AnonymousOilMan

A movie that is a video capture of gameplay for an n64 game that is just Sinbad riding really fast in an old cart in an abandoned mineshaft.

11:45 pm arrive at party with Taco Bell party pack, 11:47 pm receive "rainbow" style blowjob from every girl at the party.

Just told myself not to forget to do yoga on a skateboard in my apt this evening.

Hey guys just a reminder, don't forget to wipe the tip of your penis off w/ toilet paper next time you go to the bathroom. #bathroom

I just bought a George Zimmerman Grill......

Just connected with my dad on linkedin, i think things are gonna get better for me soon

I want to read Infinite Jest in the form of daily tweets that I ignore.

.@gnormanKHOU I predict a blizzard tonight if u know what I mean wink wink lets do cocaine together dude

Japanese Americans were lucky in ww2 because they all got to go to internship camps and those are good for your resume.

(cont.) "No offense, but I've always perceived your head as being only slightly bigger than a grapefruit"

My dad drives a Rolex

I wanna wear a shirt with a blurry logo like in old snoop dogg videos that shit looks dope

Saw a bikini top on the ground in the UH parking lot and immediately wondered "are there unclothed boobs nearby?"

I may be wrong, but I think the most surreptitious way for me to sneak out of class from here in the back row is to backflip out of my chair

I wanna tweet at someone I don't know, feels like I should just tweet them "I am interested in your life" to see if they're okay with it.

I wonder if god would call any of my followers sluts?

It's "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC, not "ADAM AND STEVE ARE SUPER HOT" by ADAM AND STEVE

I wanna file a lawsuit against someone for farting near me.