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ianbauer

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Status Updates posted by ianbauer

  1. ianbauer

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  2. ianbauer

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  3. ianbauer

    Every time you feel your phone buzz but don't get a text or email, an angel gets its wings.

  4. ianbauer

    Talking about politics on Facebook is like talking about politics to a dog. Not much change takes place but your opinions have been heard. If you want to make a difference, find out your state representative's office hours and talk politics with him/her.

  5. ianbauer

    Google, you've outdone yourself.

  6. ianbauer

    I am older than I once was and younger than I’ll be but, that’s not unusual. After changes upon changes we are more or less the same.

  7. ianbauer

    I love that movie Memento where the dude Instagrams everything so he can kill his wife.

  8. ianbauer

    Anytime someone says "Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full" I ALWAYS think of Bah Bah Black Sheep. #ocd

  9. ianbauer

    Not sure if there's a form of punishment severe enough for people that smoke around young children.

  10. ianbauer

    Never forget #9/11. #HoneyBooBoo

  11. ianbauer

    Honey Boo-Boo Child is a type of bear, yes?

  12. ianbauer

    I wanna invent a thing where a mean Jewish guy knocks your stuff over. Call it a Rude Goldberg machine. Seems needed.

  13. ianbauer

    I don't know why people get so excited about music. It's just a bunch of dudes playing G and C and other chords.

  14. ianbauer

    Its tough to admit but Tyler J. Bourbeau is way cooler and better than me. He is the stability I so desperately need in my life.

  15. ianbauer

    Christians should show love to homosexual people. Or as Jesus would refer to them, "people."

  16. ianbauer

    So much to do. What should I start with? I know! None of it! I'll follow that up with a nice stress nap and some Taco Bell. #health

  17. ianbauer

    Maybe I need to make friends and be nice to people to get more Twitter followers.

  18. ianbauer

    Not saying I'm fat and lazy but I just took a nap so dinner would come "soon."

  19. ianbauer

    Wish I could be "popular" on Instagram. But I'm not in One Direction or a sandwhich.

  20. ianbauer

    Dude on the way to my car said "we need the rain." Never thought of it that way. Also he was wearing only boxers. #TrueStory

  21. ianbauer

    I just turned on all the appliances in my kitchen and Skrillex sued me.

  22. ianbauer

    Why's that black guy assaulting that elderly gentleman?! “@BarackObama: Dynamic duo: http://t.co/NVih6erQ”

  23. ianbauer

    Shmeh.

  24. ianbauer

    "Behind every great woman is a great big be-hind!"*snaps 3 times, slaps his butt* - Benjamin Franklin @nottjmiller

  25. ianbauer

    My wife has a fancy electric toothbrush. I'm stuck with this stupid analog one.

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