ZARATHUSTRA

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I'm always around. Since the beginning of many years ago I was here lurking. I choose my moments. (voice deepens) I will always hear you.

Filthy art nerd reporting in. Was being literal about the copies: Copying is a tried and tested method of learning to paint but you generally don't release them. He's ignored Van Gogh's careful complementary colours and form and made a masterpiece into something you could hang next to the scented candles in a 2 star resort in Iowa. Very "decorative". Mediocrity is the worst crime in art. I assume that texture is either paintwork or pre-textured canvas. Throw a bunch of sand and stuff into the paint or primer. They look pretty thick so I assume it's oil but they're very matte and dull so it could be acrylic or unvarnished. Judgemental art nerd out.

Someone needs to photoshop the 'loveslave' girl and Al Pacino into the Fifty Shades of Grey poster. I think the Pacino she was envisioning was probably from Sea of Love (1989), which I have not seen but recall Paul saying it was a sexy movie in either the Fair Game or Colour of Night episode. The Pacino in my heart will always be Heat Pacino though.

They were confusing it with Air Bud which is a pretty famous terrible 90s movie about a basketball playing dog. There's also like a Earnest-level number of sequels to it.

also turns out this was the Icon logo when it started out. I can see why they ditched it after 2 years. I don't know where they got 'elf' from though, it hasn't got pointed ears. From the halo, wings and sword I'm guessing it's the Archangel Michael who is common in Orthodox icons.

I'm still stuck here in this sunbaked excuse for a country and I can attest to how shit it still is. I would consider staying in utopian Canada no matter how cold, at least until the LNP is voted out.

Wombats are fucking viscious as hell, you can't get anywhere near them, particually if their burrow is nearby. That would be a great addition to this film though, if he got a phonecall halfway through the movie telling him that his dipshit parents were murdered by wombats and then he has to overcome his grief by rollerblading.

Also I looked and the Texas Realtor's paintings are basically just cafe/doctors surgery/office wall art. Most of them are actually stylised copies of Van Gogh paintings.

Such a simple fix for this movie: Parents go to a third world country, or some remote jungle or warzone or something. They literally told their son "we're going to a wealthy country that speaks the same language so you have to go to Ohio". I think the parents are into some dodgy shit and they're abandoning him. They're actually off for a sex tour of Thailand. If that kid would have gone to Australia for school I can tell you that as soon as he said any of his idiotic fake surfer dude shit he would have the living shit beaten out of him and the movie would be over in 3 minutes. Again I will repeat however, there are no schools in Australia. I learned to read from the books that wash up on the shore now and then.

I was amazed that Paul hadn't heard of Icon. They're one of the few genuinely independantly studios in existence and internally fund all their movies. This movie probably payed for the blood packs in Passion of the Christ. The logo is from one of the most famous and most sacred Byzantine Icons (hence the name), which is almost 1000 years old now I think. Mel Gibson is a wierd old Traditionalist Catholic so he knows all this shit.

Also relating to the wondrously off-topic discussion, who in their right mind would drink alcohol mixed with energy drinks if they were over the age of 12? What is wrong with everyone? Even if you don't care about the taste there are cheaper and more efficient ways to fuck yourself up. I know alcoholics who wouldn't touch that shit.

But really punchable.

This seems like the perfect June HDTGM movie. Rollerskates, teenagers and a hyper-realistic portrayal of the travesty that was 90s popular culture, which has somehow aged worse than the 70s and 80s. All I kept thinking cringing my way through this was we are going to be watching hipsters from the 2010s in movies in exactly the same cringy way in 20 years. And their dumb tattoos won't fade and neither will all the pictures of them online with Salafi beards and deep V-necks. There is no evidence of any of the stupid shit we wore in the 90s apart from some family photos we can burn ceremoniously. Thank god the internet was terrible then. We can spend our last moments in the trenches of World War III looking back and laughing at how stupid Garden State looks. Although its pretty fucking stupid already.

Man I wish I'd known about that amazing spreadsheet before i checked 150 goddamn wikipedia pages. You gotta nsfw that link though cause that is some serious OCD porn right there. It's beautiful. The Rain Man inside all of us thanks you. Most fascinating thing is the size of the total profit margin in that data. Even if you take away critically and commercially successful films like the 3 Fast and Furious movies it's still huge. I mean there are alot of bombs on that list and critically these are at the bottom of the barrel but they still made $7.3 billion in profit. Such a strange industry where you can fail so much and still break a profit most of the time. Imagine if Volkswagen sold cars that failed half the time and still made a profit. Oh wait.

I live in Australia and I can confirm that there are in fact no schools here and we pretty much live like the people In Mad Max: Fury Road.

I individually added up all 150 HDTGM movie lengths and it comes out to: 15,507 minutes or 258.45 hours or 10.76875 days So after watching Airborne, Paul, June and Jason have spent the equivalent of a week and a half of their lives watching these films. I skimped out of a few of the more miserable ones but I watched most of them and I never even stopped to think about why we do this to ourselves

I feel like I've had my official HDTGM baptism now that Paul has butchered the pronunciation of my username. It feels good. Sean Connery was channeling some straight up Trump creepiness in that scene. Though it's pretty in line with the original Bond films.

I like the live shows more to be honest. The energy is higher cause Paul, June and Jason are all trained live improv performers that can work off the audience. I think the ratio of live to studio episodes is perfect right now. Plus they earn the moneys (WAM) and Jason gets to berate the audience.

Or Wernstrom's mirror satelitte from Futurama. I agree it wouldn't block out all light, I just don't see why it would be night if you just wanna block out UV radiation. Plus you can also produce ozone, plus the earth produces ozone (by lightning, UV etc) and I don't know what the fuck the shield even is. Electromagnetic shield isn't a thing, and I don't think can be a thing. If you had a giant emitter of electromagnetic waves in the atmosphere, I don't think it would help at all cause its not gonna absorb any UV. Whenever you hear "electromagnetic" used in movies its almost always a bullshit screenwriter term for 'we don't care the sciency-magic will take care of the logic'. Electromagnetic just means it has something to do with the electromagnetic spectrum, which could be literally anything. I think this was the early 90s and people were scared of the ozone hole but didn't understand it so it was perfect for use in terrible screenplays. TL,DR: "micro chip" from Face Off was more thought out than the premise of this film.

Not much of a Correction and Ommission but I can confirm that you would look like that if you were exposed to an excess of UV radiation. Low exposure and you tan as a defense, higher exposure you sunburn, peel etc. Sunburn is just a radiation burn from UV. Exposure to UV also damages the DNA in your cells, leading to skin cancer. If there was no ozone at all, everything would die. High UV exposure and everyone would have sunburn and develop cancer. Whiter skinned people would die first, particually the freckled ones. Skin would also look really aged. Earth would basically just be a giant capsule made of cancer, otherwise known as a tanning bed. Except if you stayed indoors, out of the sun and wore sunscreen. I assume in this world they do these things. Source: I come from the skin cancer capital of the world and I sat through 3000 educational videos as a kid. If you put up some kind of vague sci-fi "electromagnetic" shield to keep the UV out, this might trap the heat in as is shown in the film. So basically a greenhouse. Except its always dark. If its dark that means you're filtering out most of the light, which you dont need to do, just the UV. The ozone layer does this now, it absorbs most of the UV light but other wavelengths get through. If for some reason they need to filter out nearly all light, explaining the darkness, then it would cool and everyone would die since nothing would grow and everyone would have Vitamin D deficiency (the skin produces this from UV exposure). This is all conjecture since who cares this movie is stupid. June would also be concerned as alot of animals can see UV wavelengths, not just birds and insects, but some mammals too. They need it for hunting, courtship etc. You know that CSI forensic blacklight where you see all the fluid stains? Alot of animals can see that and can spot urine etc. So you're gonna get alot of dead or confused animals if there's no UV light at all. TL,DR : Alot UV kill, no UV kill, movie dumb. Wear sunscreen you assholes.

I'm designing an app called Grindlandr for Immortals who want to find each other. I'm looking for investors, it's gonna be behind a paywall but you're gonna love it. This movie was like a 12 year old kid who saw a Korean bootleg of Highlander made on Blade Runner porn sets and wrote a fan fiction about it. I just re-read Naked Lunch and its story editing makes more sense. And it isn't supposed to make sense. Takeaways 1. Best Random June Moment: Concern over society's decline in Penmanship 2. We need a June and Paul Marriage Counselling podcast 3. HDTGM Callback: Christopher Lambert's weird hairline discussed in Mortal Kombat 4. Dick Cheney level poetry: "Okay, now let me just see if I can get this straight. You come from another planet, and you're mortal there, but you're immortal here until you kill all the guys from there who have come here and then you're mortal here unless you go back there or some more guys from there came here in which case you become immortal here again. Something like that." 5. I miss Roger Ebert. Question: Why was Christopher Lambert ever a sex symbol? Male beauty appreciation isn't really my specialty, but I get why people liked Van Damme in the 80s. Was Lambert like a Britishname Complicated kinda wierd looking hot for people or was George Michael stubble so prized in the 80s that that's all you needed. I'm confused. What am I doing with my life.

The podcast has done well without the paywall so far. If they are stretched for money they could ask. Hell the epsiodes are hosted on soundcloud, it doesnt cost that much for the actual earwolf server. i think any restriction on spreading the podcast is a bad idea. Really an ideal solution would be Patreon. The Best Show did it and they make $20,000 a month from patrons. HDTGM has way more dedicated fans than the Best Show, so they could easily make alot of money with no ads, no paywall, no pricing and no network. I would give money on Patreon happily. I wouldnt pay for Howl, nor would i pay per episode. I agree with what someone said earlier. This is a network decision and HDTGM has a big voice within earwolf. It has one of the largest communities and listenerships. If there's no blowback for this then its just gonna happen and thats a fucking terrible idea for listeners and for the podcast. I'd pay to keep the podcast free. I wouldnt pay to keep it for myself.

Very true. That line is just there because they didnt want the same line from the first movie verbatim. in the first film it's "You now have the option to terminate and be cremated on the premises." I feel like they wrote this movie by annotating the original script with post it notes that said "BUT THIS TIME...." Snake inflitrates New York in a glider BUT THIS TIME HE'S UNDERWATER IN A NUCLEAR SUBMARINE AND WE CAN EVEN USE EXACTLY THE SAME SHOT BUT MAKE IT LOOK WAY LESS COOL. Fun Fact: In the first movie they didn't have enough money for the wireframe effects of NY in the glider, so they made scale models, put reflective tape on the edges of buildings and shot it with black light. Somehow the computer generated ones in 1996 look worse and they probably spent the entire budget of the first film on it.

God she was funny in the Bloodsport episode. We need more!