seanotron

The plot here is that Kurt Russell goes to work for Goldie Hawn's horrible debutante character and she basically humiliates him, refuses to pay him for his work, and then pushes him over the side of her yacht. Later that day, she falls off the side of the yacht and for some reason this gives her amnesia. Kurt then sees her on TV, goes to the hospital she's being treated at, and convinces them he is her husband and kidnaps her. He then uses her as slave labor to take care of his awful children and the filthy shack they all live in. Now, the movie avoids the Unfortunate Implications from becoming, 'Holy crap, did Kurt Russell just rape that amnesiac woman?' by having him avoid sex with her, but this entire scenario is still full of crazy. It also features Lorelei's Dad a.k.a. Head Vampire Max, Johnathan Pryce's stretchy-faced mother, and Roddy McDowall as Cornelius as Peter Vincent. I think this would be fun because it's not a bad movie per se, and is entirely watchable, it's just a nutty setup that I'm not sure would fly today. It also features Goldie Hawn in The World's Most Unflattering Bikinis (but hey it was the 80s, what can you do).

For all your Summah 2014 jamz http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlyDYI_ddZY

I actually like this movie, but it is crazy and ridiculous (and pretty racist). It was critically panned and was not a big box office hit. Plus Gary Busey!

This is one of those movies that I'd seen on TV years and years ago and I think my brain erased all memories of it in a desperate bid to protect my sanity. Let me break this down for the uninitiated - Richard Pryor is an out-of-work reporter who is PURCHASED AS A TOY for Jackie Gleason's son. Let me repeat that, a wealthy white business man buys a black man as a toy for his child. No really, that's the plot of this CHILDREN'S movie. Now when I say he buys him, I guess I should clarify. He pays him a salary to be his child's playmate. That totally makes it LOLROFLMAO, right? Of course, he is then packed in a box and presented to the boy wrapped in a literal bow. The boy spends most of the movie taking every opportunity possible to completely humiliate Richard Pryor, until Richard Pryor spanks him and then they are best buddies. Throughout the movie we are shown that Jackie Gleason's character is absolutely awful, so you have at least some sympathy for the kid and can kind of understand why Richard Pryor feels bad for him. Then we find out that Gleason is having a fundraiser for the KKK. Oh yeah, did I mention this is a kid's movie? So then Pryor teams up with the kid to expose Gleason, and you figure Gleason will go to jail or something and Pryor will adopt the kid. Instead, Gleason comically chases after Richard Pryor in a golf cart and then falls into his pool, where he is rescued from drowning by Richard Pryor. At this point, everyone just shakes hands and walks away, like everything is totally fine. Then we see Gleason taking his kid to a military school, and the kid runs away to Richard Pryor's house. At this point one might assume Pryor will try to get custody or him or help him in some way. Instead, Richard Pryor encourages him to go back and give his dad a chance, then the dad gives Richard Pryor a job and tells the kid when he comes back from military school he can spend a week with Richard Pryor, which everyone seems to think is great. So let me recap that for you - Richard Pryor tells the kid to give his abusive, card-carrying member of the KKK father ANOTHER CHANCE. He then accepts a job from this man.

This has been playing lately on IFC and I had honestly forgotten all about it. Much like Color of Night, it was more famous for its sex scenes than its story. But it's a pretty wacky erotic thriller. Admittedly, it's probably one of Denise Richards better performances, but that's not exactly a strong recommendation. The plot is utter nonsense, with so many reversals and twists it would make M Night dizzy. I think this would be a fun one.

No Michael Myers, and the plot revolves around a warlock with android devil worshipper henchmen trying to murder children with pieces of Stonehenge.

This is a very enjoyable movie. The Nazi imagery is so overt it makes George Lucas look subtle. And because the satire is so broad and crazy, it makes some of the very bad actors (like Van Dien and Richards) look like they're doing a thing instead of just being awful robots that can't act.

Perhaps inexplicably, "By the way, I watched this movie at a Starbucks in Larchmont" is still one of my favorite things June has ever said.

Robert Knepper witnesses the death of his hippie parents as a child in the 60s, then he falls into a river and is rescued & raised by a bag lady who teaches him the ways of the streets. He learns to speak by listening to radio DJs, then grows up to be a Tarzan of the inner city, He swoops down from the rooftops beating up bad guys and giving out food to the homeless. He eventually meets a social worker named Jane, of course.

Just got back from this one and it's so goddamned stupid it hurts. Zero character development (except for one character but then we find out that character was lying the entire time), nonsense plot and a twist that makes Shyamalan look like a master. I suspect this would have provided greater fodder for the podcast than After Earth will. It's just....gah! So stupid. This movie actually made me angry, which is incredibly rare as I have a high tolerance for bad movies.

This was just on TV and I had forgotten how awful it was compared to the original. It just has none of Verhoeven's smart satire. All the attempts to match it are too on the nose. It's a real bummer to watch. Apparently Paul Weller and Nancy Allen were both disappointed with the experience, which is why Weller wouldn't do Robocop 3 and Nancy Allen dies about 5 minutes in.

Just doing my bi-annual check-in to confirm that yes, I still hate this movie so much. SO MUCH YOU GUYS.

This movie is cuckoo bananas. From the director of Poltergeist! The writer of Alien! Space vampires live in the tail of Haley's Comet and want to nude walk around our planet. Starring naked Mathilda May and naked Duane Barry from The X-Files! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqNquDlAanE

I'm hoping 'Arrow' will be an 'in' for her with superhero TV. I'd love a Lexi-directed episode of Agents of Shield.

Until this ep I really thought I was the only weirdo that did this. My grandpa bought me a mini-cassette recorder and I pretty much solely used it to record bits of Star Trek when they were on TV. I honestly could not tell you what the purpose of this act was, but I definitely got some kind of thrill out of it.

Except he's admitted the entire story is made up out of whole cloth. He wasn't there, his wife didn't work there, he didn't work for Merrill Lynch and didn't get a severance from them, he didn't see the 2nd plane hit from the street, etc., etc. I mean he went into heavy detail in that story and none of it actually happened. It's all really weird. I wouldn't be surprised if CC pulls his special, to be honest.

I was just reading about this. I kind of wonder if there's some kind of compulsive lying thing going on, because that Times article also pointed out that he lied about where he went to school. It's all so strange.

Jason is from Massachusetts. I think he talks about it on an ep of Who Chaahted.

I finally saw this and I cannot lie - I LOVED IT. Yes, it is stupid. But enjoyably so.

I think most issues with it would go away if they'd just shot the thing live-action instead of the weird halfway between animation and motion-capture thing.

The arguments on IMDB & Rotten Tomatoes over this are amazing. There are plenty of people saying it just wasn't funny or that it was hilarious and people just weren't getting it, but then there are the people arguing that Will Ferrell was really good and people just won't let him expand into serious roles.