wakefresh

I have one story about Andi MacDowell. She lived in Asheville, NC in the early 2000s, and the town where I lived, Winston-Salem, wanted to have a film festival. I was working at the city paper at the time, and got extra tickets since no one on staff was really interested in going, save for the entertainment reporter who had to be there. I took a girl I was dating at the time to the festival and flashed my press badge around. We got into little premiere parties, saw "Bowling for Coloumbine", and had total access. It was very cool and we felt very important to be mingling with Hollywood people, or as Hollywood as people you could get to come to Winston-Salem. Andi was the feature attraction for the festival. And let me just tell you, she was feeling herself hard that day. Her nose was turned up so high it was touching the clouds. They had an opening ceremony where she said a little speech that had the energy of soggy Frosted Flakes. She looked like she wasn't that pleased to be there...until the party afterward where mobs of people flocked to her. Then she had a big smile on her face. You would have thought Beatle-mania had returned by the reactions of people at the party. It was just a bad look to have, ya know? It made the people of the city appear more backwater and hickish than it was. Not to take anything away from her success, but her heyday was the late 80s to mid 90s. This is 2003 or so when she came to Winston. I get it, man. be excited for the event and the vibe it brings, but no one (the mayor's wife, included) should be crying when they meet Andi MacDowell. That's bonkers.

I give this episode Two Snaps With A Bang Bang!

Keanu Reeves and Andie MacDowell are both actors from the Having-A-Stroke method of acting. This is a close cousin of the Impersonating-A-Person-With-Downs method of acting and are sometimes confused by if an actor is a adherent to one, they usually are very familiar with the other. If you listen to the Devil's Advocate ep, Jason and the guest talk this school, which apparently was very famous in NY when they both living there.

Is this a freaking musical? I wonder if they have a cut of this where Willis goes into a harmonica solo. He loves to play to the harmonica.

I would jump on a moving train to bone 1990s Cindy Crawford. Whether or not I would make it is another story, but I would definitely try.

I had to go to IMDB to make sure Pete Holmes didn't have a part, however small, in this movie.

Could you get a screenshot of the ragdoll Cindy Crawford flying out of the exploding house? I would to get a Fair Game meme going.

He was on the Jaws 3 episode.

I love the technobabble approach. There is no end of funny ass shit that comes out character's mouths when they are talking about computers, networking, etc. [media=''] [/media]

My gut leans toward option B. I feel like if it was something strictly against her values, she would have told her friend after dumping the guy.

Lord yes, they are gonna hate.

That guy has definite issues -- self-loathing, intimacy issues, self-esteem issues. The list is exhaustive. What I'm more interested in is whether or not the girl followed through the request. I'm guessing that she did because like attracts like, so she probably has just as many or more issues than the guy.

It looks like all of the Tea Party mouthbreathers followed a link from The Drudge Report and spewed out their racism. But I'm glad that he made the video if it pisses out idiots like that.

Yeah, I can see that. He's logging into another server and then is changed to root user. That's why the percent sign next to the command changes to a hash sign by the time he types in "/usr/local/..." But that Cryllic it looks like he's running a command, because he has a flag and piping it into another program. Does anyone know Cryllic?

He would order that the book be re-released with his name as author and a new forward written by himself. Also, the back cover for both paperback and hardback editions should just be a huge picture of him.

Or that he would add it to the startup scripts that run when the computer boots. Just do chkconfig <service name>. Another thought I had was that what if the Cyrillic stuff that printed out before he had to type "/usr/bin.." was the program compiling. Does the g++ compiler do internationalized compile messages? If so, that's not a good way to run software. Olaf should have added a module that accepts argument variables in addition to the pizza payment module.

Well, everyone knows that Russia uses Linux because Linux is communist. This is what Bill Gates said about Linux when it was getting attention (circa 1995). I actually think it was a subtle "fuck you" to Linux. Like in Red Dawn where all the bad guys drink Pepsi because Coke put some money behind the movie. But that was a full blown program he had running. It had a GUI interface! I like to think that it was this piece of software that was passed down from kill team to kill team. Olaf's addition was the pizza payment module. When Cindy Crawford paid for a pizza with her credit card, he was like "fuck yeah! I'm gonna get to use this now!"

Also, you guys know that the Main Bad Guy in this is the exact same bad guy that was in The Tourist, right? Maybe he's playing the same character, like Richard Belzer does with Det. Munch? If that's the case, then it makes for an interesting continuation into another horrible movie with shitty acting. Just for the record, I don't think its this guy's fault. He has a "Russian" look and an accent so casting agents put him in anything that calls for a "foreign" bad guy.

I would like to take a moment for the computer specialist guy, who I called Olaf while watching the film, and his arc. He was the workhorse of the kill squad but never got any respect. If you look closely, while he was typing it was all in Cyrillic and then switched to English where he was obviously using a Linux distro (maybe RedHat, which was popular at the time, and still is) to track Billy Baldwin and Cindy Crawford. And if you know anything about Linux, that program that he ran was in the /usr/bin folder.That means the kill-Cindy-Crawford-program was not a standard install with the distro he was using, which means he had to actually hand code that. I like to think the pizza payment module he wrote after getting high with the Russian Chick Who Was Stabbed In The Pussy and ordering pizza from that same establishment. While eating a slice, Olaf thought to himself, "if we were ever chasing someone down, they probably would try to get pizza. I better write an extension to the tracker program that will account for that. Better safe than sorry." Still, he gets no respect from the rest of the team. They laugh at him. They say he only pecks at a keyboard while they do the real business of killing. That is why he is so insistent on the van he is in capturing Cindy Crawford during the highway chase scene. Olaf figures that if he is the one that captures Cindy Crawford (and those sweet, sweet tits) that he will finally get the respect he so badly wants. That's why he yells at one point, "it's only a woman driving the car! Get her!" He's so close to the respect that he wants that he won't let Cindy Crawford's braless driving get in his way. But alas, it is not meant to be. Olaf gets blown the hell up. In those final, brief moments, I wonder what Olaf thought of? Did his mind drift back to the late night talks with Stabbed Pussy Woman? To the children he never fathered? To his first encounter with the the Main Bad Guy? Maybe Olaf's final thoughts were of a younger version of himself, at home with his family on the shores of the Black Sea, tinkering with his uncle's transistor radio. I weep for Olaf. He dies a death that all criminal programmers do. His life is a lesson to all programmers, sysadmins, and developers who would seek to use their powers for evil. Just don't do it. You'll be the one of the first to go and it will be in a spectacular fashion.

Didn't know it was a dating sim (what is that? like a pickup artist thing?), but I was talking about the movie with Sam Jackson.

Here's a question for the writers on here: if you are that author, do you give two shits that there were two very bad movies that "used" your book as source material and just cash the check....or do you lobby studios/production companies to get a movie that faithfully follows the book (well, as much as a movie can)?

Also, I believe those other scenes that Crawford shot were of her rubbing her breasts while reciting Hamlet. That way the studio execs know that she's down to be sexy but also dedicated to the craft of acting.

Wait a second...that would have been a good movie if it was Stallone and Geena Davis was in this. Geena Davis was coming off of A Kiss Before Midnight and she was REAL good in that. Maybe all of those actresses turned this down because of the braless running?

I love this woman!!! Also, I have the same problem with white yoga teachers. But I take solace in the fact that Indian guys rip them off of thousands of dollars by just growing a beard and wearing a white robe.

I bet you good money Christopher Plummer was coked out of his head while doing this movie, and spent most of his time either doing drugs or chatting up the ladies that played the Amazons.