ZARATHUSTRA

Godfrey Ho seems like the B-movie equivalent of William Burroughs. Its all one movie and you can watch the scenes in any order. I fucking love it. The flower orgasm was actually good filmmaking and better than the equivalent in previous movies.

father furlong! Father Ted and Spaced gifs in one thread I'm so happy

i googled this. Cue Transformers theme.

Feel like I have to have a shower after watching that. I feel unclean internally. Maybe drink some bleach. I didn't grow up in the 80s, maybe it was different then, but Kim Basinger looks terrifying in this movie. Like something out of a pastelly uncanny valley. LIke something out of Fallout 4. Dan Aykroyd is gross and I hate everything about this film. This whole movie is a nightmare and every copy should be destroyed.

First of all, this is hands down the post of the week. Second of all, I'm pretty sure they're just the cabin crew for the HMAS Male Fantasy, which is incidentally the name of the Fuck-Sub from A View to a Kill. Third of all, I think we can assume the Penis-in-the-handbag is flying the spaceship.

tbh I have never understood the deal with Woody Allen films. Completely suspending any knowledge of him as a person, I still don't like his movies. I really don't understand how they're funny at all. I can't comprehend why people see them. I've tried, I've seen Annie Hall and a few others, this was before any of the recent stuff, and I have no clue why he is elevated to such an extent in film and comedy. The films are shit. He writes the same movie over and over again. The characters are terribly written, particually the female characters. Even the early stuff isn't that revolutionary for the time. I genuinely can't sit through them I find his writing so irritating. I have no idea who keeps giving him money to make movies and why actors keep working for him. There are things I don't enjoy but understand why some people do, but Woody Allen is one of those really annoying things where I genuinely cannot fathom why anyone does enjoy it. I go crazy thinking i'm missing something but I watch it and its fucking terrible. Then again people go see Andre Rieu which is probably a more egregious crime.

I think Jerico is straightup just Miller from Repo Man I'm glad I opted not to watch this one. I'm so happy June is back live. Put em' in a bra.

With a special cameo appearance from Pope Francis as a club bouncer. Sigourney Weaver is a dope idea. Sandy Bullock too, or Goldie Hawn or Rinko Kikuchi. I think they should have gone for something like that instead of the Paul Walker replacement guy. Why not change it up instead of putting in a replacement? Isn't it the ultimate disrespect to be replaceable? Or just put June in the movie already. Plus I mean they have Kurt Russell. Just put him in every fucking scene. He's Kurt fucking Russell. I think Sam Rockwell would be awesome as a villian, a la CharIie's Angels. He's the best thing about that movie. I think he'd be up for dying and not sticking around, this series needs more people actually dying, the stakes start to fray when everyone is good in the end. Plus we need less bodybuilder types and more properly evil characters. I hadn't heard about a Rock/Jason Statham spin-off but I am so in. I love the action of these movies but I don't like Vin Diesel. He has no charisma to me and his douchiness bleeds all over everything. The Rock on the other hand is really watchable. I'm straight and male and I'd fuck him at this point. I'm so in for that movie. Also really surprised that only a few people knew the Rock was doing a Haka with the soccer team. Do people not know about Hakas in America? I didn't think it was obscure but I suppose there's no rugby there which is the place most people have seen it . Its a wardance you do before battle, which is pretty dope for a girls soccer team. Only the Rock could pull that scene off.

Some choice quotes

Possible use for Virtual Reality: Vin could wear the headset and have sex with himself. I agree those old cars wouldn't be. Even if this was set in the future I don't think most cars will be self driving. Most people don't like it instinctively. Depends on the GPS's satellites but they can calculate altitude, not that accurately generally though. But I assume in the logic of the film they would know if the building is a carpark and if theres a car in that they could assume its drive-offable. I got more of a Beck Loser feel, maybe its because I despise Kid Rock and have blanked him from my memory. Stellar Skateboard was my highlight.

Perhaps the mailbox follows the Hebrew Calendar where there is a leap month 7 times every 19 years. Or maybe the letterbox/DogGod magically accounts for leap years. Or maybe because they percieve time within the structure of a calendar: a human construct to make sense of the proximity of the past, thus a error in this structure not time. If we take the Kantian view of time, it is not externally existent but embedded (a priori) in our experience of the external, like the sense of spatiality, to make sense of phenomena. Or perhaps we shouldn't be concerned with clock/calendar-time (infinite series of self-contained nows laid out in an ordering of past, present and future) or with time as a kind of relativistic phenomenon that would satisfy physics. If we look to Heideggarian phenomenology, time is a present-at-hand (Vorhandenheit) phenomena which is not an accurate presentation of temporality which is an internal feature of the existential constitution of Dasein (the fundamental temporality that structures intelligibility). Thus in the direct phenomenological experience (i.e. bracketed using Husserl's phenomenological reduction), the actual experience of the mailbox is not relevant to the structure of calendar days. Or I might be reading too much into it. I assume the writers of fucking The Lake House thought all this through before they sold the fucking screenplay.

There is no conceivable timeline in which somone wouldn't have drawn a penis or a swastika or just tagged over it. Its such a cringeworthy message if I saw it I would go out and buy some paint myself and deface it

I have a whole fucking list too. There are some great real titles though, my favourite was Shaving Ryan's Privates, that was until I heard of Twin Cheeks. I don't think anyone will ever top that.

I feel like Corrections this week are gonna be a drop in the water because this movie laughs at any modicum of logic. But I will correct the common Keanu rumour with a wiki quote: "It has been reported that Reeves gave approximately US$80 million of his US$114 million earnings of The Matrix sequels, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions, to the special effects and makeup staff. The story has been denied by special effects staff themselves as an urban legend. The story likely had its roots in a back-end deal Reeves made with the producers of The Matrix Reloaded relinquishing his contractual right to a percentage of the earnings from the ticket sales. Reeves reportedly did so to allow producers the flexibility for an extensive special effects budget. The value of Reeves' foregone share of the ticket profits has been estimated as US$38 million, which was added to the overall movie budget, rather than going directly to special effects." So its sort of true but not exactly. He is a good dude though, my own and this forum's love for Keanu is well documented. Like 2 whole pages of the Xander Cage thread is a Keanu circle jerk and he's not even in that movie. And I would gladly do it again.

There actually is a porno version and it took so fucking long I have begun to doubt my sanity

Fuck Australia Fuck this movie It was like the writer of P.S. I Love You saw Primer and got some ideas but didn't think it through. I felt like this all week:

Come see my new metal band

I did some Animorphs shit and your hypothesis checks out.

Also Vin Diesel's wife is a Mexican model and somehow in his mind it just became beautiful world this year

I couldn't agree more. You took the words out of my mouth. He's not at all wooden in Bill and Ted and he's amazing in My Own Private Idaho. People think of the Matrix where he is supposed to be wooden. He's not good in The Devil's Advocate but no one is good in that movie. Al Pacino is doing a Nicolas Cage level performance and everyone looks like a puppet in comparison. I agree John Wick works really well with Keanu, I haven't seen the second one yet but the first one was great. The dog plot had no hint of irony and he is amazing in that movie. I remember those photos from the 90s where someone found him sharing breakfast with a homeless guy. Anyone else I'd assume it was faked for the press but I believe it about Keanu. Plus he gave up some of his salary for the Matrix sequels to put into pay for the special effects crews. In a town full of douchebags he seems like a rare genuine guy. I'm all in on the Keanu love in this forum.

I FOUND THE FUCKING VIDEO! I had to do some CSI audio shit to find it. Check out the comments below the video. Vin Diesal fans are really concerned about his health or really defensive. For a man who looks like a penis he sure has some sincerely devoted fans.

That's actually written on our passports. We know. Our country runs a prison island for refugees kept in indefinate incarceration and is illegal under international law. So yeah. Everyone talking about Ruby Rose as if we are supposed to know who that is. I have never heard of her before. On imdb she has barely any credits. Who cares and plus if she's Australian who cares even more.

Still my favourite Futurama cameo. Even better than Lucy Liu's.

Takeaways: 1. This movie made $100 million in Mainland China in 6 days. Such is the power (and awesomeness) of Donnie Yen. If you're new to Donnie Yen check out his scene in Hero. 2. Vin Diesel is King of the Douchebags and Zuckerberg is just like all the other douchebag nerds I've met. 3. "When did this turn into beautiful world?" and all I could think of was Devo's cathartic (and strangely prescient) masterpiece: 4. June must have been raised Catholic because 'eating-sushi-in-a-cinema' guilt sounds like a classic example of Catholic guilt 5. Does anyone know the clip they played at the end? There's music throughout so I couldn't tell what was happening.

It's crowning