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Asteck

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Posts posted by Asteck

  1. Posted

    The original UCB TV show was formative in my comedy consciousness, and I love I4H and the work countless UCB alumni are doing today, but elitism charges cut both ways. UCB training is a lifestyle and, according to dozens of conversations I've heard describing the process (with people like Sean Conroy and Jon Gabrus), the comparison to Scientology earlier in this thread seems more apt than the author intended.

    • In order to progress, you must take a series of escalating courses, to the tune of thousands of dollars.
    • If you reach the appropriate echelon, you will be allowed to audition for a team, but slots are extremely limited and only 1/100 people will make it. If you don't, you can either take more courses or bide your time until the next audition.
    • You must be willing to be paid little/nothing to perform at the UCB theaters, so that the popular/successful shows can subsidize new/experimental shows.

    This is the way it's always worked, and graduates of the program are heavily invested in terms of time, money, and loyalty. People who don't buy into (or have washed out of) the system will always try to paint the UCB as Improv Infidels. Culture wars are a foregone conclusion.

     

    I'm honestly having a hard time telling from your post - This is a joke right?

  2. Posted

    Ross, you told People magazine that Gwyneth Paltrow once "pointed at my tummy and said, 'What's going on here?" What was going on there? What are you keeping in there that would so confuse such a respectable woman and mother?

     

    When you do Undercover Ross do you feel bad that you're lying to people who are less fortunate than you for money?

     

    How often do you cry and how much is too much?

    • Like 7

  4. Posted

    Yesss in the ten years I've been posting on these forums I think this is the first mention I've gotten in a Veebs story.

    Just waiting on that pro-version, then I can fulfill the "Asteck was here" message I carved into the last RSS thread and kick the stool away.

     

    Great show Neil Casey is a gem. Keep up the good great work

    • Like 16

  8. Posted

    Great show! Thanks for doing a charity episode so close to the tax deadline. I hope turning in all of the old scoops to those in need (the listeners) nets you guys a tasty write-off.

     

    Sillylillyquee, is the a in your drawing my avatar? If so, thank you and welcome to forums. If not, I'm going to continue assuming it is and you are still welcome in the forums. You were great at the end of the episode and were actually a bit of a palette cleanser for some of the less, um, savory callers.

    • Like 13

  10. Posted

    Week 11 Team Scores

    QZ6a4uR.jpg

     

    Finale Scores

    There were a lot of vomit negs, I tried to tally them accurately...

    hAXKBLv.jpg

     

    And the final score

    CTIQWVg.jpg

     

    The winner is AGATA! That got pretty close at the end with only 26 points separating 1st and 2nd. Good season everybody, but especially me for keeping score. I'll give some more stats(highest/lowest scorers, etc.) when I'm done drinking away this pitiful 3rd place finish.

    • Like 7

  11. Posted

    Oh also I listened to this episode while I was doing jury duty. Has anyone else spent their jury duty waiting time with Hayes and Sean?

    I saw PFT while I was waiting for jury duty once. He was repeatedly refreshing twitter on an ipad with a cracked screen and seemed really T.O'd so I left him alone.

     

    Great ep in HALlelujah kind of way. A real celebraSEAN. That's a good way to be funny btw, putting somebody's name into a word. Sorry hayes, I've got nothing for ya. You pack your stuff and head back to camp.

     

    One note though, Milo was the kitten who was tossed off the cliff, not the pug who died from other abuses. Nice refs, but if you're gonna use'm, use'm right. Tighten up that game guys.

    • Like 8

  12. Posted

    I don't know why but I randomly thought of this time when I had to replace the one of my brake lights. Because of the way the car's made, you can't just replace the light, you have to take off the entire casing around it to get to the bulb. I called and was quoted like $50 to take it to a service center and was like fuck that it's a $2 bulb, I'll do it myself. So I started going through auto forums looking for ways to remove the casing without damaging it and without needing the special tool they use at the service center. I eventually found the steps I was looking for, but only after sifting through all of this crazy drama where people were saying how the auto forums weren't what they used to be, some were making really dramatic exits, there was all this in-fighting, and I was like what is with these people? Wasn't the whole point of that space of the internet to talk about cars and show off rims and post pics of your engine and shit? I guess I get it though, a lot of people really care about their cars. Anyways, don't know what made me think of that lol im gonna check my engine maybe it's a sign!!

    • Like 12

  19. Posted

    Last night was really fun! Getting to talk Vanderpump with Sean was a definite highlight. Everybody was very funny and smart and nice. Hayes didn't buy me a drink, but engineer Sam did and it turns out that he's also a very cool person in real life.

     

    i will say that my favorite part is that asteck admitted that i inspired him to watch all of entourage.

    Can I ask a question? Why the heck do they park so far away from the Urth Caffe? They spend half of every figgen episode walking from their car to sit down.

    • Like 6

  22. Posted

    I'll also be at the live show next week ! I'm going with my husband and I think we were planning to get there early so we can be sure of getting good seats. I'm looking forward to meeting you all. Where will you be meeting up ? Asteck, have you been to the UCB Inner Sanctum cafe ? I haven't been in there but seems like it might be a good meeting place for people before and/or after show ?

    Yeah that's a good idea. I think there'll be shows going on in the lounge but we could meet up in the cafe area.

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    I'm busy until 9:30ish, but I'll see if you guys are still going afterward. Thanks for the invite last week!

     

    I went to the live i4h last week and yes the theater is very nice. If you say something about the acoustics being weird you'll seem in the know. The only benefit of watching i4h as opposed to just listening is that Thomas sits at a tiny table on the side of the stage for the whole show.

    • Like 4

  24. Posted

     

    We actually don't have any candles yet I don't think but I have a feeling there will be many appearing soon.

     

    Also yes I will be going. Are you and Tim coming down? I'll have time to kill before the show if IRL hangouts are happening.

    I'm going too! Sorry I forgot to Hollerwood at you. If you guys want to meet up before, I'll be free at 6:30 at the Sunset theater. One time I was going to buy a candle for somebody as a gift and was informed that Yankee Candles are too mainstream candles, so do yourself a favor and look into more alternative candles.

     

    Edit: I look forward to meeting everybody!

    • Like 4

  25. Posted

    Hey Sean and Hayes I want you to be popular so fyi to be a popular podcast you or a guest have to reference C.H.U.D. every 3 or 4 episodes. Then after you make the reference (and get a laugh) somebody else will say what acronym stands for (which will get a bigger laugh). After that you can sing and put CHUD into songs for as long as you want bc singing is the new jokes.

    Here's an example of how it's usually used.

     

    I was looking for my keys and-

    Do you think a C.H.U.D. took them?

    [laughter]

    You mean a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller?

    [more laughter]

    I don't know, but *singing* I ain't afraid of no CHUD. Who you gonna call? CHUD busters.

    Take me CHUD tonight. I don't wanna let you CHUD til you see the light?

    [long, satisfied laughter, followed by talking about how fun it was to sing that]

    • Like 15
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