Sean or whatever. You don't even need to play that video, you can just enjoy that thumbnail. Pretty sexy if you ask me.

[Episode 93 — Patrick Walsh, Our Close Friend]

I just spent a week with my nephews who are 3 years old and they kept doing these Sean and Hayes impressions where they talk like people who dont have full control over their primary language. It was fun.

 

Oof, I dunno, sounds bad, man. People doing the Sean and Hayes impressions gets old pretty fast.

[Episode 93 — Patrick Walsh, Our Close Friend]

Argh, I totally forgot! It was my birthday on Saturday, so you can all wish me a belated happy birthday now.

 

P.S. loved the Lad Bible stuff.

[EPISODE 92 — Fans, Our Close Fans]

I'm not going to read through 22 pages. Can someone summarise the thread so far, please?

[EPISODE 360 — Snow Dome]

Personally my favourite part of the show isn't the plugs, it's the ads.

 

So I compiled all the Sean and Hayes ad spots into one hour-long episode. Enjoy.

[Episode 91 — Tom Scharpling, Our Close Friend]

This is all the CBB ad spots, which I clipped out and compiled into a hour-long 'episode' with my own two mouse buttons.

 

Gimme that popular star.

[Sean and Hayes - Ads on Comedy Bang Bang]

Well, it went quicker than I expected.

 

https://soundcloud.com/a-nye-123/sean-and-hayes-cbb-ad-spots

 

If I'm being naughty by making that downloadable then someone tell me please.

[Sean and Hayes - Ads on Comedy Bang Bang]

Best make it four.

[Sean and Hayes - Ads on Comedy Bang Bang]

I'm doing this project right now actually! The Audacity project files have been sitting on my desktop for a couple of weeks, just give me a quick month or two to finish up. Maybe three.

[Episode 91 — Tom Scharpling, Our Close Friend]

 

This is a rock formation near where I live that I visited recently. It is called the Devil's Chimney. Thank you for listening.

[Episode 88 — Neil Campbell, Our Close Employee]

LAWYER: Mr. Barton, do I have your full attention?

COLT BARTON: [stares out the window] No.

LAWYER: Do you think I deserve it?

COLT BARTON: [looks at lawyer] What?

LAWYER: Do you think I deserve your full attention?

COLT BARTON: I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don't want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.

LAWYER: Okay - no. You don't think I deserve your attention.

COLT BARTON: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at that Hooters in Phoenix, where my dad and I met a man that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of beating at H-O-R-S-E.

[pauses]

COLT BARTON: Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

[Episode 88 — Neil Campbell, Our Close Employee]

INT. HOOTERS - DAY

 

COLT tears his view away from the waitress but his LITTLE BONER stays rock hard.

 

COLT

Drop the 'The'. Just 'Shaq'. It's cleaner.

[Episode 88 — Neil Campbell, Our Close Employee]

"You know, they say that of all the people who saw Colt meet Shaq that day in Phoenix, everyone went on to have a celebrity sighting of their own. Well, I don't know. Everyone seems to have a story about how they were there, they saw the whole thing... let me tell you, I was really there that day, and I'll tell you what really happened. This guy walks in with a kid - a real skeevy dude too, I mean a take-a-twelve-year-old-to-Hooters looking guy - and once the young'un with him caught a glance of Shaq, you could see his little kiddy eyes get big. And that's not the only thing neither, cus we're talking about a pubescent boy in Hooters, d'ya understand me? I mean his little kiddy dick was getting hard? You understand? I'm talking about this boy's penis filling up with blood at the sight of all those big naturals? Anyway, he took a photo with Shaq or some bullshit, I don't care."