Silvrwoman

Holy shit you three are funny! I was gonna make some joke about how funny it was, but I'm far too intimidated by you guys now Edit: just so you know, this recent episode doesn't show up on iTunes for me, but the Podcasts link worked

Thank you for calling me human

Merry Christmas my gentile friends. You guys have taught me so much about Christmas traditions. For example, I used to think that people froze their leftover Christmas cake and reused it during the following year's Christmas cake eating contest, but now I know they just throw it away like yesterday's trash. Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for delete-editing my recent posts last night. It was definitely not because I was drunk and made 2 mediocre posts, then became more drunk so thought it was a good idea to delete these posts. You see, this wouldn't even make sense, as mediocre posts have obviously never bothered me before. Actually, what happened is even though they were hilarious, those posts were extremely offensive and hurtful to everyone on here, especially Norm, and I thought it was best for everyone's well being if they were removed (especially for Norm)

Edit: I don't like this post either

Edit: Bad post

Cargo Shortzenegger might be the best name yet

Norm, that's not our butt. I think you're in the wrong butt. Call us if you still can't find our butt. Also, pick up ice on the way to the butt 'cause I think we just got burned Edit: Wargen, sorry I just realized I accidentally plagiarized you. Your joke was so good, it stuck in my head I guess

It is worth thousands of likes. Once all of us have seen that Jake has “liked” your post, we will all jump aboard and start “liking” most of your posts (I’ve seen it, so I’ve already started). You will get so many likes that the Earwolf forums will have to go under construction to accommodate all the digits in your like-count; experts will compare this disaster to the Y2K problem, and later blame Scripps for assuming their fans would not be able to make such good posts. In the meantime, Jake Fogelnest has released a new podcast on the Feral network, and because he has made such a good impression on you by “liking” your HH forum post, you listen to it religiously and become a “rabid” fan of The Folgelnest Folders, and a consistent poster on the Feral forums. You become well liked on this forum, mostly due to your legacy of receiving a coveted Folgelnest “like,” and thus begin receiving a ton of “likes” on all your Feral forum posts. Jake notices a fan receiving an unusual amount of “likes” on his forum which makes him intrigued, so he hires a private investigator to look into you. After a year or so of research, the PI reports back to Jake that you are the person who posted about him on the Hollywood Handbook forums about 12 months earlier. Due to your popularity among his fans, and because he’s taken a liking towards you for the 2015 shoutout on the forum for the now most popular and critically acclaimed podcast of all time, Hollywood Handbook, he invites you to be a guest on his podcast. As expected, you are hilarious on the show. Everyone loves your FF episode, and it is #2 on The Atlantic’s 50 Best Podcast Episodes of 2016. Because of the Folgelnest Folder’s popularity (thanks to you) and huge advertising profits, Scripps buys Feral Audio, and due to all the money FF brings in, Scripps is able to hire a specialist to fix the Like-Count Problem of 2015, reopening the Earwolf forums and eventually merging the Earwolf and Feral forums together. While the Earwolf forums were down, no one could make any more posts and thus every Earwolf forum member’s like-count remained the same as it did in 2015; however, you received a significant amount of “likes” on the Feral forum, and when the two forums merged, so did your like-count, significantly exceeding everyone else’s. Children’s textbooks will refer to you as the Most Liked Person of All Time. Oh and also when Hayes hears you mention Hollywood Handbook on your Folgelnest Folders episode, he posts about it on the FF forums; I make a post referencing his post which then receives a Hayzie Bone “like”

Thank you for your concern soup, but I don't care what the structure is as long as jokes are the pillars, Sean and Hayes are the architects, the windows are a view into the complexities of this society, and you all are the glue holding it all together. [this is meant to be a disgusting joke btw] Thank you soup!

I did it!

Thank you Hayes (and Ashley)!!!!! I've never been so happy! I'm dedicating my Pro-Version to Ashley. And as Ashley's very best friend and comedic collaborator, I am honored to accept half of this dedication. Congratulations to me for receiving both this week's Pro-Version and 1/2 of the Pro-Version dedication. I couldn't have done it without the support of my own generosity. Thus, I'd like to dedicate the Pro-Version and Pro-Version dedication to myself. I don't have time to do the math, but I think I did pretty well today. And Norm, I don't know what's going on, sorry.

Hate to interrupt whatever it is you all are talking about, but it turns out I had scabies for a while. I put some Purell on it, and feel much better now; don't really like Hollywood Handbook that much anymore. Off to the Wolf Pop forums, best of luck to everyone.

Oh yea, how does it go again? (I know this is a lot to ask; I would do it if I had the same youthful energy I did weeks ago, when this thread first started)

Great. My house is the one with no windows. If you pass the "Road Ends" sign, you've gone too far. I can bring some 2014 limited edition vintage bud light lime (a good year), or the movie, A Good Year, staring Russel Crowe. Let me know which you'd prefer.

Yes

There's a new Star Wars out? Sorry, back to your question. First, I'd like to preface this by stating that this is not one of my weird, fake, made up things. Okay, so I've only seen part of a Star Wars movie; I couldn't make it through the whole thing. But I never thought that was the reason I was a failure. I always thought it was because I didn't like Blade Runner. I saw Blade Runner pretty recently for the first and only time at one of those late night screenings, and not knowing anything about it, I didn't know if it was a sincerely good movie, or if they were doing that screening because it was one of those "so bad it's good movies" like The Room or Troll 2. As the movie progressed, I became sure that it was a hilariously bad movie. And not just because of the exceptionally rapey scene. Everything was ridiculous to me: the dialogue, the acting, the dialogue and the acting. After the movie ended, I turned to my friend and said, "that was really bad, right? Like one of those 'so bad it's good' movies?" He laughed and said, "no. You're just upset about the rapey scene, right? Yea, that's bad, but you shouldn't let that stop you from enjoying the film overall." And then I googled it, and apparently everyone likes this movie, so I must have missed something, but I don't know what. It's a bad movie, right?

I also love Annie; however, unlike you, I am very good at photoshop:

.

I can't listen to other comedy podcasts anymore. I used to love CBB, I4H, Ronna & Beverly, etc., but then after listening to HH, everything changed. To me, Hollywood Handbook is to ice cream as other comedy podcasts are to ice cubes. It's like how my parents gave me ice cubes as a treat whenever I did something good, like rewinding all their VHS1 tapes to get Mars Attacks1 ready for their next viewing. I loved ice cubes, they were cool, refreshing, and fun to eat. I was totally satisfied with the ice cube reward, and actually looked forward to Deliberation Day, during which my parents would decide which one of us kids deserved the positive reinforcement that month. Let's just say that I was usually to the ice cubes as the planet, Pluto1, was to the sun (the farthest away). Anyway, one day last week, while ice cube shopping, I may have accidentally picked up a container of Dreyer's Chocolate Chip2 instead of my usual bucket of Soylent powder3. I did really well last week, showing up for every electric shock therapy session, so I knew I deserved to reward myself, but I didn't really feel like sanitizing the ice cubes; so instead, I ate a bite of the ice cream. It tasted sweet, way better than ice cubes. The ice cubes weren't bad, it's just that ice cream is drastically better. It's sweet and stuff. Next year, if I determine myself worthy during my self-held Deliberation Day, do you think I'll pour myself a bowl of perfectly adequate ice cubes or extraordinarily funny ice cream? 1. These are 90's references so that you guys can better visualize the setting and political climate of the time 4 2. Hollywood Handbook in this analogy 4 3. Music in this analogy 4 4. Unnecessary footnotes 4

Norm and thejjar are 2 of my favorites and now they've just broken my heart. Wtf is going on this week?

Norm, you are very wrong

2 minutes ago, when mikebonetti told us he cancelled this week's Hollywood Handbook episode due to some Facebook technicality (something about Facebook not having enough room on its servers for so many HH page "likes"), I immediately broke down in tears. But after only a handful of hours crying, I remembered what my mom always said: "Oh stop crying! It's not that bad, at least you still have your other fingers." She was right, there's a silvr lining* to everything: Good news, AV Club dude, no bits this week! Absolutely none! *Or as thehotdogwhisperer would call it, "silver lining" smh, amirite chickn omg wtf

Okay, unless anybody has any objections, let's all listen to Episode 42 - Sinbad, Our Close Friend

I tried to think of a funny way to tell you guys how upset I am about this whole thing, but I can't think of anything because I'm too upset. Should we all agree on an old episode to re-listen to this week?

I agree with Norm. Your therapist should support and encourage your interests, like mine does. My therapist gives me M&M’s each week, and the number of pieces is dependent on my like/post ratio. A true behaviorist. If there’s a decrease in that week’s number of likes, he becomes withholding, and says something like, “You can’t only buy five M&M’s; if you want them, you’ll have to purchase the whole box. That will be $7. And again, I am not your therapist; I am a 17 year-old movie theater concession worker. This forum sounds cool though.” (In all seriousness though, I will be very upset if you quit the forum)