seanotron

Remember, Howard liked the Star Trek movies, so I think there's no predicting what crazy makemups he'll tolerate.

I'm kind of with the crew on Bruno Mars. He is the most boring talented person ever. My peak Bruno enjoyment was when he played drums for Janelle Monae like 5 years ago. And I'm pretty sure that was mostly just excess Janelle charisma spilling over in his direction. He is unquestionably a technically skilled fella, but his stuff is just so bland and soulless.

I think this movie is super fun to watch. It is awful, but I love the awfulness. The awfulness is downright delightful! I honestly wonder how much better the movie would have been had it had almost any other actor in the lead role. Speaking of which, I suspect Michael Beck edits his own [brief] Wikipedia page as it ends in an odd reference to his 30th wedding anniversary.

The thing is, Single White Female wasn't even that good to begin with, so you're doomed to making a copy of something that already sucked.

The difference being Beatie was born a woman (only later transitioning to a male) and therefore had a uterus that could carry & nurture a baby in the first place.

Paul's Laserdisc library just gets more and more impressive.

This movie was absolutely terrible. And surely this is the real source for the old 'Manic pixie dream girl' trope, as Theron's character literally offers to make the men in her life 'better' and then disappears to die.

I know some folks have grown tired of the unabated march of Howard Kremer's War on Imagination, but he was really on fire in this ep.

A new ep?!?

Bond Girl Name: Rhea Entry

I will continue to insist that Dalton was a great Bond despite Jason's protestations!

This was a problem throughout the Moore era, IMO. Connery was quick-witted but you got the sense he could also snap your neck if you pissed him off. Roger Moore never really pulled off the darker aspects of a character that kills people for a living.

Live and Let Die definitely sits atop the pile of insane Bond flicks. "So we got Yaphet Kotto as our heavy." "Really? Wow, that's great! What's his evil plan going to be? Creating a race of superhumans? Destory the world with a supervolcano? Secretly provoke a war between the US and China?" "We thought we'd have him trying to take over the drug trade with a psychic virgin and his network of henchmen that operate out of his chain of soul food restaurants." "....." "Oh, and we thought we'd throw in voodoo because that will explain why all the islanders stay away from the heroin. Because they're scared of the spirits haunting the area." "......................" "You aren't saying much..." "I'm trying to decide between putting my head in the oven or jumping right out the window."

Grace Jones is a sentient android sculpted out of Martian marble by ancient aliens. No one should feel weird for being attracted to her.

Die Another Day is truly terrible, but as I argued elsewhere I also think it's incredibly un-fun to sit through. No one in that movie is being fun terrible, they're just being generically terrible. The bad guy doesn't even chew the scenery with any aplomb. He just sort of wanders around and yells. Madonna is bad but Madonna is always bad so it's doesn't even leave any kind of impression on you. It's less a movie than a mediocre party that you're glad you left but can't really remember a week later. But A View To A Kill...everyone and everything is so distinctively and uniquely bad. Re-watchably bad. Like 'wait, did I actually hear/see that right?' bad. That snowboarding Beach Boys opening (that isn't even the real Beach Boys!) where Moore literally defies gravity like he's in a goddam Looney Tunes short...Great Grandad Bond sleeping with girls 30+ years younger than he is...that bizarre sex scene with Grace Jones...it's just such an odd but enjoyable mess. PS - I have never understood why people shit on Quantum of Solace so much. Yes, it's a goofy title but I actually appreciate what a lean story it is. I also appreciated that the relationship between Bond & Montes lacked a romantic subtext. In terms of plot and character it's basically just an addendum to Casino Royale but I still thought it was a solid effort.

That's Andy Serkis and I'm about 222% sure he's not doing Yoda. Yoda has been dead for 30 years in the timeline of the movie. And come on man, *none* of the things we love? The trailer ends with a beauty shot of the Millennium Falcon while John Williams' Star Wars fanfare plays fer cryin' out loud!

I'm not angry, Jerry. I'm just disappointed.

Really? Whatever one might think of the prospect of a new Star Wars movie, the trailer is at least pleasing aesthetically. The CGI in this thing looks worse than the CGI in Judgement Day, a movie that is now 23 years old. That shot of Arnold and his robot hand? Oof.

This trailer just reminds me of how angry I was when they cancelled Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Actually, I'm still pretty angry about it. Angry and bitter. Also Genisys is a stupid title. Stupid! Did I mention my anger?

Given recent events, there is no way this episode would be anything other than SO UPSETTING.

Even though I think there are worse Bond movies (Roger Moore's entire run is a real shit pile tbh, aside from The Spy Who Loved Me), I think A View To A Kill is a good pick because it's also fun to watch. You have John Steed, Christopher Walken doing the best Christopher Walken impression ever, and Grace Jones portraying an escaped mental patient. All the ingredients for a good Bond movie were there, but the whole thing tips just far enough over the line that it doesn't quite work.