Salmoneus

Trailer: https://www.youtube....bed/khoAYSvFnoA I'm kinda baffled by this movie. The production value is surprisingly good for a story that starts right away with a ghost sex scene, involves lust demons, back boobs, coffee fingering, penis impalement and cheesy acting. In some strange way, it reminded me of Verhoeven's Hollow Man in tone and the lopsided mix of horror and erotica. It's equal part Argento homage and old school horror schlock tribute. I feel it would be the kind of episode where they could even get the director of the movie. It's apparently a remake of an 80s film but this version is available on Netflix.

"Video phones"; out of context Star Wars quotes; a depressed overbearing dad portrayed by Kevin Pollak; a toddler getting riled up watching Girls Gone Wild; the term "punking" being used nonchalantly in 2008; sociopathic mean girls; Ashley Tisdale; A feature length ad for a goofy looking LG phone passed as a movie; and much more... There is so much to unpack in this TV movie. It's all over the place. It's AGGRESSIVELY antiquated and has some crazy scenes that make no sense. I NEED some answers from Pollak to know what was going on in this set. Watch it.

"Look Up. Look Down. Stand Up. Leave" "The Black Guy dies anyway" "They are coming to your room... And they brought their Black Light" "Shut the blinds. Argue all the time. Die one by one." "You can't run. You can't hide. So just open your eyes and die quickly"

Someone once said "Laughter is the physiological response for acknowledging the awkwardness of the moment"... That person was me. More seriously, Rablais said "To laugh is proper to man". But is it really? Contrary to general belief, the spotted hyena doesn't actually laugh, it's just our need to anthropomorphize the behavior of the animal, in an attempt to rationalize said behavior. When a human is heard laughing: *From a Human's perspective: he is laughing like a hyena. *From a Hyena's perspective: he is communicating like a hyena. Even if the last statement is not totally accurate, the hyena only emits that familiar sound in response of different stimuli: fright, excitement, while on a hunt, to make itself known... But none of those have anything to with enjoyment, pleasure or humour. One the other hand, take rats for example: As seen on the video: if tickled, rats emits sounds that ultimately were identified as actual laughter.Leaving the Animal Kingdom, Professor McGraw recently made some pretty interesting discoveries on the subject: laughter comes from an urge to express safety. http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/04/ff_humorcode/all/1 But laughter occurs in very different situations and for very different reasons: _ Socially, it might come in the form of: * A bonding and contagious occurrence for some (thanks to the existence of mirror neurons for example): http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/getArticle.cfm?id=2167 * A humiliating experience for others: http://www.economist.com/node/4246393?Story_ID=4246393 * A sign of mental illness (Mass Hysteria): http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2003-07-29/features/0307290281_1_laughing-40th-anniversary-village _ Alone, it might provide a brief instant of sweet relief. In excess, it becomes associated with madness: http://neuro.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/17/4/447 _ With Stand Up Comedy, it becomes a currency and a sign of acknowledgment. Just a few examples of the impact of such a trivial, yet so complex process that is laughter. So that's it. A very obvious subject but thought it should be pointed out.

It is, hands down, the worst movie I've ever seen. This movie is so wrong and offessive, everytime this movie arrives in an neighborhood (should it be bought or ranted), must go around the block and make itself known to every neighbor, 'cause thist movie WILL psychologically harrasse every person who lays their eyes upon it. People take showers to rub away the indelible mark that it leaves in their soul. The Military use screenshots of Dan Fogler (taken from this movie and can only be seen through a spectrograph) in their torture mix-tapes. Dan Fogler's career is still unable to recover for having crossed paths with that movie. Eddie Murphy felt "okay" with his recent movies after watching "Good Luck Chuck" (retroactively), even his fat suit warmed up with confidence and pride after feeling the shamelessness of the writers (one of whom never wrote anything else since) and producers of that film. Dane Cook speaks more openly about stealing jokes than his involvement in this disaster. People immediately forgave Jessica Alba for the two Fantastic Four movies after watching this flick. People shame-walk their way to home after I forced them to watch it. It is so bad, that everything that I said thus far, while not making much sense perhaps, will be universally understood throughout the globe, even to non-English speaking foreigners. Everyone needs to watch this, even outside the realm of HDTGM, just so each and every one of you will share the burden that this movie selfishly throws at its audience. Just watch the first 5 minutes: if you don't feel your soul starting to rot or your stomach incoherently growling; or your brain gradually soring, it means that you already watched it (or that you watched "My Best Friend's Girl", a movie which, objectively, might not be as bad, but still is as devastating and insulting to the human mind)