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DeathToMikeyBay

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Posts posted by DeathToMikeyBay

  4. Posted

     

    If we're going to make those kind of stretches than I might as well say

     

    Prometheus: big white alien and formless black oil

    Big Hero 6: big white robot and villain with formless black microbot smoke

     

    Is it really a stretch when they're both from the exact same writers? If JK Rowling wrote another book featuring grim reapers who sucked out your soul and an undead ghoul for a villain with a pet lizard who needed the hero's body to come back to life, would it really be a stretch to say she was running low on ideas? Would you rebut that comparison with, "Ghostbusters had ghosts too! Checkmate!"?

     

    Let's not lose sight of calling Prometheus a terrible movie.

  5. Posted

    A lot of people who wrote for Lost wrote for this.

     

    Lost: big white polar bear and formless black smoke monster

    Prometheus: big white alien and formless black oil

     

     

    Another sign of a bad movie is the extreme overuse of post production color correction orange/teal scheme. Usually it's limited to turning all the actors' faces orange and the blackground bluish (the laziest possible way to make actors stick out). Prometheus EVERYTHING is glowing blue with glowing orange lights framing the helmets of the actors.

  7. Posted

    It wasn't that bad as a teen horror body snatchers deal. Not really crazy or inept enough to be on HDTGM.

     

    Check out the thread for Disturbing Behavior. THAT is a movie that deserves an episode. I even mentioned that it was trying to be The Faculty meets Stepford Wives.

  8. Posted

    This thread made me check out the full list of Razzie nominations since 1980. There are a ton of recurring actors there that coincide with HDTGM all stars.

     

    Bruce Willis & Demi Moore (power couple!)

    Kevin Costner

    Sandra Bullock

    Adam Sandler

    Nick Cage

    Eddie Murphy

    Tyler Perry

    Steven Seagal

    Silvester Stallone

  13. Posted

    Paul's official:

     

    - Surfing/skateboarding

    - Under 90 minutes

    - rapping granny

     

    others?

     

     

    My additions:

     

    - Crazy foreign couple

     

    - "hip" remixes of classic songs

     

    - a pair of twins minor characters

     

    - DJing, record scratching

     

    - More than 2 writers (even 2 is a red flag)

    • Like 2

  14. Posted

    The tagline should just be: "Why?"

     

    I can't think of a "comedian" with as much of an absolute zero comedic presence as Kevin James. He just blandly goes through the motions in every movie: Hitch, Zookeeper, Grownups, Barnyard, Grownups 2.

     

    Adam Sandler turned into a lazy, rote cashgrab of soullessness. Kevin James started there.

  15. Posted

    Superhero franchises that DON'T turn to ass by the 3rd movies:

     

    Superman: nope

    Xmen: uh uh

    Spiderman: nah uh

    Batman: nope

     

    Why in all that is holy does Hollywood keep trying to force Ryan Reynolds on us? The guy is the Shia Lebeowulf of action movies.

     

    Remember when vampires in the first Blade snapped the necks of ordinary humans with ease? Now huge jacked vampires like Triple H struggle with them! Must be thanks to CUSTOMIZING YOUR IPOD PLAYLIST BEFORE BATTLE.

  16. Posted

    But it wasn't indecipherable with a bizarre ending. In fact, it was the exact opposite of that being that it was just 2001 padded out with unnecessary action scenes and Chris Nolan on the nose dialog. Not a turd, just a bag of potato chips with pretty packaging.

     

    "How Did This Get Made?" Easy, they got a massively successful director following the massive success of Gravity with a special effects spectacle tied together with a simple emotional hook, and the result was a passable summer blockbuster. Not much to get out of that.

  18. Posted

    What amazed me about this movie is that is was so cheesy that you expected it to be from the early 80s before anyone knew better, but it was made in 1989!!!

     

    I still say it had to have been made in 1981 and was shelved for 8 years.

  20. Posted

    I could have sworn there was a scene where they have the Japanese visit for a big demonstration of their ridiculous virtual reality FILING CABINET. Maybe I was thinking of another early 90s thriller turd, Rising Sun.

     

    Speaking of Ninja Turtles and the discussion how EVERY 80s movie had tits in it, I caught the first Ninja Turtles movie on Netflix for the first time in 25 years, and holy crap. Little kid me never notcied that April O Neal's nipples are bursting through her tank top the whole movie. Halfway through she gets a shoulder massage from Casey Jones and the things are ready to pop out as he practically cops a feel to her orgasmic groaning.

     

    This was a PG kids movie!

    • Like 2

  21. Posted

    It made sense. It just stretched suspension of disbelief beyond the breaking point and was full of plot contradictions (chicken before the egg paradox with the wormhole).

     

    The only things you could really say about it was that it felt like a mini-series compressed into a movie, and that the script was 2001 for people who needed everything spelled out to them by the characters.

    • Like 1

  22. Posted

    Only watched 2 so far.

     

    Not sure if they'd make for a good episode. Whereas the first one was an (ineptly) ernest slasher movie, 2 is in this weird limbo between camp and ernest. Part of it tries to be Friday the 13th, part of it tries to be GORP. I actually burst out laughing at the "Look who's on TV!" line.

     

    It also shows the killer from the very first scene, so there's no mystery. You can build an effective suspense movie where the audience knows the killer but the characters are clueless, but you have to structure it as an investigation of increasing risks, like The Omen. Sleepaway Camp just has the fully known killer walking around killing kids.

     

    The good news? Outstanding tits, displayed often.

  24. Posted

    Barry Levinson is one of those directors who's supposedly great but I can't stand any of his stuff and don't see what the big deal was. Robert Altman is probably my #1 on that list. M*A*S*H is only loved by people of draft age during Vietnam, and his continuous take gimmick was pointless and lazy against something like Touch of Evil or Hard Boiled.

     

    Anyway, Dislosure is sooooo early 90s. It was the time where everyone thought 3 things were going to take over everything: Japan, women in the workplace, and virtual reality. Disclosure combines all of them. Not since Vanilla Ice rapped with Ninja Turtles has there been a more early 90s movie.

    • Like 2

  25. Posted

    I think it's just too boring to do an episode on.

     

    I remember they billed it as this wacky Lord of the Flies scenario of the crazy things the kids do once the babysitter is dead.

     

    And it was...for maybe 2 minutes. Then Applegate gets a job and the movie becomes entirely about that. It's like they were trying to ape the movie Big where a kid is passing off as an adult to bring their fresh young perspective to a clueless stuffy company. It has ZERO of the charm of Big though.

    • Like 1
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