JamestownPod

I gotta remember to use to term "eponymous character" more. (I'M TRYING TO BE MORE OF A DOUCHE BAG).

Every Woody Allen movie is a slasher film because he is the writer slash director thank you I work hard on my jokes I'm glad you like them.

I have only wished on an eyelash one time in my life and that wish did come true. I plan never to wish on an eyelash again so I can believe.

Mike Huckabee claims he's eating at Chick Fil-A to support "family values," but I think he's just doing it cause that's what fat people do.

I burnt my tongue on a hot pocket late last night and its probably reduced my quality of life by about ten percent today. #themoreyouknow

Speaking of old people, yesterday my mom mistook the MGM lion roar at the start of a movie for my dog growling at someone at the door.

Remember that hobo and hbo are only one letter apart.

Hey you can't spell cowardice without cow.

When Batman and Bane talk its like that scene on 30 Rock in which Will Arnett and Alec Baldwin get up close and both talk low and husky.

So what does everybody think: did the top stop spinning or not???

I THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO SAY I'M 20 YEARS YOUNG BECAUSE USUALLY WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE A NUMBER OF YEARS YOUNG THEY ARE ACTUALLY OLD

I just had something that I really wanted to tweet but I couldn't get it down to anything less than about 170 characters, so I had to just d

My favorite color is my favorite color solely because of the ice cream flavor it makes me think of.

RT if you want to know what my third impression of you was.

Nobody panic but I think @Guy_From_20s may have died. Perhaps things didn't go his way in the crash of '29?

Is Premium Rush the sequel to Pineapple Express?

oh honest tea sounds like honesty

Boy Scouts of America, the gayest of all youth activities, has officially reaffirmed their ban on gays.

LA Times: "Bus driver/hero catches girl after 3-story fall." Well we should have known he'd do that if he's a hero! http://t.co/qOiS4MJw

Ok I know only a small percentage of my followers will know what I am talking about here, but yo FUCK lakefair.

OOPS I TWEETED ONE EARLY

when does batman come out? please RT

Sorkin makes more musical theater references on The Newsroom than I make on twitter, and I make far too many musical theater references.

For a movie that doesn't have Jason Bourne in it, his name sure is mentioned a lot in the trailer for The Bourne Legacy.

is batman out?