Silvrwoman

I don't need to read those texts anymore. Because you asked me to "please stop leaving me voicemails asking me what 69'ing is. As I stated before, I'm at church and will explain it to you later," and knowing I didn't have the patience to wait, I googled it and figured out without your help. Thanks for the effort though, and please apologize to your congregation for me.

I don't know if we're over this 69 thing yet, but if not: I'd like to preemtively apologize if the image size is ridiculous; I'm posting from my phone so I can't see a preview

Jeffrey, pretend that you have that brain abnormality where you can't recognize faces. Every time you turn your head back towards Ashley from looking at someone/something else, say, "Oh, hi. I don't think we've met before. I'm Jeffrey. Have you seen my friend Ashley, I can't find her and I'm very worried." Then start screaming. This is a very funny prank Ashley, when you meet your friend, whoever that may be, pretend that you have amnesia and you don't know who you are. This makes you very worried so you start screaming. Very funny prank

Perfect name suggestion. But will it be weird when she asks him to "sit"?

That's so funny - I also just received a text message. I need to ask the ladies what they think of his lines: *Also, just kidding thejjar; your bridge line is pretty good. Let us know if she responds with a good pun on your name

Holy c**p chickn - that was hilarious! There was not a second of that 20 minutes that wasn't funny. I am sincerely impressed. Thank you for providing us with such amazing content; it really made a great start to my day. The jokes were original, creative, and, most importantly, hella funny. Obviously, I'm having trouble figuring out how to express how good that was, but I truly hope you know how talented you are. I am very much looking forward to next week's episode.

Thejjar, why are you trying to time stamp when you were "playing Playstation"? What have you really been up to?

If I could give you all hugs instead of likes I would. But apparently the technology isn't there yet - I looked into it.

I may be remembering incorrectly, but when Sean brings up the wrestling (?) match, I thought Hayes was asking him if he's mentioning the upcoming event for the sole purpose of time stamping the phone call, and thus inquires if he's somewhere he's not supposed to be. I agree with thejjar - I think Hayes was implying that Sean wanted an alibi. However, I took this as Hayes just setting up an opportunity for he and Sean to improv about Sean doing something he's not supposed to be doing at that specific moment; I don't know if Hayes necessarily had a particular thing in mind.

I have to admit that this episode was pretty difficult for me - they referenced a lot of topics I knew very little about: sports, NYC, Hamilton, Iron Man That being said, amazing episode! I highly enjoyed it. Favorite part: Hayes saying that Sean only knew of South Park from the T-shirts Also, I analyzed some data, and it turns out the funny one is Hayes and Sean from Hollywood Handbook.

I don't know what you're talking about. I like all the posts I "like" I've only given a pity "like" once, and it was to one of my own posts; although, it proved to be pointless, because I was never able to really convince myself that she actually liked my post, mainly because I am she and thus knew I/she did it out of pity for me/she

Okay, since everyone's doing it, I guess I'll post my list now:

No problem, anytime. You may not have liked it anyway because I Asked Jeeves, and he said that Google said, "it sucks imao"

SteveH, come over to Slack so we can all dissect every joke and analyze each episode to determine the social and political impacts of the dialogue. Or just chat about our favorite parts

Thank you! You are the best and love you too

Dude, just pick a date in the near future and pretend it's the day you and your roommate first met. Your roommate (you didn't mention her name, so henceforth, I'll just refer to her as "Brenda") is not gonna be able to remember the actual day anyway, but you may have to go through her emails/texts to delete any contradicting evidence and falsify some messages; I recommending hacking into her mom's email account and sending your roommate a message that says something like: Hi Sweetheart, your dad wants to know if you've found any pills lying around. He thinks he may have left them there on November____. I think that's the day you first hung out with Ashley. The pills are blue. Love, Mom. Next just casually say to you roommate something like, "aren't you excited for our upcoming friendship anniversary?" Then all you have to do is plan a surprise party for your roommate, on the pretense that it's to celebrate your Friendaversity. First though, make sure you go through your list of invitees and make sure that it's not possible for any person on that list to have been with your roommate and/or knew of her whereabouts on the date you've chosen. I recommend hacking into each person's mom's email account and sending each invitee something like: Hi Dollface, Your dad wants to know if you were around on November_____. He's trying to remember the last time he got his prescription filled, and thinks you and [insert your roommate's name] would know because he's certain both of you came with him to the pharmacy that day. I'm pretty sure that's the same day you and [insert your roommate's name] first met, if that helps jog your memory. The pills are blue. Love, Mom. Okay, next make two separate lists: List Y (You should not invited these people to the friendaversary party), and List N (Not a problem if invited to friendaversary party) Because you don't want the people who you're not going to invite to find out about the party and become suspicious about not being invited, as well as sending out the party invitations to everyone on List N, also simply send each person on List Y a fake coupon for a free dinner entree at their favorite restaurant. Of course, it should go without saying, make sure the coupons are only valid for the date of your party. Here's the important part though: Make sure you also invite someone with a reputation of being untrustworthy, preferably a known criminal of the community. This will make sense later. Okay, so now skip ahead to after the "Surprise!" moment. Your roommate is thrilled and grateful of all you've done to put this amazing party together for her (the food, drinks, bouncy house, a private concert from a 90's boy band). During the party start making little statements about how you're a little nervous that Stabbing Steven showed up. Explain to your roommate that you invited him because he used to date Allison who used to date your ex boyfriend, and you did didn't want Steven to think that you didn't invite him because you were jealous of Allison because he's still talks with Allison occasionally (they share a dog still) and he may tell Allison that you were jealous which isn't even true. You didn't think he would actually come though because he's usually in prison. Anyway, make sure it's clear that you're scared because Stabbing Steven is a criminal. Next simply "accidentally" tip over the chocolate fountain which inevitably will catch the bouncy house on fire. This will be a good distraction while you sneak into your roommate's purse and steal her key. And then, before you know it, maybe as soon as the next day, your roommate will want to go to work, or run an errand or something, maybe go to the pharmacy - it's not important, I don't want to confuse you with details. Anyway, guess what.... Idiot can't find her keys!! Your roommate isn't as smart as you, so she probably won't even try using the window as an entry/exit. She will probably cry and tell you she lost her key. At this point, you say, "Aww don't cry, it's OK. You're not that much of an idiot. Stabbing Steven probably stole it - he's a known criminal after all. Don't worry, I'll go make a copy of my key and give you a duplicate." You make a copy of "your" key, which is actually her key and come back and give her the duplicate. Now, you look like the kind, perfect, thoughtful roommate, and she looks like the idiot! And, most importantly,you have a key to your apartment again!

thejjar: Makin Dreams Come True Since 2015 Everyone else, please take note on how to correctly mention video games in a post

Omg I did not even know how much I wanted a Sean and Hayes candlestick image until now!

Well, I think that was our fault. We should have asked for a hot dog go to bathroom t-shirt a while ago. My understanding is that a T-shirt request has to be made a couple years in advance. After which, there will be a few teasers hinting that we will get the t-shirt; then only a little over 2 years later, boom: An actual t-shirt [prototype image] right before your eyes [on your Twitter feed]! *Note: Other podcast show t-shirts don't take as long because they are not of as high quality (the podcasts I mean; I don't know how well made the t-shirts are) J/k I am very grateful and excited that we are getting t-shirts

mikebonetti, what's your excuse? haven't you been spending all day driving? please don't tell me you've been wasting your time exploring other podcasts while on the road

I agree with this. However, if it's a T-shirt that just says Hollywood Handbook, or the "an insider's guide.." notebook logo, we would probably have to explain the shirts anyway. Worst case would be ppl not asking us to explain it because they are taking it literally, and are thinking we are real versions of Hayes and Sean's characters, "Hollywood Handbook, I guess she's into insider knowledge about the industry...OK" That's why I kind of like the "Speak on That" shirt. Also, "what up what up" is Sean's phrase, right? So it kind of leaves Hayes out :(/>

I'm probably gonna look like an idiot again, but what does SBW mean? I googled it and apparently it's Internet slang for "slut bitch whore" http://www.internetslang.com/SBW-meaning-definition.asp But I don't think that's what you meant...I mean I guess I could be wrong

Chickn, that amazing pcg question makes me think you should drop out of school. You can't improve something that's already perfect, so what could you even gain from schooling at this point? Wheez, hearing you got the pro version made a perfect ending to a perfect episode. Congrats! Don't trade for that awesome pokemon card - it's not worth it!

I'm super excited for this episode! I re-listened to scuzzman's previous appearance in preparation, and it was even better than I remembered