Silvrwoman

Have you guys heard of Podfest? I hadn't until now. HH is scheduled for Sunday. You can pay to stream it. I'll be out of the country praying for WiFi access. https://www.lapodfest.com/sunday-show-schedule/

I loved the end result of the huge buildup to Cody's "spider joke" I like to imagine that Cody knew that his statement itself wasn't funny, but he's been spending the past 6 weekends at Barnes and Noble studying a book probably called something like, "It's Funny, You Just Don't Get It: The Step by Step Guide to Become an Expert of Anti-Comedy in 30 Minutes - Now with Pictures!"

Coincidentally (and this is not a joke), about 45 min ago, I arrived at my parents house to have dinner with the family. My mom says to me, "S (my bro) and C (his GF) have something to show you" And then my brother responds, "Don't worry it's not my dick this time" Then his GF smiles and shows me her engagement ring! So basically, my bro can't even resist making a dick joke, no matter what the occasion.

But it's so hard to resist! My dick I mean

Yea, I'm just now realizing that sentence structure is confusing. I meant "Norm MacDonald (A.K.A. your D) or Norm from the forum." Although, it would be funny if his dad was also named Norm.

Your D, Norm MacDonald, or Norm from the forum?

Guys, stop reinforcing the stereotype that all Hollywood Hanbook fans talk about are their own dicks!

If Mary drops my baby girl tonight, I would name her "Electronic Dance Music"

You kids and your football thing. Hopefully this is just a phase, like silly bandz or bath salts

You should feel remorse for stealing that person's soul. No matter how many you harvest, you will never be immortal, contrary to you're misreading of that fortune cookie you received last year. It said you "shall meet soul mate and live a long and happy life," not "eat soul, mate."

Before I listened to HH, I was living in an unlit pear-shaped room. Although warm, it was extremely wet and dark. It also limited my access to the outside world, as opposed to where I currently live which is only a block away from the bus station (location, location, location). Most of the time, I was pretty happy (my landlord drank a lot), and although it was pretty noisy, the constant chatter didn’t bother me much. “I didn’t want a baby anyway!” “You didn’t want this? Then you shouldn’t have had unprotected sex with our therapist!” “I wouldn’t have had to if you were ever around!” “I’m not around because I’m trying to provide a good life for us.” “Provide a good life for us? Is that what you call trying to sell hand copied Cards Against Humanity decks? The blank cards you use cost more than the authentic game itself; is there nothing I can do to convince you that this business venture of yours will never be profitable?” “Well, I’m sorry I’m not a nuclear physicist or a person who recycles.” “I’m not asking you to be like me; I just wish you wouldn’t put aluminum cans in the trash bin.” “I’d put them in the recycling, but what’s the point when we both know that it most likely won’t be recycled anyway, and…ya know…the emissions. And it’s a conspiracy by the government anyway.” “Ugh. Gulp gulp…I think this wine is corked.” The only sound that bothered me was “Aww can I feel her kick?” At which point, I would incessantly punch the walls of my room with my fists, my only form of communication at the time, to tell them that visitors were not welcome, and to please leave me alone. Unfortunately, this seldom worked. But then my life changed. I started listening to Hollywood Handbook, and eventually gained the courage to move out. My situation is much better these days, as I get to spend most of my waking life at a meaningless job, pay 50% of the income I earn from that job on rent, and have as much light as I can afford.

There were way more posts this time last week on the previous thread, but hardly any nacho jokes. What were we thinking? Let's make up for last week with some more nacho jokes. If baby corn had sex with Babybell cheese, do you think they would birth cute little adorable delicious nachos, or Babybell would have worn protection (his wax wrapper), so not to contribute to overpopulation and increased demand for dwindling resources?

I'd like to apologize for the @Midnight-type question last night. I think one of his nerds must have hacked into my account to post that prompt

Google Glass: Look smart but really just be watching semi-erotic YouTube videos

If this was an advertisement but a rainstorm washed away the words, what was it supposed to be advertising and what was its slogan?

Oh, I thought some letters got cut-off and it was originally supposed to say: CONGRATULATIONS TO MIKEBONETTI FOR COMING ON-TO HAYES AND SEAN'S PODCAST FORUM AND FOR COMPlETiNG A VERY GOOD JOKE ABOUT THE PODCAST REACHING 100 EPiSODES. HE DID THIS VERY SUCCESSFUllY

mikebonetti, what did that cake originally say?

Nope. Noseless sneezes. *Sorry, I tried to make a joke and got lazy

Yee. We yay area ppl should hella kick-it sometime. Tryna use Bay Area slang but it sounds out of pocket coming from me. Yadadamean?

Why does my friend think she needs to explain to me what a "hard out" is? Just because I didn't move to LA like she did, doesn't mean I wouldn't understand: someone on her set urgently needed to buy a motorcycle, right?

Valerie, why? Are you also in the Bay Area?

OK, here's you're chance. Please try to beat him with another Star Trek cat joke that neither of you have thought of up to this point. Here's some help: Spock ears and cat ears. Also, I've noticed that Spock and cats emote similarly. Go!

Ugh JeffParts, save it for your next shipment

Yep

Ok, so just in case you wanted another D pic, here's D weaning my brother off of the teet by introducing him to the good stuff: