spiderjokes

Q: How do spiders build cabins? A: They use weblogs

Q: How do spiders celebrate Easter? A: They dye their eggsacs then on Monday you are attacked by thousands of pastel spider babies

Q: What happens when spiders lose their car keys? A: They do a web search

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? OLIVER. Oliver who? OLIVER BABIES DIED WHEN YOU SPRAYED THE BLACK WIDOW WITH RAID SO EXPECT A DEADLY BITE SOON

Spider Haiku: You ever notice / That all spiders are naked? / Put on some damn clothes

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? LUKE. Luke who? LUKE OUT THERES A TARANTULA ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD, BEEN THERE FOR DAYS I FORGOT TO TELL YOU

Spider Haiku: Patient web dweller / Senses a slight vibration / His dumb wife farted

Q: Hoq do spiders get rid if demons? A: They call a legs-orcist

Q: What do you call an angry arachnid in a wool factory? A: An itchy bitchy spider

Q: How do spiders celebrate St Paddys Day? A: They bite people who aren't wearing green but they don't see color so they just bite everybody

Q: How come spiders eat flies? A: You try cooking for that many damn kids

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? YOUR WIFE, SHELBY. Your wife Shelby who? YOUR WIFE, SHELBY DEAD BY NIGHTFALL AFTER THAT BITE I JUST GAVE HER

Q: Why do spiders crawl in your mouth at night? A: Cause you eat fly guts

Q: Why do all spiders wear little tophats? A: Who knows they cray

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? OSWALD. Oswald who? OH NO, OSWALD A FLY! WAIT I'M A SPIDER, SO YUM.

Q: How do spiders put on their pants? A: Four legs at a time just like you and me

Spider Haiku: Daredevil spider / Spins webs in the house of an / Exterminator

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? BUTCH. Butch who? BUTCH YOUR SHOES ON CAREFULLY CUZ I LIKE TO HIDE IN THERE AND BITE YOUR SMELLY FEET TIL YOU DIE

Spider Haiku: Spring forward tonight / Like the lithe jumping spider / Or be late for work

Q: Why did the spider have high cholesterol? A: He ate too many butterflies

Q: Why do spiders dislike the beginning of daylight savings time? A: They lose an hour of crawling all over your body while you sleep

Q: What do you call a young deadly spider? A: Black Kiddo

KNOCK KNOCK. Who's there? YOUR SHARON. My Sharon who? YOUR SHARON YOUR HOUSE WITH THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS AND NINE OF THEM ARE ON YOU RIGHT NOW

Spiderjokes followers, you write the punchline! Q: How come spiders got them big ol' butts?

Spiderjokes followers, you write the punchline! Q: Why do spiders have them big ol' butts?