Silvrwoman

Lizzy can tell her parents that she's hanging out with me, but then I actually would need to come too just in case. And we should probably stop by my church's ritual sacrifice dance first and pick up a brochure or 2 to prove we were there. Actually, the more I think about it, we should probably just stay for the entire event just in case. Please wear church-appropriate attire (no sneakers), and bring a friend you're not too crazy about. Glad I could help! Edit for Spunky: Jakal, we are probably gonna get hungry, so please bring a couple of the juiciest cantaloupes you can find. Make sure to carry them up high, near your nipples, as to not strain your back.

I don't like any posts, no offense everyone

I'm Charlize Theron preparing for my role as serial killer Aileen Wuornos. Does that make me a monster?

This new guy seems cool. A++ for mentioning my name in first post

has anyone seen Jakal? i haven't seen him post in a while. Edit: never mind, I forgot that I blocked him (ok, now this really is my last mean joke post)

Let's pretend, hypothetically, just as an example in case someone else wants to know, just in theory, if one may or may not want to block someone, how may/may not she/he do this? And if she does/doesn't want to block/not block someone in particular/no one specifically, how does me do this? Also, is there a way for this "person" to efficently block a huge amount/reasonable amount of people at once on this phone? I'm asking for a friend. (This is my last mean post; I can't do it anymore. My co-worker asked me how my new year was going and I replied, "none of your beeswax," so I think it's starting to bleed into my real life, and I can't let this forum change me more than it already has)

He's probably just gonna show us a photo of a different animal's skull, like a human or something, 'cause he thinks we're too stupid to know the difference. Very offended Spunky; we may be stupid but we know how to google image search!

Wargen, you should find every Happy Birthday Facebook post for that day and reply with, "Hey cool! It's my birthday too!"

Sorry, nohorseman is a pretty good name too. God, men are so sensitive.

Sorry if I sound like a broken record, but I still think that Cargo Shortzenegger is the best name yet. "Kieran" is not too bad, but any regular, average, nothing special, run-of-the-mill, Joe Schmo could have that name.

Sorry I'm late. I had to finish making love to all of your parents, and someone's mom took foooorever to cum. Kevin, let me get some of those aloe wipes - I got a mess to clean up (This is a fake mean joke post; I like all of you but would never have sex with your parents, no offense)

Dear Ashley and Dairy Pillows, What do you guys think of my new socks? I uploaded the cool pics to my Walgreens photo account, but I haven't heard anything from you. Call Me, Silvr [edit: sent from California, no matter what thejjar claims]

Sorry thundercock, it was my fault. Picking up dorritos was my one and only responsibility, and I even managed to fuck that up. I guess it's time for me to take accountability and tell you the truth. Earlier today, NPR reported that Dorritos was discontinuing the ranch flavo(u)r, and that all stores would sell out soon. Knowing that ranch was your favo(u)rite flavo(u)r, I rushed down to the supermarket to pick them up. NPR still playing on my car stereo, I became entranced with some news story about how BitCoins are the new sillybanz to kids these days. I arrived at the store but wanted to hear the end of the story; unfortunately, once I reached the dorritos shelves, some asshole walked away with the last bag of ranch. I should have just streamed that program later, and then that would have been YOUR bag of dorritos; I'm such an idiot. Because we know you'd be devastated to learn that not only were there no ranch Dorritos at the party, but there would never be ranch dorritos again at any party ever, we decided it best that you didn't come and save you from immense disappointment. But I guess you know now anyway, sorry.

Nothing much. What's up with you?

I know that everyone’s probably very concerned that I am going to mess up this flirting opportunity with Bruce. But I’d like to assure you all that I am going to do great. In fact, ever since today’s “Sup” post, I have spent hours upon hours studying the following articles and I am very confident now that I know exactly what to do: How to Attract a Skater Guy How to Act Normal Around Your Crush How to Make a Boy Notice You at School How to Tease a Guy (for Teens and Kids) How to Ask a Guy to Show His Muscles to You How to Take off a Shirt

To Whom it May Concern: I have told Ashley and Jeffrey on multiple occasions that pet names are private, and they should never refer to me as "Thundercock" or "N/A" on a public forum. Sadly, it has been brought to my attention that they have once again betrayed my trust. Therefore, I am hereby requesting the mods provide me with new forum friends. I know this is a lot to ask, and may be a daunting task because my former forum friends have set the bar so high, but I appreciate you taking this matter seriously. xoxo, Silvr P.S. If it's an inmate again, this time I'd prefer a non-violent offender, or at least one that still has internet privileges and/or laughs at my jokes

Don't worry Chanson; it's a Fonzie reference, so I think he's trying to say you are very cool aaaay

I can't stop laughing at this part, please help

Hey, I don't want to be an be an asshole and brag, so could someone else please tell thejjar that I also got a Fogelnest like? Since Norm's nice now, maybe he can deliver the news in a really gentle and caring way

Wow, Jackal, what a nice thing to say!

Wait...did anybody actually think this? Edit: Wait, never mind; I'm an idiot. I get it now.

I was already at Ashley's wedding. I was pretty busy at the time but apparently I had to be there cause I was "the bride" and going on a camping trip is "not as important" and "what the fuck is wrong with you"

Jeffrey, why did you not respond to these questions? Was it because they were too good? Also, verified: