Petunia Fist

Please, please, please. I know you guys don't do TV shows. But for real. This 13 episode Netflix series will quite possibly, literally, make Jason's head explode, and will also severely disturb June on more levels that anyone ever even thought they could be disturbed. It's basically twelve hours of nothing but non sequiturs and unanswered/unexplained questions. Plus nudity.

I was so excited about this that last Week, instead of spending quality time with our families, my neighbor across the hall and I each, individually, but simultaneously watched and live tweeted the first four movies...several porch intermissions and whiskey drinks later all I remember thinking was "Oh wow. Edward just took eating the placenta to a whole new level of gross." Tomorrow we're heading out to a matinee showing of the final chapter, Twilight Saga: Face Punch (that's the name, right?), and I can't wait to hear your fabulous insights!

Sleepaway Camp Ernest Scared Stupid Return of the Living Dead Jason X (I mean...he's in fucking space...)

Oh man...Cobra is the BEST! My favorite part is when he's eating the pizza, and he cuts just the tip off and only eats the little triangle.

Oh, also...this... I mean..."He's a Rappin' Genie with an attitude...AND he's ready for Slam-Dunk fun!"

Batman & Robin League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Battlefield Earth Super Mario Bros. Howard the Duck Jurassic Park 2 (if for nothing else than the scene where that 10 year old girl does gymnastics and kicks a dinosaur in the face)