BitterComic_24628

Nobody's ever gotten a raise or a blowjob without asking for one. #lifeadvice

The ronnie dobs cop. @comedybangbang @pftompkins

Hey kale! Just checking in to see how you're doing. @Kalebc25

Comedy Bang Bang is a coming of age longshot sweetheart story of one mans against all odds rise to moderate fame. #cbbtv #FnP4life

Now hiring, full time position, duties consist of constantly reminding me that buying shit I wanted as a child is in no way going to fix me.

Come on guys a trilogy? What are you Clerks? From Film Maker Kevin Smith's Film Franchise Clerks? @mradamscott

Jesus, Buddha, Krishna. #fuckmarrykill

I just did laundry and am actually impressed by how many socks I own. I am getting older.

1990's R&B group Salt N' Peppa edition salt and pepper shakers. #terribleideasthatmightactuallymakemoney

Hey conservative American parents are you more upset that Elmo is gay or black?

Nothing makes me feel more nostalgic than masturbating in a church basement.

The highlight of this wedding was definitely when the preacher accidentally refered to jesus as a savory sovereign.

If you can't laugh at yourself, try the handicapped.