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Status Updates posted by ianbauer

  1. My twitter! @ianbauer

  2. I'm aware that I'm probably a ignorant 23 year old but can someone tell me something good Santorum has done or said? Solutions he's offered?

  3. I sawr a film today. Oh boy.

  4. What's the deal with observational comedy?

  5. Got 5 tweets in my draft folder waiting to be unleashed to the world. Hold tight, little buddies.

  6. I try to be humble about things but, if you're not on Twitter you're a giant, mouth-breathing, racist hill person.#imho

  7. I hate technology. I was wondering if there was an app that puts mustaches on my pics; two seconds later it's downloading. Too easy.

  8. Somewhere right now, Jerry Seinfeld is wondering what the deal is with his sink not draining.

  9. Just went over to Facebook and checked some status updates. Turns out everyone over there is still whiny and unfunny.

  10. Figured I'll put it out there. Anyone wanna give me a ride to NYC on April 16th?

  11. I love the responses to Liberty University possibly buying the former NMH campus. NMH alumni and Northfield residents don't like the idea of a conservative college that doesn't believe in evolution.“We don’t want it to go to a place that is not open-minded, not willing to listen to the views of others...”Who's the close-minded one?

  12. Owe no one anything, except to love each other.

  13. Hold up, your church's event is gonna have light refreshments? Why didn't you say so!

  14. Had a dream I spoke on the phone with Arianna Huffington.

  15. First time I heard yogurt has culture I was all "Hold up. Yogurt got the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social group?"

  16. You Instagram that? “@BarackObama: A sunny afternoon with mom: http://t.co/lr4LunM9”

  17. I showed my dog this new app and he just sniffs my phone. Uh, not the point, bro!

  18. “@HelloSomebody: Who are some of your favorite tv or movie dads?” Tobias Funkè

  19. Facebook asks "What's on your mind?" to which most people respond "Me."

  20. "We're actors. We don't over react, we just react more than we should." Kristen Wiig as 60's actress, Mindy Gracin

  21. I dislike songs about human love for God. Filthy rags. Sing about Gods love for humans, that's worth singing about. - Matt MacDonald

  22. Were you gone? Hadn't noticed. "@jcoopbrowning: I'M BACK SUCKAHS!"